Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Irish Goodbye

Prompt #14 "Describe yourself in the third person - your physical appearance and personality - as though you were a character in a book."

One of the first thing you'll notice about Kyle is how unnoticeable he is, and that he very much prefers it that way. He's always had what could be loosely called a talent for entering or exiting a room without others noticing. He's the kind person that will be almost directly behind you when you ask where he is. It's not with ill intent or impish pride that he does this, most of the time, it's just how things work. He's an observer more than a participant. He'll usually know more about you than you know about him, although he may call you by the wrong name. Due to his going unnoticed, he usually hears more than you think he does, and definitely more than he cares to.

His clothing these days is made of any combination of shirts from different colleges, a well-worn jacket, work clothes, and a button-up (if it's Sunday). He would 'dress to impress' if 'cords I can afford' didn't override that desire almost all of the time. He enjoys fall more than any other season, though, as he works better with layers.

He hates talking about himself. If he ever had to stand in front of a crowd and explain himself, or heaven forbid he have to put it into writing on the internet (the most permanent of permanents), he would absolutely hate every second of it.

For the most part, he can be accurately described by one of his most commonly said phrases:
"Don't worry about it."

Example Conversation with Kyle:

Your friend: "Have you seen Kyle?"
You: "He's around here somewhere."
Kyle: "Right here."
You: "Oh! See?"
Your friend: "Oh weird we walked right past him."
You. "Yeah. Ready to go, Kyle?"
Kyle: "Yep."
You: "Alright, we just need to pick our stuff up from- Oh. He's gone."
Your friend: "Wow that's creepy, how does he do that?"
Kyle: "Don't worry about it."
You & Friend: *Scream*

Monday, October 10, 2016

Glitter Time Bomb

Prompt #13 "Pick a small object to be given one day to your great-grandchild. Write a letter to that child explaining why you have chosen this object."

Dear Great-Grandson/daughter,

I do not know whether or not you have ever met me at this time, as I'm writing this letter before you are even born. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, such as:
"Why did the election of 2016 end the way it did?"
"Why were there radio and tv stations after Free World Wifi was made?"
"What's the true story about the missing island of Alaska?"
But I would be willing to wager the most pressing question on your mind is:
"Why was there a half pound of fine glitter in this letter?"

Well, kid, I know that you've probably only ever heard good things about me, but the truth is, I am not perfect. I know, I know. World-shattering. Unfortunately, one of my flaws is a desire to be remembered. Now, that isn't necessarily a bad desire. You can want to be remembered and have good reason behind it. Maybe you want to be the person that cures cancer, saves an endangered species, or invents a mosquito repellant that actually works. On the other hand, you could be a vindictive, evil person and want to create a new cancer, endanger even more species, or create a device that forces mosquitos to do your bidding.

However, for you specifically, I want to be remembered in a very particular way. See, this glitter that is covering your clothes, floor, or possibly even more if you opened this next to a fan (which would be hilarious); this glitter is going to around for a while. You'll clean it again and again and again, but it will keep coming back and you'll never know where exactly it's coming from. Cursed with glitter. For life. Always wondering why your loving Great-Grandfather would have done this to you. Good.

I want you to constantly question. Everything. Every time you see glitter in your life, think back to this advice. Keep yourself in a constant state of questions. Many of which, you will find answers to, and those answers may lead to more questions, as well. Life is a constant quest for knowledge. Knowledge gained, knowledge shared, knowledge checked. Always wonder "Why?"

And honestly, if you see glitter too often, you should reevaluate your life.

The Greatest of Grandpas: Kyle