Saturday, December 31, 2011

Uninspired

Today is Unlucky Day! Wow! What a day to end on. After all the fun and food, the calendar slaps a downer day right in my face as if to say "Haha! Fooled ya! It was all a long rise leading to an anti-climactic anti-celebration"

Or maybe what makes this day unlucky is the fact that it is the last day. All the holidays are over and celebrated, and this is the last day I get to write to all you lovely people and tell you what to do today. I'll miss it. You might. The Internet as a whole... Well that'll pretty much stay the same.

Of course, it doesn't lessen the memories that I've made while visiting museums, trying weird food, and learning about customs from other places around the world. This'll be a year I won't soon forget, if only by the holiday memories' merits alone.

The Unluckiest thing that happened to me, and still IS happening, is that I can't think of something new and fun to keep my mind busy. If I don't find something to keep myself distracted and experiencing new things, I might accidentally do something weird and crazy. Like... write a book. Or something. That's what wild and crazy people do, right? ARGH! The clock is ticking! I have to go think of something fast!

Here's hoping your year was just as filled with fun, and that your next brings even more new things into your life. Have a good one, folks!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

I finally snapped.

Today is Festival of Enormous Changes at The Last Minute! No, really. In fact, I was so busy making all these changes, that I almost forgot to tell you about it!!! All of my changes have been most mental, although should they be enacted according to my plan that reaches levels of convolutedness normally reserved for the maniacally evil, they will soon be fulfilled by the means of several physical actions acted out in the outside-of-my-mind world! [insert evil laugh here] SEE YOU TOMORROW!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Has He Thoughts Within His Head?

Today is Pepper Pot Day! A pepper pot is a peppery soup, usually made with tripe, although apparently nobody uses that, and instead they replace it with some other meat (according to every recipe site I visited). I could make an authentic Pepper Pot, but I did my best with what was available at my work. So basically a very peppery vegetable medley soup. ... But to make up for that minor discrepancy, I will now watch the recent Iron Man movies. Because Tony Stark's personal assistant and love interest is the lovely Pepper Potts. So... that's a good reason if I've ever heard one.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Shuffled Truffles

Today is National Card-Playing Day! With just me and my brother home along for the next... oh... let's say 15 or so hours, there aren't many card games for me to play aside from War or Solitaire. Since my brother just got a new PC, and I have been bequeathed an iPad, I choose Solitaire. For several reasons.

1) My brother wants to play on his computer
2) I don't have to shuffle the cards on my iPad

So there.

Today is also National Chocolate Day! (Again, I'm sure). But I have nothing against someone wanting to celebrate chocolate more than once. Frankly, I think there should be a No Chocolate Day, and we could all just assume that every other day IS Chocolate Day. That's just one man and every woman in the world's opinion, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Cake and Fruit is Good.

Today is National Fruitcake Day! Fruitcake is the butt of far more jokes than it deserves. If baked, and eaten, correctly, it can actually be pretty good. I mean...it's fruit and cake. That has not ever not been at least somewhat satisfying. Granted, fruitcake is generally a little... tougher... than most cakes, but that's really one of the only few downsides. Case in point: No sitcom has made fun of a fruitcake's taste. They always make fun of its weight, mass, or density. Which, if you think about it, are really just preferences when it comes to cake. Not that it's an all-too-common way to order a cake. If you come to my bakery and order a "dense, weighty" cake, I will not have any idea what you are looking for, and probably just suggest chocolate to you. Most people think chocolate is denser. For some reason. Weirdos.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, December 26, 2011

THIS IS WHINING

Today is National Whiner's Day! I imagine it's a day for us to whine about the horrible gifts we got, but I honestly enjoy every gift I got. Plus, I used one of my new gifts to watch Tangled with a good friend just an hour ago, and then skyped a friend whom I missed very much! I have nothing to whine about today! But, that means I can't celebrate today... UUUUUUGH THAT SUCKS!!!

Oh wait there we go.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Pumpkin Post

Today is Pumpkin Pie Day! I ate a piece of Pumpkin Pie and MERRY CHRISTMAS, it was good. I like pumpkin pie. A lot. It's about the only pumpkin flavored thing I like. Anyway, it's christmas, so I have to pay attention to family, so... later.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Bleh!g-Nog

Today is National Eggnog Day! Eggnog is a very popular drink for the season! In fact, people really only drink it at christmas parties. You probably won't see it at any old shin-dig, but you'd have a safe chance of seeing one at a gala or some such thing. That's not to say it's a fancy drink by any means, it's just not really a common thing unless someone brings it or asks for it. It can be made with or without alcohol. I tried the one without alcohol and it left me with just one question.

What in the name of Old Saint Nick is wrong with you people?

Egg Nog is disgusting. Maybe it's because I had a store-made one. Maybe it's because it NEEDS the alcohol because that's the only way to handle the taste: drunk. It reminds me of the coconut flavored medicine my mother gave me when I was young. Which made me barf. Egg Nog reminds me of coconut barf. Happy Christmas Eve.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, December 23, 2011

Santa's Descendant

Today is Roots Day! A day to rediscover your roots, today is dedicated to... er... what I just said...

My grandmother recently told me that I was related to Father Christmas, so I thought this would be a great thing to look up, seeing as 'tis the season. For... looking up dead relatives...

I, like you, assumed that I was related to Santa, and would therefore someday take on the famous red mantle along with a few hundred pounds and start give the more preferable children some rewarding gifts that would more than likely be video game related. Because that's the kind of santa I am. The bad kids would get books. Not because I dislike books, I actually love them. I'd give them to the bad kids, because I think a good book could improve character.

WOW RABBIT TRAIL! Short story shorter, I eventually found out that "Father Christmas" was just Father Christmas. An Irish Priest with a VERY misleading name. Weird thing is: I can't even find THAT Father Christmas online anymore... maybe... someone is hiding my family history from me? Which can only mean one thing...

Well, I'm off to go on an Indiana-Jonesian adventure, I guess. Be back tomorrow!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Lazier than ever!

Today is National Date-nut Bread Day! I ate some! Movie time with the family!



Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Bright Flashburger

Today is Look On The Bright Side Day!
Today is also Flashlight Day!
Today is also Hamburger Day!
I thought I'd tell you all three before I told you that I carried a flashlight all day, and even used it on my hamburger before I ate it. And now, off to look at some christmas lights with the family, and then turn in for the night.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Game Time

Today is Games Day! Today I played Magic Piano, Cube Runner, Fastar, Green Fingers, Skyrim, The Sims 3, and just a whoooole bunch of other games. I encourage you to find whatever game suits your fancy and get to playing it. Other than that, have a good night!

I guess I should apologize for the brevity of recent posts. I have family over and am squeezing these in between family time and celebration time. It's quite busy near the end of the year as is, too. But I digress.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, December 19, 2011

I did it.

Today is Oatmeal Muffin Day! I ate an oatmeal muffin at work. BLUH!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, December 18, 2011

This Little Piggy Got Married.

Today is National Roast Sucking Pig Day! I've been busy today, what with my brother getting married, but I'll try to squeeze this in before I pass out for the night. A roast suckling pig is a pig that is roasted and suckling on an apple. It's dead, though, so the apple is really just in it's mouth. Dead pigs can't suckle. I hope. That would be weird. I ate pork and apple flavored gum, but that's as close as it came today, to be honest. But, I'm giving myself a break due to the unlikelihood of getting a roasted suckling pig on a whim. Much less on a day where I'm best-manning a wedding. Which, by the way, was a great wedding and I couldn't be happier for my brother!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Mild Mannered

Today is Underdog Day! A day to celebrate all the overlooked shoeshine boys that become the greatest heros of all time. I know there's at least one hero in particular that plays off of the idea of an underdog. I just... can't seem to remember his name. Weird. It'll come back to me. I just watched some of his old escapades, too. UGH! This is gonna bug me all night.

Just kidding his name is Underdog, duh.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, December 16, 2011

Dip ALL the Things!



Today is Chocolate Dipped Anything Day! Oh... Oh yes. Oh sweet merciful mercies of merciful merciness, yes. This day has been much looked forward to the entire year. Granted, I eat chocolate every day, but this... this is the day for it! I went back to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory to get some chocolate covered anything, and bought one of almost every chocolate covered good they had! I am about to go to town on this plate of goodness, so you'll excuse me if I'm sound rushed, but... I really want to eat this stuff. You should too! Not my stuff, though. Get your own. Chocolate, despite what hershey's commercials make you think, is not for sharing with just any random person you meet. Sharing chocolate is a benefit only given to the highest echelon of friends. Also, I can't hand chocolate through the internet... but I look forward to that day.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I'm sickly

Today is National Lemon Cupcake Day! Lemon Cake is pretty good and that translates into cupcakes, but my stomach is too sick to think about any of it! I ate one, though, so don't worry about that. I just don't want to THINK about it. Everyone knows lemon cookies are better anyway.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

More French Food

Today is National Bouillabaisse Day! I already feel like I've accomplished something today based solely on the fact that I spelled that right on my first try! Unfortunately for me, that doesn't count as a celebration according to my very flimsy 'rules' that I have for this blog. Since I happen to live within driving distance of a french restaurant or two, I found time to go and have a quick-ish dish of it. It's a soup with fish or shellfish prepared with several hens and spices that give it a uniquely French flavor. That can be good or bad depending on your opinion of the French. I thought it was pretty good, even though what I had wasn't exactly "authentic". It was as close as I could get! See if you can get closer. Unless you live in France. That's what we call an unfair advantage.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Cold Music



Today is Ice Cream and Violins Day! Now, at first I thought this was two separate holidays, but as it would happen: It isn't. That made explaining the meaning of this holiday much harder. The celebration is still almost the same thanks to the 'and' between the two, but there is actually no solid explanation that I've found. Only theories. So... here is my theory.

Question: Ice cream is a cold treat, and is a summer favourite (as seen by all the ice cream holidays). So why would we celebrate it in December? A month notorious for it's lack of heat.

Answer: I do not know yet, so let's move on to violins.

Fact: Violins are known for being cued for either one of two things in musical scores made for the silver screen: sharks and sadness.

Other Fact: Ice cream has very little to do with sharks. However, dramatic characters that are sad turn to one of two foods to help ease their weepy pains: Chocolate or Ice Cream.

Less-than-Fact: Chocolate give a warming sensation that causes the eater to be just the slightest bit happier. While Ice cream does the same thing, it doesn't to it to the same extent, especially if it has no chocolate in it.

All of it Put Together: Violins can be said to be known for being a sad instrument, and Ice Cream can be a treat to eat while you are sad. So today must be a day to grab a pint (of ice cream, mind you), crank up the Tchaikovsky, and wallow! What're you waiting for? Get to it!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, December 12, 2011

What a Dingbat.



Today is National Ding-a-ling Day! Most of the people I know would instantly think that this would be a Chuck Berry related holiday. Thankfully, it is not. Instead today is a celebration of the OTHER meaning behind the phrase: a person whose head is not quite on. It's a day to celebrate the friend who is last to laugh. If you don't have a friend who laughs last, you either have creepily synchronized friendships, or you are that friend. So today might be a day to celebrate the fact that YOU are a ding-a-ling. Be your ding-a-lingiest today!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Noodles!

Today is Noodle Ring Day! The kind you eat, not the ones in pools. A noodle ring is a baked ring of noodles surrounding pasta or filled with cheese. Or both if you want it to. I mean you're the chef. Your choice. No pressure.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Thar she blows!

Yesterday was National Pastry Day, but my internet didn't want you to know until today. I celebrated at my work, and I'm sure that most of you celebrated without even knowing it. It was a workday AND a friday, after all.

Today is The Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales! This holiday requires a little more explanation than most, unless you live in Alaska. Your chances of knowing what it is would raise slightly if that is the case.  Inuits in Northern Alaska hunt whales in order to fill a large portion of their diet, since there isn't really any fruit or vegetation that's readily available. From mid-spring to early summer, they hunt bowhead whales, and hold a day-long celebration-feast for the whales captured. They have a tradition in November that has more or less become their thanksgiving since the introduction of the christian era. They have another feast with parts of the whale that were saved, along with different birds and what ever else the community has to offer. The last celebration is right around christmas time (today). This is a day that they pay homage to all animals, give prayer, dance, and feast. This celebration lasts up to an entire week! Count me in! I just don't have any whale meat to eat or offer. I can bring hot chocolate, though!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Brownies and... I Dunno

Today is National Brownie Day! Today is pretty obviously a day to eat brownies. Which, as I have stated with every baked good related holiday, my job at a bakery made extremely easy. I mean... it's pretty easy anyway. Just mix up some brownie batter and baked it on up.

Today is Also Take it in the Ear Day, but I have no idea what that means, and even with internet research I still couldn't find a definition. Even Urban Dictionary, my site to learn what things that sound like something twisted, nasty, and perverse didn't not have any definition for it. I really wish I knew what it meant so that I could know whether or not it's something horrifying to think about or not. But I am clueless. Which might be a good thing.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Like clouds, but tastier

Today is Cotton Candy Day! So I ate some. That's kinda all there is to say on the matter. Nah I'll tell you more later, but the light just turned green.

[MORE]
Cotton Candy is one of those things in life that you won't really understand until you try it yourself. It's a popular thing to eat at the fair, and it should be more of a thing at the movies. I really don't understand why theaters don't sell it. It's easy, it's quiet, it's shareable, and most importantly they can buy it cheap and charge an obscene amount for it.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Soup and Gloves

Today is Gazpacho Day! Gazpacho is a really delicious tomato soup that originates from Portuguese culture. It's tomato-based, and has garlic, onion, and whatever herbs and spices the chef deems tasty enough for their specific style of gazpacho. It's a cold soup, and usually more of a summer thing, but it still tastes good! Although eating cold soup in the winter wasn't too fun. At least it was fairly easy to find.

Today is also Mitten Tree Day! I found quite a few explanations about what today could be, but most of them have to do with either a story about mittens, putting mittens on a tree, or giving to the less fortunate. I decided to wear mittens and go give something to the bell-ringers outside of the mall (which is where I went to get Gazpacho... or tried to anyway... that trek took an hour or so of map-searching.

Thanks for watching!
~Kyle

Monday, December 5, 2011

It's Cake, But Fancy.



Today is National Sacher Torte Day! Like anything fancy, it is not at all pronounced how it looks, and if you say it wrong at a restaurant, they will likely laugh at you in the kitchen. "Satcher Tart? Sorcha Turt? S... Soccer... I'll just have that thing in the picture." A Sacher Torte is chocolate cake with apricot jam in the middle, and coated with a rich chocolate frosting. I actually am a fairly big fan of it, as it is quite good. I can only handle it once or twice a year, though. So today is one of those times!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Bring Me My Brown Shoes!

Today is Wear Brown Shoes Day! Today is such an incredibly easy day to celebrate, that in my morning stupor, I completely forgot to check what holiday it was (which is what usually happens). I only remembered to check when I was getting the snack for children's church ready. Lo, and behold: I looked down on my feet and adorning them were two of the brownest shoes I e'er did own. Which... was pretty likely, considering I am a boy and do not change shoes daily. Plus, they're new shoes, so why wouldn't I wear them all day every day? Because I usually do not like wearing shoes. Is the answer to that question. Today, though, I will wear my brown shoes to the fullest of my ability. Which is a lot. I'm a great shoe-wearer.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Looks Good Up There.

Today is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day! Today is a day to be thankful for all that roof you have over your head, and to be thankful for the things it protects you from. This time of year, it mostly protects you from snow, cold, and zombie paratroopers. They are notoriously known for their winter escapades. Don't forget that it also protects you from the searing, unforgiving blister-heat that we so naively play in every summer that the sun forces on us. Unless you live in a glass house... which kudos to you for being sinless, but that has to feel unsettling every now and then. Well, regardless of your roof shape, size, material, or... weight(?), be sure to enjoy the fact that you have one. Not everyone does.

On a less serious note, today would be a great day to make a Gingerbread House.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, December 2, 2011

More Apple Stuff

Today is National Fritters Day! If you don't know what a fritter is, or are at the very least unsure if what you think is a fritter isn't just another kind of donut: A fritter is fried cake with either meat or fruit inside of it. Most of the time, people think fruit when they hear 'fritter', though. I ate an apple fritter today, and if I do say so myself: this month is shaping up to be pretty awesome. Holiday-wise anyway.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, December 1, 2011

One Stone

Today is National Pie Day! I sure do love me some pie.

Today is also Eat A Red Apple Day! I sure do love me some apples, too.

Obviously my one and only choice to celebrate today was to eat an apple pie made from red apples. Now, when buying a pie, it can be hard to tell which apples were used. ... Unless you ask, I guess. But I'm a busy man and I don't have time to go around Target looking for someone to ask such silly questions to. Besides, there were red apples on the box's picture so I just assumed. Good thing I was right, because these holidays have been celebrated!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Does this still count?

Today is Stay At Home Because You're Well Day! This is, by my interpretation: a day to stay home because you are well. However, I am not feeling well today. Usually not feeling well would cause me to stay home. But if I'm supposed to stay home if I'm well today, should I go as many places as I can today because I don't feel well? ... I don't know why I'm asking. I already am doing that. I went to work, the bank, to schedule a haircut, to starbucks, to a park, to a restaurant, and now my old high school. So... I'm saying that I'm still technically following the rules of the day, and this holiday is therefore: Celebrated.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Grab Yer Pardner

Today is Square Dance Day! A pretty self explanatory day, if you ask me. Grab a partner and do some square dancing. If you know how, that is. If not, then maybe take a class on it today? Luckily for me, I'm extremely well versed in the knowledge of a respectable amount of dancing techniques, and among those techniques is square dancing. It is, however, just knowledge at the end of the day. With very little practice, I can make no claim to being good at it. But gosh dernit if I didn't try my best. At least you won't look that weird doing it, since you need a partner to do it most of the time. When more than one person does something odd, it becomes less odd. Which is basically the history of square dancing right there.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, November 28, 2011

A Head of the Game

Today is Make Your Own Head Day! There are many crafty ways to make your own head, but having none of the supplies for sculpting, molding, or even drawing, I went with a method I found on the internet! As an added bonus, you can do it, too! So have fun creating your own abstracted version of yourself today. I'm thinking far too much with my right brain today, so it didn't come out as abstract or colorful as it could have been, but it is, at least, existent.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Point Made

Today is Pins and Needles Day! I bet you were on pins and needles wondering if I was going to update today. That was totally part of my plan and it definitely isn't because I got super distracted by random things. HISTORY TIME!

Pins and Needles Day is a holiday originally meant to celebrate the opening date of the late 1930's Broadway show Pins and Needles. It was a show written in and about the Pro-Labor movement, which you know all about from history because you were a good student and payed attention. It was written by good ol' Harold Rome* and performed by the members of the I.L.G.W.U. (International Ladies Garment Workers Union). It had 1,108 performances! That's more than a lot of other ones, but not so much anymore. It held the record for a while, though! Plus, it got a holiday named after it, so... I mean that's cool.

Today, however, people mostly celebrate today by either being on pins and needles or putting others on them. Not literally, I would hope, but... y'know. Fictionally... I guess.

Being on pins and needles is usually fun. It's the kind of stressed that gets you moving or excited without feeling anything like stress. Putting people on pins and needles is even MORE fun because it's fun to see them get excited. Doing it to someone is also one of the easiest things in the world to do, too! Wanna know how? Tune in tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 26, 2011

I want an iPad 2

Today is Shopping Reminder Day! Cleverly placed after Black Friday, this is a day to remind your friends and family about everything you want for Christmas. At least that's what I'm going to say with what little (see: no) research I've done. I can't do any right now, since I'm out at a bachelor party celebrating my brother's upcoming wedding. So... Back to that I go.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 25, 2011

I'm going with caramel apple.

For some reason, the post I wrote yesterday would not upload, so I'm going to try again today, and simply include yesterday briefly. VERY briefly.

Yesterday was Use Even If The Seal Is Broken Day, and I celebrated by eating some probably too-old stuff that was in the fridge/pantry. So far, I'm not in the hospital.

More important to today's celebration, though: Today is National Parfait Day! Another food holiday that is easy enough to celebrate. Almost every fast food restaurant has a parfait. At least the ones near me do. The only problem is I'm not sure if I want McDonald's caramel apple parfait or Dairy Queen's Peanut Buster Parfait. I better make a decision in the next 11 hours!!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Gesundheit!

Today is National Cashew Day! Out of all the nuts and nutty things in the world, cashews are probably my favorite. Actually, I'll just be confident about it and claim it a my favorite. They're much better than the others. It's a universal fact. That's why they're the first to go in a mixed nut bowl. So eat some cashews today! Easy peasy.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I Hereby Decree

Today is Start Your Own Country Day! Many people have mentioned that I've been in my own unique state for most of my life, so I guess I am overdue for an upgrade to my property. That makes today the perfect chance to do so! I hereby claim all land within 5 feet of where-ever I go to be my country. Now that may not be technically legal in most other countries, but luckily: it is in mine! Which is, in case you haven't heard, everywhere I go. The great thing about my country, though, is that it automatically assumes the laws of whatever country it is surrounded by. So for now, my country follows America's laws. It just makes the paperwork easier. Every good country needs a name, too. ... Actually every country needs a name regardless of whether it's good or not. Enough of that nonsense, my country is named... Kyleton? Wait that's a city sounding name. Let's go with Kylia. That's good. It rolls off the tongue. It also sounds like Hylia which I am totally all for.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle (King/Ambassador/Everyone of Kylia)

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hello, Liar

Today is World Hello Day! Today is celebrated by simply saying "hello" to as many people as you can. You don't have to say anything more than that, although it is considered polite to unless you are simply passing them in a hallway and want to acknowledge their existence without given them the option of filling you in on their life story. Simply greet other people today in a nice, friendly way.

Today is also False Confessions Day! You can celebrate this half of today by confessing things that are not true. I wouldn't confess to a crime if I were you, but almost anything else is fair game as long as the people you choose to confess to know you well. Otherwise, they may just take it too seriously, and all of the sudden you'll be 'that guy'. The one who claims he's a real daredevil and would totally do anything for the same adrenaline rush that you got when you totally went sledding on a black diamond slope in the Alps. Totally. You so did that.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Bluh Bluh bluh

Today is Absurdity Day! A day to be illogical, nonsensical, and just all around ridiculous. I'd like to imagine that this day is celebrated more on the mental front than on the physical. Mainly because logic occurs in the brain, not out. So be sure to make things make as little sense as possible today because that's why even people would have want do today at all together!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Sing A Sad Song

Today is Have a Bad Day Day! No. Problem. Bad days are the easiest kind of days to have. It only involves simply ignoring all the good things about the day. For a critic of basically everything I see, this is an astoundingly easy thing for me to do. So have yourself a bad day today, and make sure to tell others to have a bad day, too. If they don't think they can, then help them out a little in whatever way you can find. Again, though: Keep it legal out there.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Cult Classic

Today is Occult Day! The occult is something that deals with the supernatural or paranormal, and is usually cast in a none-too-positive light. I find it hi-ho-larious that the newest Twilight movie came out today, and that hi-ho-larious doesn't come up as a misspelled word. Probably due to the hyphens. I decided that the best way to celebrate... er... acknowledge today was to perform a little magic trick. And here it is. I can't say that it turned out too well for me. Let this be a lesson to all you kids. Don't mess with magic.



Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Hike In My Head

Today is Take a Hike Day! Now, there aren't many places near me that I would qualify as a genuine 'hike', as I always thought you need at least one good hill involved to no just be on a walk or a stroll. However, I did my best to find an at least somewhat bumpy path to hike on, and did! Being a complete dummy, I forgot to take any pictures or evidence whatsoever. However, since I was pretty much alone with my thoughts, I heard them quite clearly, and actually have a mental record of what I was thinking. So here is a brief look into what goes on in my head in the easiest way I could think of to do it. Script-form.

LOGIC (Pretty much the head honcho): Alright, guys, we've made it to the park. Quick check to see how everything is going. Everybody report.

DOC (Handles almost physical stuff): The stomachs still looking good thanks to the late breakfast, the neck's a little stiff from driving, though.

LOGIC: I'll have one of the interns tell the hands to get crackin' on that.

DOC: Great. The feet seem to be wondering why they aren't being covered up. The ground is still cold before noon.

LOGIC: Look, they kept complaining about shoes being too tight, so a vote was passed to forgo wearing shoes until the new ones came in the mail.

DOC: New ones have come. They're very comfy, if lacking in arch support.

LOGIC: Well, we'll have to call another meeting about that, then, he might have gotten used to going shoeless. Right now let's focus on the task at hand: Enjoying nature. EMOTICON, what's the feel out there?

EMOTICON (A robot built to process emotion (spoken in a robotic voice)): Everything looks very fresh and new with the morning dew on it. I especially like that tree that looks like a face. :) Otherwise, I'm not getting many clear observations yet.

LOGIC: Why not?

EMOTICON: It seems that the observation deck has not turned all it's systems on yet :/

LOGIC: What?

(LOGIC swivels his chair around to face SEPIA and RUSSET, who control the left and right eye respectively)

LOGIC: What's going on, you two?

SEPIA: We haven't had our coffee yet.

LOGIC: Kyle... doesn't drink coffee.

RUSSET: He doesn't, but we do. It's cliche of our character types.

LOGIC: ... Whatever. Drink some coffee then.

SEPIA: Aw, we can't imagine good coffee.

LOGIC: You've literally had a front seat to every coffee ever seen by Kyle. Do your best.

RUSSET: ...Fine

(Coffee appears and SEPIA & RUSSET drink it)

LOGIC: Alright. Anyone else have anything to report?

CHAOS (Nobody really knows what this guy does, but he's interesting, so they let him come to the meetings): Totally. Did you guys know that the Space Jam website is still up? The original one! I saw a tweet about it yesterday and thought I'd bring it up.

LOGIC: Thanks. That's great...

EMOTICON: The sunrise is so beautiful, guys.

LOGIC: It's 10:47...

EMOTICON. It was beautiful, though.

LOGIC: Good to hear. Log it into the memory files.

EMOTICONS: Well, we've seen better, to be honest.

LOGIC: Alright, well we'll just keep it on the table until it gets in the way, then.

ANXIETY (Tries to keep the brain free of clutter or duplicate ideas): Uuuuugh! The tables so full, though. Argh... I'll just throw out some character names from Chuck. He hasn't watched that show in a while.

LOGIC: I'm getting some readings of annoyance from the brain. Anyone know what the cause is?

ANXIETY: You're wel-

RUSSET (shouting across room): Yeah, there are some mosquitos out today. We're teaming up with the guys running the hands to care of it, but there's also gnats everywhere.

EMOTICON: Why do gnats always stay above the sidewalk?! >:(

LOGIC: It's fine, it's fine. We've got a good swatting method, and as long as we don't breath during the gnat clouds, we'll be fine.

SUBCONSCIOUS (Background guy): NO! I take care of breathing just fine! If you take over, he'll just hold his breath for fun again!

LOGIC: Calm down, you still have control of... is there a word for wanting to live?

SUBCONSCIOUS: You mean the thing I do when he holds his breath for too long and I make him start breathing before he passes out?

LOGIC: Yes. I don't think there's a word for that. Make a note to try to find one later.

ANXIETY: Ugh...

DOC: Oh I think I should mention that we do need to go to the bathroom.

LOGIC: It'll have to wait, he's still hiking.

DOC: Well, it's one of those times where I should have brought it up hours ago, but just found it on my desk and realized it was never taken care of.

LOGIC: (Heavy sigh) Alright, let's head back to the car.

END SCENE!

And that's how I think of my brain. There were actually a lot more subjects talked about between other people at the meeting, but I just gave you the really pertinent things.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Don't Push My Buttons

Today is Button Day! There are quite a lot of kinds of buttons in this world. Don't even get me started on sizes and shapes. Depending on the button you're talking about, it could be practical enough to hold your shirt together so as not to accidentally reveal your totally chiseled abs that you so totally have, or it could be unlabeled enough to make you wonder what would happen if you pressed it and how many of those possible consequences is pressing that button worth?

My advice: Choose what kind of button you want to celebrate today. Whether it be your favorite button-up shirt, your favorite flair from the one restaurant where the employees wear them like chainmail, or a little portable button for you to press on whenever you feel like you need to be in control. It's all fair game.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Decide, THEN Open.

Today is Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day! Some people may see the meaning of this holiday as going through your fridge and taking out any and all spoiled items, or items that you've forgotten that you had and will probably now never use. I, however, see it as meaning: Go ahead and eat all you want out of your fridge. Besides, that covers the first one in a way, too. If you eat enough, your fridge will be like new! But please don't eat that much... it isn't healthy. Unless there isn't much in your fridge to begin with. Or if it's a mini-fridge. I guess a full size fridge with a thanksgiving dinner's worth of goods could conceivably be eaten. I wouldn't, though. Someone is probably saving that for thanksgiving. Kinda early to do that, but you can discuss that with them yourself.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, November 14, 2011

Helloooooo Nurse!

Today is Operation Room Nurse Day! These are those kindly nurses that calm you down before surgery, help make sure the operation goes according to plan during, and are super nice to you after the operation and make sure you don't do anything stupid to yourself while you're still high on painkillers. They work hard to make sure that all their patients are comfortable throughout every step of their staying at the hospital. They're pretty awesome people. I mean, I can only vouch for the ones I've met, but so far they're 100% pretty dang cool. So be sure to thank any O.R. Nurses you know today. Maybe treat them to a day out on the town or just a visa gift card. Those are good gifts to get.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Well isn't that nice.

Today is World Kindness Day! It should be pretty obvious that you celebrate today by being just a generally nice person. And that's what I did! Instead of my usual cryptic insults and underhanded compliments, I strictly stuck to overhanded compliments or nothing at all. ... Thats... kind of all there really is to say on the matter.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Pie of LIES!

Today is National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day! While I ate some pizza today, it didn't have EVERYthing on it due to domino's strict 10 topping policy. So instead I hate a supreme pizza from Pizza Hut. Because I was both mad at Domino's and I wanted Taco Bell, which is connected to Pizza Hut. So there, Dominos. Try to ruin MY year of celebration. I'll take MY business elsewhere. ...I'll still pretty much always get deliveries from you, though because your pizza is awesome and personal pans from pizza hut just do not compare.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 11, 2011

It's Everywhere!





Today is Air Day! Ah... air... what would we do without it? (Don't answer that). Air is, as we all should know by now, an essential for humans. So essential in fact, that we are wired to not even think about when we use it! Breathing is a passive action that our brain does all by itself without making us worry about all the little ins and outs. There are some times when we deem it necessary to over-ride that system, though. One of the most notable ways is the deep breath. A deep breath to calm the nerves and attempt to let go of some of the stress of the moment. Today, being a very easy day for me to celebrate is my deep breath of relaxation for the month. At least in terms of the blog. I'll be taking several real-life deep breaths in the next few months.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Forget who?

Today is Forget-Me-Not Day! Today is a day to remember (not forget) people who you don't see as often as you would like. It's also a day to appreciate the forget-me-not flower. But since I'm freezing my fingers off waiting outside a store for a certain midnight release of a hopefully awesome video game. So... I'm gonna start texting people to keep me company. People who will most likely read this and then feel used. So people, I apologize in advance.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I Ramble In This Post

Today is Chaos Never Dies Day! Today is a day to recognize the fact that there will always be some small amount of chaos in your life. It sounds depressing, but believe me: it isn't. Here, let me try to explain.

Chaos is, by definition according to my dictionary, Disorder and Confusion. Now, both or those words have a fairly obvious negative connotation to them, but disorder actually means "a state of confusion". That makes Disorder somewhat of a subsection of Confusion's whole business. So let's just focus on why I'm trying to tell you that Confusion is good. Well... not 'good'... but it isn't inherently bad.

Confusion means "A lack of understanding". Now we're getting somewhere. Instead of defining Confusion by any other word that has negative connotation, we are defining it by it's lack of a word with good connotation: Understanding, which means (most pertinently) 'the power of abstract thought'.

"WHOA, Kyle. I thought Chaos was abstract thoughts and stuff like that!"

Well, you are both right and wrong. Chaos deals with abstract thoughts, but only in the way that a baby deals with it's own diaper. See, Understanding is the power of abstract thought, meaning that it is used to harness the potential of the thoughts by putting them into patterns that can be easily remembered and later turned into ideas. That way your brain doesn't have to find it's way down memory lane twice. You made a map! Chaos, being the lack of understanding, can have all the thoughts it wants, but even if thoughts correlate, a map may never be made between the two, thus making it harder to see how they ever related.

It's almost like how you may tie a string around your finger to remember to go grocery shopping. How many things does grocery shopping have in common with tying a string to your finger? Close to none. But you see that string and it reminds you that you had something to do. Instantly your brain goes through the "Things I Have To Do" File Cabinet it has until it remembers: "Grocery Shopping". Congratulations! You have re-travelled the road you subconsciously made when you connected those thoughts in the first place. In fact, thats such a common visual stimulus, that when I see a string on someone's finger, one of the first things I think is "They must be trying to remember something". Not all abstract bridges need stimuli, though. In fact, most of my own don't.

Now that I've said ALL that, here is why chaos isn't bad: It's needed to make anything interesting. If we had only Understanding, then there would be little need for studying or exploring. Chaos, in manageable amounts, is what pushes humans forward. It causes new ideas to be had due to the fact that everyone connects the abstract thoughts differently. It makes us want to learn more and gain more understanding. However, the more we discover, the more questions there are about these new, as of yet unconnected abstract thoughts created by the new discovery. That creates an endless amount of things to discover, which makes life worth exploring! Chaos and Understanding aren't at opposite ends of any spectrum, instead it's more of a ratio of what is and isn't understood. The reason that Chaos is usually shed in such a scary light is because we can quantify how much we understand, but we will never be able to measure what we don't. I personally, find that pretty exciting, though. It would be boring if we knew how much there was left to know. Would we even want to?

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Blockhead

Today is Dunce Cap Day! The Dunce Cap was invented by a man who went by the name of "John", because that was his name. John Duns Scotis thought that the cap would increase intelligence in those that seemed to lack it by allowing the knowledge to flow from the tip of the cap and trickle down onto the wearer's head. Why is knowledge flowing out of the top? I dunno. That's just weird. anyway, it kinda backfired on the people wearing it, because everyone then knew how dumb they were. And that is why the dunce cap is now seen as a symbol of low intelligence. You can celebrate by making a make-shift dunce cap and either wearing it yourself, or you can do what I did and put it on someone else.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, November 7, 2011

Aw man... Almonds.



Today is National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day! Now if there's one thing I hate about chocolate, it's nuts in it. As a double whammy, the only chocolate with almonds I can find that still qualifies as bittersweet chocolate also has coconut in it. I hate coconut. "It's not the taste, it's the texture" as I'm sure you've heard a bajillion times before. The reason is because my mother gave me some coconut flavoured medicine (good call mom) even though grape medicine is as nasty as the inners of an old man's ear, os one would assume a NON-fruit medicine would be a batrillion times worse. Coconut isn't a fruit, right? Maybe it is. It's on fruit ninja... so it must be I guess. Well, I'm not correcting myself. I'm doing this LIVE! Whatever I'm just rambling to avoid eating this Almond Joy. Here goes nothing. I'll update you on how it goes.

[UPDATE]
This is dag nasty. Gotta power through, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Saxophone Island

Today is Marooned Without a Compass Day! Being marooned is bad enough, but having no compass? Well... actually that's not all that bad if you have even the most basic survival skills. Plus, I found it nearly impossible to be without a compass today. My phone had a compass, so I just didn't use that app. Simple enough. However, every street sign, building, and several landmarks had compasses or some sort of directional instructions on them. I suppose that at this point in time, we've pretty much figure out the lay of the land as a species, so this holiday, while hard to celebrate, was celebrated to the best of my ability.

Today is also Saxophone Day! Today is in honor of the birthday of Adophe Sax, who invented the Saxophone. ... In case that wasn't apparent by his name. He made a whopping 8 different kinds of saxophones in his lifetime, as a matter of fact! This holiday was significantly easier to celebrate. There are many classic songs that incorporate quite a bit of sax, along with some really recent songs, too. For some reason, the sax has become a very popular choice for alternative rock bands lately. Not that I'm complaining. Sounds good. Sounds pretty dag good.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Remember, Remember.

Today is Gunpowder Day! Also known as Guy Fawkes Day, this is a holiday(?) celebrated(?) in England. I question whether or not I should call it a holiday or say that it is celebrated due to the confusing nature of the day. But I'll do my ignorant american best in explaining it to the internet. Just a real quick side-note before we get started, though. The movie "V for Vendetta" is very strongly related to today and if you go watch it right now, it'll make it easier to explain. So I'll wait for you to get back from doing that.

...

Alright, so just in case your powers of observation aren't as good as Evey's, that movie was fictional. Or very prophetic. Guess we'll find out. That doesn't matter much, though. If you payed attention to what historical facts there actually were in the movie, you're fairly in-the-know.

Guy Fawkes wasn't as much the brains behind the operation as V was in the movie, but instead the 'trigger-man' more or less. He was also the 'fall-man'. Oh right... I guess all of you might not have watched the movie. Well, in an american nutshell: King has laws that small group doesn't like, those guys start a somewhat underground rebellion, they are all caught, Guy Fawkes ends up taking the heaviest portion of the historical blame. Oh, and he's hanged, too.

England celebrates the fact that their plot (to blow up parliament) failed by making bonfires, setting off fireworks, and burning Guy Fawkes' effigy. Children make their own Guys out of pillowcases and whatnot and take them around saying "Penny for the Guy?" in hopes of getting money to buy their own fireworks to set off.

While I, being in America, realize that building a bonfire, setting off fireworks, and burning effigies by myself will get me put in jail no matter how into obscure holidays and European culture the judges in my local area are. Instead I settle for watching V for Vendetta and eating a candy Bo-Bomb with strawberry flavored gunpowder in it.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 4, 2011

Do You Want To Wait Forever?



Today is Waiting For The Barbarians Day! Today's holiday is related to (according to the internet), the book by J.M. Coetzee titled, oddly enough: Waiting for the Barbarians. Having never read this book or even heard about it before, and also having believed that anything with the word 'barbarian' in it is very unlikely to have anything to do with any kind of written literature; I was sorely unprepared for today. I also am sorely afraid I used that semicolon incorrectly. The basic gist of the story is: People living fairly peacefully, new government people come and claim ensuing barbarian attack, government people go out of their way to find and torture/kill barbarians, people end up evacuating the city out of fear of the barbarians, and finally: (SPOILER ALERT! SCROLL DOWN TO NOT SPOIL BOOK!) The barbarians never come because they never were going to, and the town is unprepared for winter.

I can't REALLY see how that can translate into a celebration I could easily pull off without creating my own society and then hoping my government becomes corrupt enough to try such a tactic. What I CAN do is watch Conan the Barbarian. So... Barbarian HOOOOOOOO! ... Conan didn't have a catchphrase for me to yell.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wives & Sandwiches

Today is a pretty hilarious combo of days, if I do say so myself. It's right up there with the "Sock" days from May. No doubt many of you will crack some jokes at today's coincidental (?) celebration combination. I count myself in that number of people as well.



Today's first holiday is Housewives' Day! A holiday created to acknowledge and celebrate all the hard work that a wife does to make a house into a home. What better way to acknowledge all that work by taking it on yourself to do it instead? Although, you might do it wrong and she'll just have to fix it later, I'm sure the gesture will be appreciated. I mean it seems pretty easy when you do it, but you don't realize that they also do it every day! And the kid isn't as easy to deal with as you'd think when you're with them all day! And boy oh boy does hilarity ensue when you forget your daughter at ballet practice. At least that's what sitcoms paint this picture to be like. (Author's note: I'm not married)



Today is also Sandwich Day! Sandwiches are the best thing since sliced bread. In fact, without sliced bread, there wouldn't be such a thing. Luckily for humans, we have someone to thank: John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. While the concept belongs to him, the inventor was his servant, who was told to put meat between bread and deliver it to him while he was gambling. That way, he had one hand to hold his meal in, and one hand to hold his hand in. He also did other things in his time as the Earl, but... I mean you really can't beat coming up with the idea for sandwich.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

R.I.P.

Today is Plan Your Epitaph Day! You might be thinking "Well, that's a little morbid, isn't it?". Well, I disagree. I think it's pretty important to have something so set in stone (haha) planned in advance. Besides, your planning the epitaph, not the actual death. Which WOULD be morbid. These are the few words that will instigate a specific image of you to your loved ones that you out-live, and it will tell what strangers see your grave what very little they will know about you. If I were to pick something I want my grace to say, it would either be something original and memorable. "Traveled the world, off to another one." ... I want to travel the world. I'll hire a writer for it, though because that was kind of cheesy.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'll Stick To Salt

Today is National Vinegar Day! I'm not the biggest fan of vinegar. In fact I'm probably an average non-fan of vinegar. Something about it's overpowering odor and taste just really turn my tastes buds off. Or it makes them wish they could anyway. It overpowers the flavors of whatever it's on, and that, to me, is just a horrible thing to do. In the spirit, though, I will force down some chips with vinegar. Wish I had french fries to work with, but hey you can't always get what ya want. But if you try sometimes. Well you just might find... vinegar is just as bad a you remember it being.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, October 31, 2011

Magic Minds

Today is National Magic Day! Today is a day in honor of Harry Houdini, who was arguably the best magician to ever had lived. He died on Halloween day in 1926, and ever since, he has been remembered every year at Halloween. You can celebrate today by studying up on tricks and illusions that were from Harry's personal repertoire, which can be found quite easily online. Or you can just dress up as him for Halloween. I have to warn you though, if you dress as him, you should study some tricks anyway. People will ask for tricks once they realize who you are. You don't want to have no aces up your sleeve. Literally.

Today is also Increase Your Psychic Powers Day! Sorry to those not fortunate enough to be at least a little psychic. To the rest of the people, today is the day to polish your brains and make sure you aren't losing your touch. More than that, it's the day to get better. See how many of your friend's sentences you can finish, or try to guess who just texted you before you look at the phone. ... Those are really the only methods of practice I know. Just goes to show that we all need to work a little harder at it. After all, if everyone would just be psychic... Actually that would make things really boring. Maybe we shouldn't push for that.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Candy Lies



Today is Candy Corn Day! A lot of people get excited about candy corn for reasons unbeknownst to me. Candy corn takes the names of two delicious things that shouldn't be put together, and ruins them both as individuals and a team. Candy is good. Corn is good. Candy corn tastes like someone used the leftover wax from the previous year's fall candles, but took all the flavor out and replaced it with wet chalk. ... I'm not the biggest fan of candy corn. But, since it's a holiday, I will eat one. ONE piece of candy corn. Other than that, I'll TRY to have a good day.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sans Claws



Today is Hermit Day! When I think "Hermit", I immediately think "crabs". No, not because I think all hermits are diseased. It's because of Hermit Crabs. Because of this connection in my brain, I start thinking about the beach, and by the time someone says "No, just a hermit. Like a really reclusive kind of person." I can think of nothing but sandy places, so most hermits are visualized as beach dwellers by my mind's eye. Which doesn't make sense, really, since beaches are usually very populated. So the logical portion of my mind takes over and puts him (hermits are always male in my mind) on a small island near a crowded beach, but not close enough to really be a part of the crowd at all. It has to be near the beach because if it's just an island in the middle of nowhere, he isn't a hermit. He's just stranded.

My weird thought processes aside, you can celebrate today by being reclusive! This is actually something I excel at. Being a phlegmatic, I can handle hours and hours of being alone. I have an interesting mind with odd thought patterns to entertain myself with. As you should very well know by now.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, October 28, 2011

Chocolate Plush



Today is Plush Animal Lover's Day! Pretty simple. Today is a day to love on your favorite plush animal. almost everyone I know has some kind of plush animal or toy. They can usually be seen on or near their bed, so thats a good place to start looking if you have misplaced yours. Or if it went on an adventure of it's own free will. They tend to do that, you know.

Today is also Chocolate Day! Ah, a chocolate oriented day once again. As full of these food holidays as I can get, I always have room for another chocolate day. In fact, they are the only holidays that I have marked on a real-life, no-joking, honest-to-goodness, PAPER calendar. Take some time out of your day to enjoy some chocolate. Or if you're like me, you'll have to set aside some of your time to enjoy some of the day in the middle of all your chocolate consumption.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Plath's Path

Today is Sylvia Plath Day! I'll be the first to admit that I know very, very little about Sylvia Plath aside from the fact that there were some major tragedies in her life. She was a writer, and wrote many poems and works that went on to receive awards, and her style can still be seen in some of her children's works. Her death was surrounded with a lot of controversy involving her husband allegedly trying to control her estate for his own profit, but I won't get into that. Mainly because I try to make it a point to not talk about things I'm not knowledgable about. You can take some time out of your day today to read some of her poems, or study up on her history as an artist and what influence she had on that area of life.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Stubborn old' Thing

Today is Mule Day! Have you ever had to deal with a mule? The stubborn, unyielding attitude and the vacant expression that they stare into your soul with? ... Yeah me either. However, I did have to push a bone-dry car to the gas station today. I'm not sure if that makes me the mule for pushing/pulling, or if my car is the mule for being a stubborn, slow thing that didn't help at all.

... Mules aren't actually all that bad. In fact, there is actually a four day celebration in Columbia, Tennessee. You can celebrate by taking a road trip there as joining the festivities! I would, too, but... Y'know... The whole "no gas" issue is a hindrance.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Stickin' it to the man.

Today is Punk For A Day Day! I find it odd that there would be such a day, as the desire to be 'punk' was never really universally high. I also find it funny that it's "Punk For A Day... Day"... seems kind of redundant. Regardless, if there ever were a day to be a punk, today is it. So be a punk to the best of your ability. I may so far be failing, seeing as I'm wearing M&M pants and a bright red t-shirt. ... Actually Punks like red, right? It's usually the color they paint things on their walls anyway. Not that punks are the only ones who participate in 'tagging' public property. They are a major contributor, though... The more I think about it, the less 'punk' I am, I think. So...

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, October 24, 2011

Every Day of Elementary



Today is National Bologna Day! Not 'baloney'. 'Bologna'. There IS a difference. One is meat, and one is just a bunch of talk. Today is about the meat one! You don't even WANT to know how many times I ate bologna in my life. It was pretty much a staple of my dietary menu up until the time when I was tall enough to reach all the shelves in the pantry, and smart enough to make my own healthy meal. Well... at least smart enough to not be seen when I made unhealthy meals.

Bologna is one of the most widely-used sandwich meats, believe it or not. But why not? It's made of beef, pork, and etcetera! Not to mention how easy it is to make a sandwich out of. Bread+bologna+mustard+bread = Done! So go and enjoy yourself some bologna today!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I Made You Avocado




Today is National Mole Day! No, it's not for the animal. It's not for that weird thing growing on your back, either. It's based off of Avogadro's Number. You may remember Avogadro's Number from high school chemistry as being (6.02 x 10^23), or you may be more like me: simply remembering his name vaguely because it sounds like 'Avocado' and that was more entertaining to you at the time.

Well, the number is used as a unit to measure the atomic mass of a molecule. The actual would look like this: 602,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Or you could say 'Six hundred and two sextillion". Frankly neither is very efficient, which is why there's a shorthand for writing such large numbers, and why every scientist should rename every important number after a notable figure. How much easier is it to say 'Avogadro's Number'?

It's celebrated today because of the 10^23 (It's like 10/23). Celebrate today by finding the atomic mass of all the molecules in an avocado. That seems fitting.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Aw Nuts

Today is National Nut Day! Today is a day to simply enjoy, consume, and appreciate nuts. Not necessarily in that order. There are a lot of nuts out there for you to try, from chestnuts to red bopple nuts. Although bopple nuts aren't usually eaten... they CAN be. They're related to the macadamia for what that's worth. It's usually just an ornament, though. Whatever you do, don't you even THINK about letting peanuts in on this holiday. They're legumes. They just pretend to be nuts. ... posers.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, October 21, 2011

Babbwing Bwog

Today is Babbling Day! I originally saw today and thought that it was basically the same as 'rambling', but unfortunately for me (fortunately for you), it isn't. Babbling is the kind of talking that babies do, which some would argue is none at all. They just make coos and gurgles. So, I've devised several ways to celebrate today.

Celebration Method #1

Find a baby (preferably one with parents you have met at least once before), and talk to it. Try to decipher what it's trying to say. This method obviously increases in difficulty as the babies you are talking with get younger. ...Er... the babies shouldn't be getting younger unless you know the Button family. I'll just trust you know what I meant.

Celebration Method #2


You could find your very closet friend and talk to them all day using only noises. They don't have to be loud or obtrusive noises. Most good friends can read so deep into the meaning of even an eye twitch, that making a noise is almost like spelling it out for them.

Celebration Method #3


Talk to everyone as if they were a baby. This could be the riskiest method, as not only would you weird everyone out, you would also offend the vast majority of them. Most people don't take kindly to being talked to in baby-talk. For some reason it makes them feel like their being talk down to? But I'm not. I just tink deir sho precioush twying so hawd to figuwe out deir wittle pwoblwms!


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Spirited Day

Today is National Brandied Fruit Day! Brandied fruit is a mainly European treat for the autumnal and winter..al holidays. It's fruit kept in brandy for around 3 weeks, giving time for the fruit to absorb the brandy and take on it's flavor. The nice lady at the store told me that brandy is sweeter, and would thusly make a good addition to fruit. However, they also had no brandied fruit, because it's mainly used for holidays such as christmas. So instead, I bought some "Spirited Peaches", which were in an almond liquor. I chopped them up finely... TOO finely, actually. It turned into somewhat of a jam rather than actual peaches. Unhindered by my mistakes, I bravely carried on and put them in crispy, little sweetbread cups and topped it with crumbled almond cinnamon cookies. Turned out pretty good, although I do think it would have been better had I not obliterated the peaches as much as I did. Probably shouldn't have used a food processor, but... live and learn.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Yearly Review

Today is Evaluate Your Life Day! In order to properly celebrate today in accordance with also blogging about it, I have reviewed all my previous blog posts so far this year. There is one thing, well... Several things i noticed. One thing in particular that stuck out, though. The first posts of my blog were so full of optimism and excitement, and I was happy when food holidays came around! Now every food holiday taunts at me and my full belly. So, having reviewed my old posts, evaluated my current ones, and compared the two, I have resolved to make my blog better than it is and has been. I will research like I did at the beginning, calling state counsels and asking how to celebrate their local holidays rather than my recent method of googling. More than that, I have a job and can now afford to spend money on the holidays themselves, so I will try to travel like I used to. To museums, parks, libraries, and more! This blog is gonna go places!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

No Scruffy Stuff



Today is No Beard Day! That's right, if you have even the slightest of beards, today is the day to stop having it. Maybe all you have is 5 o'clock shadow, or maybe you've completely forgotten what your chin even looked like. Regardless of the situation, today is the day to shave it all off. Now, some might say that sideburns and moustaches don't count. So for all of our convenience, I've found a simple beard recognition tutorial video for us all to watch.

Hopefully everything is all cleared up now.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, October 17, 2011

Good Gaudy!



Today is Wear Something Gaudy Day! For those of you as unchangeably intertwined with all things nostalgic as I am, you may recall that the character Larry Dallas from Three's Company invented this holiday. I tried to research which episode it was (re-watching the episodes would take more than a day), but I couldn't find it! Not even a clip! Well, at least the title of the day spells out what to do. Find something gaudy in your closet and wear it today. If you already wear gaudy things (The first step is admitting it), wear even MORE!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Quotidian, Festive Occasions: Chronicled



Today is Dictionary Day! This day is tribute to Noah Webster, who is considered to be the Father of the American Dictionary. Allot time from your itinerary and dedicate it to ameliorate your vocabulary. Be careful, though, or you might end up with a sentence that doesn't sound quite right (like the one before this one). Sure, you can use big fancy words, but does the sentence really flow? Simply knowing the meaning of a word doesn't grant you the ability to use it wherever it replaces a shorter word with the same meaning. Spend time learning the history behind a word, and you may find that it's application in the language is actually quite specific. Today's challenge is to add at least one word into your vocabulary that you can use often. My word of choice is: Growlery. It's a word that Charles Dickens apparently coined for a place that one goes when in an ill temper. So it will be a useful word to use whenever I have the mulligrubs.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Why the Change?

Today is White Cane Safety Day! It was recently renamed by Obama to be Blind Americans Equality Day, but that sounds much less cool. It also seems a wee bit cheesy to me. With White Cane Safety Day, it's a little mysterious and made me want to look into it more, because i didn't fully understand what it meant. When I found out what it meant, I thought it was awesome BECAUSE it didn't just spell out the holiday for you, and it didn't overtly call a group of people out. Blind Americans Equality Day just seems too obvious. Honestly, I wish they kept it at the original. Oh, well. Take today to be aware and possibly even research blindness. There are actually quite a few interesting facts out there.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, October 14, 2011

Sweet Freedom Eggs



Today is National Dessert Day! Finally, a food holiday I can appreciate. I have a major sweet tooth and a high metabolism, which allows me to fully enjoy a good dessert with little to no consequence. That may not last forever, so I plan to take advantage while I can. I know there have been many dessert related holidays in the past, but some have just been TOO specific for me to fully appreciate. Today is vague enough to allow me to choose completely what desserts I will have. So far I've had cookies, a brownie, half a cupcake, strawberry cheesecake jello, a popsicle, and some gummy bears. Gummy bears wouldn't usually be considered a dessert, I realize, but I did eat them right after dinner, so I should at least get half points.

Today is also Be Bald and Free Day! Bald people sure do become the butt of the joke more often than most other hairstyle havers do. In fact, it's debatable whether or not bald IS a hairstyle, or whether you simply are bald (the other option would be a shaved head, which is a hairstyle). Bald people are so commonly made fun of, that it's even in the Bible! Of course, the people doing the fun-making there got attacked by a bear for being so rude. Just goes to show that you shouldn't make fun of baldies. Today is a day for bald people to take pleasure in the fact that they waste no time or money worrying about getting hair cuts, having bad hair days, or spending money on shampoos. Although I hope they still wash their head...

Today is ALSO World Egg Day! The almighty egg has it's very own day today. Make something with egg in it to celebrate! And don't cheap out by saying that most things DO call for egg. Make something egg related. Like an omelette or an egg casserole! Don't be afraid to celebrate Egg Day and Dessert Day together, though. I don't know how you could do all three days at once, though. Unless you're bald... then you're pretty much set.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I dunno about all this...

Today is International Skeptics Day! If you're wondering just how true that is, then today is the day for you! I'm not a very big fan of being TOO skeptical myself, although it does have it's uses. A very, very common mistake that is made is the assumption that being skeptical means you don't believe in anything. That is not true. It simply means you are more cautious about what you do simply believe as fact. In other words, not being too gullible. However, since today IS International Skeptics Day, feel free to take today to be extremely skeptic about everything. Just don't make it a habit. Being too skeptical just makes you paranoid. Plus, people will start calling you "that guy". Nobody wants to be that guy.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

ARGH!



Today is International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day! Ever had one of those days? Or maybe a long time filled with those days? Well, today is your day to have your moment to scream out that frustration. Don't grunt or groan. That won't give you the full effect. Take the deepest breath you can, and really use that diaphragm to let out a nice, long scream. It might help to clear your throat or drink something hot first to make sure your esophagus is unblocked. That way you'll get your dollars worth of this cathartic day.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Party Time!

Today is It's My Party Day! You can cry if you want to, but just make sure you get a party started today. Most importantly, make it YOUR party. Send out invitations inviting people to your party, and explain to them that it is your party. That way they know it's your party. You can throw whatever kind of party you want. Birthday, Dinner, Bachelor/ette, Engagement, Christmas, Retirement... it's all fair game. I had a cheap-as-free online party with a few of my friends today, and I highly recommend it. It's easy, free, and there is no obligation to go out and buy anything. Not that there should be anyway. After all, it is YOUR party.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, October 10, 2011

Tempting...

Today is Angel Food Cake Day! Angel Food Cake isn't a cake made of angel food, so why the odd name? It's actually named solely based on how light and fluffy the cake is. It's a spongecake, so it's literally much lighter than most cakes. It's also better for you than most cakes. There IS an alternate to this cake called Devil's Food Cake, which is a much thicker, heavier, butter-based chocolate cake. But I think can trust all my viewers to stay strong and only eat Angel Food Cake today. Right?

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Moldy Mold

Today is Moldy Cheese Day! All cheese is kind of moldy, seeing as that's pretty much how it's made. The moldiest, yet still available at the store, kind of cheese that is within my price range is bleu cheese. I have known for a long time that I hate blue cheese. I was reminded of it today. Some people think it's good, but I'll never understand why. Whatever your excuse, have fun eating it today. Just... Not near me. Bleh.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, October 8, 2011

You're it.

Today is American Tag Day! I don't know if this holiday is saying that it's an American holiday, of if there is a version of tag called "American Tag" that I'm just completely unaware of. I'm going to assume that it's the first one, because the internet has nothing researchable for "American version of tag". Nothing useful anyway. There are several versions of tag you can play today, though. Touch Tag, Freeze Tag, Laser Tag, Octopus Tag, and even grown ups can play thanks to Phone Tag! So find some extra time today to play a quick game of tag with someone. Once you start, other people will join and soon we'll have a world-wide game of tag! Hopefully it doesn't escalate, though. That's called war.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, October 7, 2011

A Frappe for Frappe's Sake.



Today is National Frappe Day! Did you know that frappes used to be ice cream drinks? No, really, it's true. REALLY! Well, fine. The starbucks addicts may not believe me, but the rest of you can. It wasn't until fairly recently that the popular flavors of frappes even involved coffee at all. Some places still stick to ice cream, and if you wanted to be historically accurate, that would be the kind to get today. If not, then get any frappe from starbucks. Go right on ahead. They're pretty much all good. I think I'm actually going to make my own today, though. No, not at work where all the supplies are so readily waiting to be mixed. I'm going to try to look up a few recipes and make my own cool recipe. If it's good, then I may post how I made it and you can try it yourself. If it isn't good, then we won't ever speak of it again. Deal? Deal.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

[UPDATE!]
After minutes upon minutes of finding a recipe online and changing it according to what I had at home, I've made a frappe!

PUMPKIN PIE STYLE!


Pay no attention to the nasty looking, used mixing supplies. The cup is what counts. Er... more accurately: what's in the cup. Delicious pumpkin pie goodness. Holiday: Successfully celebrated.

Seriously, Take It.

Today is Come-and-Take-It Day! Today celebrates the day that the first shot of the Texas Revolution was fired. Which is weird, because the first shot was fired on October 2, 1835. The town of Gonzales, Texas actually holds a festival for today every year. You can celebrate today by having a "Come and take it" attitude. I'm using my "Come and take it" attitude to say "Please, dentist, come and take away this excruciating toothache that has woken me up at 2 in the morning. The only good side of which is that it reminded me that I forgot to update this blog on time. Only two hours off, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Pay it forward

Today is the National Do Something Nice Day! Today is a day to do ... Something nice. Whether it be donating money to the charity of your choice, or something as simple as picking a piece of trash off of the ground. There are quite literally millions of nice things you could do, and even more ways to do them. So put on a big ol' smile, go out there, and do something nice! ... Dial the smile down a bit, you're starting to creep me out.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

October Fore!...th



Today is National Golf Day! This is actually a very well-timed holiday in my opinion. Fall is on it's way and it isn't melt-your-face-off hot outside anymore. It's the perfect time to be on the green. Or the beach, depending on how well you play the game. I remember taking golf lessons as a young child with my older brother. One of my favorite parts about golfing is the golf cart. That should tell you a little bit about how good of a golfer I was. Although I DO have a trophy that I won with my grandpa in a tournament. Looking back on how I scored, I think he fudged the numbers a little bit. Still, this gold-painted plastic man swinging at nothing with nothing (his golf club broke off within the week) will always remind me of the time I played golf with an honest-to-goodness golfer's glove on my hand. ... That... that was a big deal to me for some reason.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, October 3, 2011

H$(aAppppie Viiiii [F4T4L 3RR0R}

Today is Virus Appreciation Day! Whether we are talking about human or computer sickness is a little bit sketchy, but either way it's the perfect day to celebrate them. Well... maybe not celebrate... but "appreciate". Viruses are a very bad thing to have as a person, as it could shorten or even end your life. Computer viruses are less of a threat, since at best, they'll just make your social life slightly more difficult. Very, very slightly. Be especially aware of viruses like the flu, since it's in season now and it's starting to catch on. As for the computers... just get some virus protection... or just don't go to sketchy websites. Actually, don't go on the internet at all. Problem solved. Unless you have a hacker friend who likes pranking you. Then the only course of action is to learn some coding skills and retaliate.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Ella Lancer



Today is Name Your Car Day! If your car doesn't have a name, today is the day to give it one. I'm frankly surprised that you've gone this long without doing so! I named my car within a week of obtaining it. My car's name is Ella. I knew that once I got the car, that it had a love for speed and sharp turns, but it also hated getting too dirty or being in the rain. So, I had my friends try to help me find a good name for her. (I found out it was a 'her' by the songs it played from the selection that I gave it). One of my friends said that, since it was a yellow car, I should name it "Cinderella" because "Cinderella dressed in yella". I had two things to say about that: First of all, Belle wore a yellow dress and Cinderella wore blue. Secondly, that name is too princess-ish for how tomboyish my car was. So we settled on halving the name to just "Ella", which sounds more rough and tumble. Also, calling it "Cinder" would have just been weird.

So name your car today if you haven't! Make sure it fits it's personality, too. Otherwise, it may dislike you. You'll know if your car dislikes you or not.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Goin' Green...ish



Today is World Vegetarian Day! Vegetarians, as you are undoubtedly aware eat vegetables exclusively. They are the Apatosaurus of the human species. Well, without the long neck... usually. Whether they do so for their health, their ethical ideals, or just be a vegetarian for the sake of being one, today is a day to find out a little bit more about why your friendly neighborhood vegetarian has chosen to be vegetarian. You might even find a few reasons to go vegetarian yourself. Maybe. I really like bacon, so... I may just be vegetarian today.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Happy Belated!

I'm a little late due to workin' the late shift, but...

Yesterday was National Mud Pack Day! A mud pack is something that spas offer as a kind of facial mask to help make ya look all perdy. These days, the mud has been all but replaced by a variety of other natural ingredients all brewed together from a recipe of the spa's own design. Girls or guys can get it, so feel free to be unashamed of getting one, dudes. I can't afford one, though, so I'll just put my face in some mud. Just kidding. Mud doesn't exist in my city right now due to lack of rain. I did get some flour all over my shoes, though! ... It didn't make them look any younger, unfortunately.



Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Blogaccino



"Today is National Coffee Day!" Is what I would say if you all didn't already know. I've had about 5 or 6 texts today asking "Is today really national coffee day?!" It's almost like they were all hopped up on somethi- ... oh right... coffee. Well, I guess it does make it a lot easier on me, because you all have already celebrated. I have to finish writing this before my coffee gets old. Although I can't decide how I'd like it. Hot? Iced? Black? Cream? Sugar? I don't want to wreck the holiday by drinking a bad cup!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Today is Stupid





Today is Ask a Stupid Question Day! You may be asking: "Kyle, how do I celebrate Ask a Stupid Question Day?" Well, don't worry, because you already have. Just by asking me that! The entire idiom today is referring to is "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

The day was created in the 80's by teachers who wanted the children to be more comfortable asking questions in class, since the 80's were when children started noticing how dumb their questions could be sometimes
because some children were uncomfortable asking stupid things, knowing that others would point and laugh 
because the teachers wanted to have more stories about the dumb kids in class to share in the lounge
because the teachers knew that peer pressure was causing some of the children in class to withhold some of their questions, which wasn't conducive to a learning atmosphere.

You can celebrate today by asking all the stupid questions you want! Some might say "There is no such thing as a stupid question". However, there is! If you've been anywhere ever, you know this for a fact. I'm not saying that the person asking the question is stupid, but the question definitely is. Now, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they hadn't thought it through quite as much as they should have, but today is a free pass to ask before you think! I'm not here to judge. Unless I'm judging how stupid your question is... but I won't judge you. Unless you wear an "I'm with Stupid" shirt. That means that you're stupid enough to hang out with stupid people often enough to wear a t-shirt in order to warn people... and I might judge you for that a little.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Crushing Crushes



Today is Crush a Can Day! There's something addictive and fun about crushing a can. Whether it be crushed by hand or by foot, the only disappointing part is that you can really only do it once. Well, unless you empty a lot of cans, of course. I know that I rarely ever throw away a coke can that I haven't crushed, because it's such a deeply set habit I've made for myself. It's like a one-use-only stress ball that makes a cooler noise. Today is a pretty easy one to celebrate, too. Simply make sure to crush your fair share of cans today. Just try not to cut your hand... or foot if you do it barefoot.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, September 26, 2011

Triple Threat!

Today is National Good Neighbor Day! You can spend today by either actively being good, or passively not bothering your neighbor to death! It really depends on what kind of neighbor you already are. OR you can take the even more dangerous SUPER-active route, and instead of letting your neighbor borrow a cup of sugar, pre-emptively strike and give them a cup of sugar randomly! It'll be good fun.

Today is also National Pancakes Day! Pancakes are delicious and sometimes even nutritious. You usually eat them for breakfast, although you can really eat it anytime you want! Because gosh darn it, I'm an adult and I can eat whatever I so please! Sorry to all the kids who aren't as free in the culinary areas of their life, but I bet your parents will make you some if you ask real nice. Pro tip: Make a pouty face. Bonus points for quivering bottom lips and/or crocodile tears. (Sorry to the parents whose children may follow this advice and cry at you until you make them pancakes.)

Today is also Johnny Appleseed Day (Part II)! You might remember that we've already celebrated this day way back in March. That's because March 11th is when he died, and today is when he was born. Not in that order, of course. You can celebrate by spreading the story of Johnny Appleseed and how he spread trees all around the upper eastern areas of America. He was also a very religious person and donated any of the money given to him, although he rarely even accepted donations.

Bonus points to whoever makes Apple Pancakes and gives them to their neighbor.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle