Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Rich Legacy

Today is National Honesty Day! As you all know if you've been with this blog since the beginning, this daily celebration of holidays was a New Year's Resolution to make this year more exciting. Which it has done, by the way. One of my previous resolutions was to be more honest, as I was becoming too good of a liar. I don't say that in a bragging sense, but instead in the fact that I almost started believing my own lies. So I implemented total and complete honesty into my life.

This honesty had to have stipulations so that it could work in the way that I wanted.
1) All answers had to questions had to be immediately vocalized so I had no time to taint the truth with lies.
2) The truth had to be told with reckless abandon.
     a. Even if it contradicts a lie I've said in the past
     b. Even if it may not be what they want to hear
3) If the truth hurts, deliver it lightly.

There are quite a few other 'rules', but they are so very specific to my own life that telling them to you would bore, confuse, and worry you all at the same time.

I can say, however, that I am by no means perfect. I still slip up every once in a while. I am one of those people who absolutely LOVES sarcasm. While it's a joke to me, I can sometimes say it seriously enough to where others think I'm being honest with them. Granted, it's usually the gullible people, but they have a right to not be lied to, too. I guess.

When I am being successful at it, though, I can safely say that life is grand. When you aren't constantly keeping track of which parts of your life you have lied about to each individual person, there is a great removal of stress from your life. So I highly recommend Honesty. It's pretty cool.

Today is a perfect day to try it out! Go the whole day telling nothing but the truth! At first, it may be difficult, but it does get easier and it is very rewarding. If you don't want to, just watch Liar Liar. Good movie.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, April 29, 2011

Landlubber

Today is Shrimp Scampi Day! I have to say, I've always been a little confused as to what this dish entailed. I know there is definitely shrimp in it, but I've seen it with noodles, in a sandwich, or even by itself. So however YOU make shrimp scampi, go ahead and do that... I guess. I gotta be perfectly honest here: I have never had shrimp anything. Or really any kind of seafood aside from the fish & chips I had in Ireland/England/Wales. I can only assume that, judging by the places I ate them, it wasn't any particularly rare fish that I was eating. Shrimp, though: never had it. Or sushi. Or crab. Or lobster. Or whale. Or dolphin. Or tuna. You name a sea-dwelling animal, and I probably haven't had it. Maybe that will change today? I don't know. Where does one procure some shrimp scampi? Can I just make it myself? This looks like a job for... ME! To go ask my mom. She'd probably know.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Valentine's Day II

Today is Great Poetry Reading Day! Today, you should read some of the classic poems. I'm not going to put any on here for three reasons: 1) That makes it too easy for you, 2) Who am I to say what great poetry is to everyone?, 3) That may or may not be plagiarism. Don't worry, though. Every bookstore worth it's salt has a section of poetry, and every section has at least 5-10 books that are the "greatest poems of time" or some such thing. And they rarely cost more than 10 dollars. So go buy one and read poems to people today. Or yourself if you're shy.

Today is also Kiss Your Mate Day! If, like me, you don't have a mate or are uncertain you know what that means (are we talking Australian 'mate' like a buddy, or 'mate' like someone you've had a child with?), then today ranges anywhere from difficult to impossible to do. I do not have a mate right now, so I can't kiss her. I also don't generally go around kissing people willy nilly. Especially not my mates (Australian usage). Of course maybe this holiday is talking about soul-mates? But if thats the case I wish I had some advance warning. Like "Find your Soul-Mate Day"... then again, a holiday like that would put a lot of pressure on a few people. I've heard good poetry might make it easier to give/get a kiss, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Story Time

Today is Tell a Story Day! I choose: Memory based story!

Sophomore year was an uneventful year aside from a few major occurrences in between the monotony of everyday happenings. Very few of these occurrences can be easily recalled, as very few of them had evidence to their actual existence in the timeline of my life. One in particular, however, will never be erased from the annals of my high school career. It is quite literally printed into the volumes of my memory, and it shall remain there until the ink of remembrance fades. I am, of course, referring to my yearbook picture.
PICTURE DAY

It was a day like any other, and we were all heading to P.E. to continue our basketball tournament that we had been having for that week. One of my fellow classmates, Ryan, found something that should really never have any reason for being in a gym: A stethoscope. For my younger readers: That thing the doctor listens to your insides with. Some say that fate put the stethoscope in the gym that day. Others say that it was left by the drama class who had been practicing for a play the night before. The latter was more likely, as they sometimes used the small stage in the gym for plays.

Me and Ryan spent a while listening to our own heartbeats along with finding hollow spots in the wall. Soon, however, Ryan was called onto the floor to start his team's match. I went over to my other friend, Daniel, and placed the stethoscope around his neck. Why? I was a sophomore and thats how we did things. My mistake was forgetting that, like me, Daniel often became lost in his mind, and any outside influence that was able to break him out of his trance was liable to be slapped or grappled. Within a second, he had whipped it off of his neck and behind him.

I felt a little smack on my head, which was apparently more audible than I thought. He turned around while rolling his eyes. Once he saw me, however, he looked horrified and began asking over and over again if I was alright. I didn't know why and I tried to calm him saying that it only smacked me. Soon, another student, Heath, came and began asking me if I was okay with the same amount of concern. Daniel told me I was bleeding.

I touched my forehead and found out that by "bleeding" he meant that I was pouring out blood at an alarming rate. For some reason, I had a fairly calm reaction to this. I'm told I rolled my eyes, which I don't recall, but I'd buy it. I walked over to the coach, and since he wasn't looking, I said "I think I need to go to the nurse." It's important to note that I was somewhat known for trying to get out of class before, so his sigh before he looked at me was understandable.

Once he saw my face had a red racing stripe down the center, he did a double take and all but pushed me out of the gym and into the hallway saying "Go! Hurry!". I don't know why he said that since he followed me almost the whole way. As I walked I had to cup my hands beneath my head to catch all of the blood, even though some drops were making a trail behind me. Eventually my hands were too full and I just gave up, dropping the blood I had caught onto the ground. I made the halls from the gym to the nurse's station look like a scene from a horror movie. I even forgot there was blood on my hands and left hand prints on the walls and doors.

Once I got to the nurse's station, she freaked out (as my usually arrival only called for cough drops or tums). She quickly washed me off and gave me a bandage with cotton in it to last me until I got to the doctor's office. When my mom arrived she had the same reaction I did. None. I guess we both expected something like this to happen someday. She drove me to the doctor. The doctor didn't believe my story about a stethoscope being a killing tool, but I convinced her by showing her how the edge of her stethoscope matched perfectly with the length of my wound. The nurse was cracking up behind her, which actually helped me see the humour in the situation, but I couldn't laugh or really make any facial expression because it made my head bleed more. They stitched me up and sent me on my way.

I had forgotten the next day was picture day, but I honestly didn't care. I actually though it was "pretty cool" because now I have this story. Along with the proof:

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Seismic Twists

Today is Richter Scale Day! It's the birthday of the late Charles Richter, who invented earthquakes! ... I mean the Richter Scale. As we all know, the Richter Scale is used to measure how powerful earthquakes are on a scale of 0 to 9. 3-4 is usually the time people start freaking out, getting worse as the number rises. The strongest earthquake ever recorded was a 9.5 on May 22, 1960 on the coast of Chile. The weakest earthquake ever recorded doesn't have a place in any book because: who cares? Actually I do. Seems like a fact that they might ask on Jeopardy someday. Celebrate today by shakin' things up a little!

Today is also National Pretzel Day! A much more easily celebrated day, Pretzel day is also the third holiday involving bread in a row! Having fun carb counters? I know MY stomach is getting pretty sick of it. But for a nice soft pretzel or six, I will power through it! In the dark of the night around dying campfires, there are stories told of the ancient pretzel. Said to be the universe's oldest snack, it dates back to the 3-digit years A.D. They were made by the men of the cloth to look like the hands of a child folded in prayer. Yes, pretzels are epic, young ones. You should enjoy them verily. Don't be a wimp and eat those thing crunchy cracker pretzels either. No, you go find the biggest, warmest, softest, just-the-right-amount-of-saltiest pretzel you can find. Grab your favourite dip and go to town on it.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, April 25, 2011

Serious Zucchini

Today is National Zucchini Bread Day! I've never had Zucchini Bread before, but was told yesterday by a very trusted source that it is good. Even though some of the food that this friend has quite literally forced me to eat (Guacamole, Deviled Eggs) were not enjoyed by me, some (Baklava) were. However, I really can't make my mind up on this one. It may be because I went and got some pre-made at a store, or it may be that Zucchini isn't in season according to Google, but I just can't for the life of me decide whether I liked it or not. I've also never had zucchini alone before, though. I'm actually not sure if you are supposed to. I just think that may be contributing to my wavering on this decision. I'd probably eat it again... just not by itself.

Why did I take today so seriously? HAPPY NATIONAL ZUCCHINI BREAD DAY!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Swaddled Swine

Today is National Pigs in a Blanket Day! As an American, I love food. I am also a man, which means that a specific type of food I enjoy would be meat. As a southerner, I also am a fan of home-cooking and finger-food. These assumptions are all correct under common stereotypes, and may not be truthful to all Southern Northern American Man (or SNAM (Which is "Mans" backwards (Which may or not mean anything))).


All that to say that Pigs in a Blanket are one of man's best inventions since the sandwich. I say that because, if done correctly, it is basically like a tubular sandwich. Not "tubular" in the sense that it is as unto a gnarly wave to surf upon. No, I refer to it's shape. A cylinder. It's like a small, cylindrical, sandwich. It's Pig+Cheese+Bread. That's a sandwich. you may want to put lettuce or tomato or even both at once in your Swaddled Swine, but that's what we southerner's call "Fixing something that ain't broke." or "Overcomplicatin' it" or "Ruining the Pig's in a Blanket."


So keep it simple and enjoy one of the best appetizers/side dishes/party snack/Hors d'oeuvres in existence.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Lab Manual

Today is Read Me Day! After three pages of a google search (if you go past three, then you're just getting desperate), I could find just about nothing on this day. However, so few things actually use that phrasing, that I can only assume it to be a day about one thing: Read Me Files. For those of you who haven't ever installed anything on your computer, or maybe just don't look at any files that you have installed, a Read Me file is usually where the file you installed or downloaded is explained. It also might have hints on how to solve technical issues or an access code to a locker containing $1,000,000 in Mexico. So maybe next time you should read it.

Today is also World Laboratory Day! A day to celebrate all the wonderful things that happen in laboratories. Things like science. One of my favourite shows to watch as a child was Dexter's Lab, and due to this show, I now say "Laboratory" like Dexter did. I'd also like to point out that this new show "Dexter" has unrightfully taken it's place. When I say "Dexter" now, people think of murder rather than how annoying it is to have a ditzy blonde sister come into your secret lab and wreck the place. Oh, well. I'm gonna go watch a few episodes in honor of one of the greatest cartoons of my childhood.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Nobody Likes Licorice.

Today is National Jelly Bean Day! Jelly beans are perhaps a candy category all on their own. There are so many flavors that I think it has to be almost impossible for anyone to not like at least one. I know that I'm a fan of what I like to call the "Pure Flavors". Things like Orange, Cherry, Apple, or other fruits are always welcome to my mixture. I've never been a fan of Popcorn, Coconut, or even Roasted Marshmallow. I like to mix the pure flavors on my own and see what recipes make different tastes thank you very much. And so help me if I find one Licorice even touching on of mine I will flip out. That stuff is nasty and it wrecks everyone's day.

Now, all of this doesn't matter at all if it's not Jelly Belly brand, because they are the flavor masters. No other jelly bean can stand up to them. If you are planning on making your own jelly bean company, then don't. It would be a waste of money because they own the industry. Not in a bad way either. They are just that good. Their one downfall is that they keep making Licorice even though no one likes it. People who say they like it are liars. I've tried it. It isn't good at all. Stop faking it. Even the name "Licorice" tastes bad. People who call Twizzlers "Red Licorice" almost ruined Twizzlers for me.

Here's a graph I didn't make:


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Easy As ABC

Today is Kindergarten Day! A day to remember what your very first day at school was like or reminisce about those days when you were "graded" on how well you could color a cat (I got in trouble for coloring it with my gray pencil). It can also be a day to appreciate friends that you have had since that young age. Today was made because Friedrich Froebel, the creator of the very first kindergarten, was born today in the late 1700's. Kindergarten is a German word that translates into "Children's Daycare Center". Kindergarten used to be a half-day (I remember that better than most things) but now it is a whole day. This makes me happy I was in kindergarten back in the day. Not that a full day of coloring, napping, and learning one letter per week would be stressful...


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Easy Day for Twins.

Today is Lookalike Day! Today is a day to go out and find people who look like you! Whether it be that one rival school who seems to suspiciously have doubles of everyone in your class, or a celebrity look a like. I'm told that my celebrity lookalike is Jackson Rathbone, but frankly, I dunno if I see it. If you don't know who he is, He played Sokka in The Last Airbender and Jeremy in S. Darko. Those were the only movies I've seen him in. He may or may not have been in another series of movies. Alright it was Twilight. That's when it all started. Friends of mine went to see Twilight and came back with tales of how much I looked like Jasper. So really, more of a Jasper than a Jackson Rathbone. Cool last name by the way. It reminds me of Bonesaw from Spiderman. Booooooooooonesaaaaaaaaaaaw iiiiis reeeeeeady!!!! ... Sorry.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Vampire Awareness

Today is National Garlic Day! Today is a day to use garlic in and on everything you make and eat. Well, hopefully you eat it. That's the main use of garlic and if you let it just sit around, I imagine your house will begin to smell like the inside of an oven used to bake garlic bread and nothing else. This is pretty awesome timing for this holiday, as the AC in my house is broken and being fixed today. So obviously, the first thing I wanted when I woke up in my more-than-warm room was a nice warm slice of garlic bread. The warmth of the house should make the smell of the garlic travel quite nicely throughout the rooms. In all honesty, though, I do love garlic at the right time and with the right meal. It is one of my favourite flavours, although it does have the well known side-effect of slight halitosis, so you may want to have some mints on you if you plan to go to an italian restaurant today.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, April 18, 2011

Throwing Up

Today is International Jugglers Day! As everyone knows, juggling is tossing objects into the air and making sure not to drop any. I learned how to juggle using three miniature Mike and Ike boxes, but it's usually something simpler like three balls or something more dangerous like 15 flaming sabers. It can also be used for business men when they are juggling clients around their schedule, or even used for what are called "Playas" who are people who juggle people without the other people knowing for the sake of saying they can. At least thats why I assume it's done? I don't know for sure. Either way, juggling is one of those talents that has been around for an incredibly long time that still maintains it's impressiveness. It takes a lot of concentration, coordination, and strength (depending on what you juggle). It also depends heavily on showmanship. Sure you can toss any number of items into the air without dropping them, but can you make it look easy? Better yet, can you do it with ease and make it look hard? I am personally a huge fan when people throw in their own twist on juggling like this man I saw a video of a few days ago.
That's awesome.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Grate Day For Cheese

Today is National Cheeseball Day! After a quick Google Image search of the word "cheeseball", I have found out that two kinds exists. One that I knew already and thoroughly enjoy whenever possible, and one that I may have seen once in my life. The first being the light, puffed up spheres of cheesy bread with cheesy goodness sprinkled all over them. They are usually bright orange or yellow and commonly come in a big barrel shaped container. Those are addictive and I doubt I know any person who does not love them. I even know some people who hate cheese who will willingly eat them. The other kind of cheeseball seems to be some sort of large ball of cheese (go figure) surrounded with crackers on a tray. I can only assume that it's for parties that I'm obviously too cool to attend (what else can explain my never having seen one?).

If I had the choice between something that I know and love from my past that looks like this:
Or something that may be more healthy but looks like this:
I'm fairly obviously going to go for the barrel of cheeseball puffs. It's not that I judge a book by it's cover. I just judge food by how it looks. ... Alright, admittedly, that was bad taste on my part. There ARE some pretty cool looking cheeseballs that I wouldn't mind trying. They definitely get points for creativity.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Gonna Crack

Today is National Stress Awareness Day! I am currently chaperoning a drama competition, so I think I feel safe to say that I am aware of stress today. Not my stress, mind you, but I am very aware of theirs. It's hard not to be aware of a stressed teen, really. They'll remind you constantly. Not that I fault them. Today is the big day after all and I wish them luck.

Today is also Eggs Benedict Day! After having one of the more culture exposed teens on this trip explain to me what that is, it sounds pretty good! English muffin, poached eggs, possible bacon? Count me in. Too bad they don't have that as part of the hotels breakfast choices. I guess I'll settle for bacon with bacon.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, April 15, 2011

Makeing Mistkaes

Today is Rubber Eraser Day! Erasers haven't always been there for us to make our past mistakes (or at least our written ones) disappear, so today is a day to celebrate the fact that they now exist. Sure, in today's crazy age of gadgets, hoozits, and whatchamacallits, we tend to not use erasers as often because we now have text editing programs that do all sorts of tech-magic to our documents. However, if you are anything like me, then you still appreciate the feel of a pencil on paper. If you do, you probably are doubly thankful for the feel of an eraser on paper, because anyone who writes with a pencil knows that you never start writing until you are sure your eraser is at the ready. I write with mechanical pencils most of the time, and those rarely have replaceable erasers, so I've been known to just throw them away once the eraser is gone. Don't worry, I transfer the lead to a new pencil (Mechanical pencils: 1, Wood pencils: 0).

Today, write as any mistakes as you darn well please because rubber erasers are more than happy to eat your mistakes. Unless your job entails you writing quickly and accurately. Then, save the celebration for home.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Pickin' on Pecans

Today is National Pecan Day! As I have mentioned before, I'm not a huge fan of pecans. The only nuts I really like are cashews or the toffee-covered peanuts. There is one saving grace about pecans, though: Roasted Pecans. I've had them at the fair and at home, and they are quite good. They are one of the snacks that taste good fresh and warm or out of a plastic bag you've packed to snack from throughout the day. If I were to hazard a guess as to why I liked roasted pecans and not plain pecans, I would have two fairly good reasons. Those reasons, of course, are sugar and cinnamon. Sugar is just delicious and is in about everything you eat whether you like it or not. Cinnamon, however has a very distinct deliciousness to it. You can't mistake anything for cinnamon or vice versa. Put those two together and it's an amazing topping for almost anything. I know that there are other ingredients in roasted pecans (pecans for instance), but those are really the best ones.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pointing the Finger

Today is Blame Someone Else Day! This is yet another holiday which we have had before (Jan 13). It's understandable because we as humans love to point the finger at someone else. Just look at auctioneers, traffic officers, and umpires. Now, pointing the blame to someone else is not very much appreciated by anybody within view of the situation, but today is a free pass to do it anyway. Whether it's a one-time use ticket or one that lasts until midnight tonight is up to you and yours.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

P.S. I've finally taken the 5 minutes out of my day to make it possible for you to comment anonymously. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means that you shouldn't have to sign up for any accounts of any sort to comment in the text box below. For those of you who don't understand computers well enough to know what all that meant, how did you get here?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Things are Looking Up

Today is Look Up At The Sky Day! Today is a day to look up at the sky at least once to see all of the things that could happen up there. Find some clouds that look like objects or animals or see if you can take a blurry video of a frisbee and freak out the people at Area 51. If you live in a place similar to where I live, chances are that you will more than likely only see the sun. If that's the case, try not to look up the sky for too long, as you may or may not go blind. In fact, I think all of us may want to limit the time we look up at the sky today, as people may start to think that you are very crazy. It might be fun to look up just to see how many other people look up with you in an attempt to see what you're looking at, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, April 11, 2011

Studio 8

Today is Eight-Track Tape Day! 8-tracks weren't really around by the time I was born, as they were only popular in the 60's-70's. I do remember my father owning at least one of them, but I don't remember him ever having anything to play them on. It makes sense because 8-tracks were really popularized by their use in cars, and they were quickly replaced by cassette tapes. I DO remember listening to a lot of cassette tapes, and even buying a few of my own as a child. While cassettes did have a lot of problems, 8-tracks had more. So why do they get a holiday? Nostalgia. If you ever owned them, like I know my dad did, then remember the times that you did. If you still own a player, listen to them! Then tomorrow, go out and buy a newer radio. Or at least a walkman. Stop living in the past!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Pastors' Pastime

Today is Golfer's Day! How fortuitous that today would fall on a Sunday. I'm not unwilling to confess that a huge stereotype about churchgoers is that we all love golf. I'm also not unwilling to confess that I am a churchgoer who is absolutely terrible at golf (With the exception of Mario Golf). Still, golf is apparently something that people like to do for fun and profit. This absolutely baffles me for several reasons.

1. Golf is a sport not only NOT played in rain. "Perfect" conditions are a cloudless, breezeless day. Where I live, that means heat. Lots of heat. If there's one thing I don't like about heat, it's the heat.

2. Dress code. I understand that most sports have uniforms, but golf has khaki and plaid going for it. A visor if you are really pro. Not that I'm against polo shirts. I'm just against playing a sport in sweltering heat while wearing a polo shirt.

3. The waiting. If you get there at a busy time, you have to wait for someone to finish a course before you even start. If they stink, this can take a long time. A very. Long. Time.

So in summary: Golf is not for me. I haven't been in a while, but if I am ever forced to go due to some sort of business proposal meeting seminar whatever... then I'll probably just call dibs on driving the golf cart everywhere and sitting in it while the others play through. I'll put on a wrist splint and say I sprained my wrist reaching for the horizon or some business mumbo jumbo. Will I get ahead? Not that day. Will I get sunburn? Definitely not. Will my golf stats change? Don't care. Will I be suspected of drug abuse for saying weird things like that? Probably. That's why I don't work in an office.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, April 9, 2011

No Comment

Today is Winston Churchill Day! Winston had a lot going for him. He had a military and political career and served as prime minister for two non-consecutive terms. I'm sure we all studied him in school for at least a day or two, because he played some pretty major parts in some pretty major areas of history including but not limited to WWII. Today is the anniversary of the day he became an honorary U.S. citizen. An honor that I didn't know existed and has only been given to less than ten other people. Ever. So it's a pretty big deal. Today, share some fun facts about Winston with your friends and/or family. For instance: He had a stutter. A quote by him: "'No comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again."

Today is also Name Yourself Day! As none of you may remember, we have already seen a holiday almost exactly like this on February 13th. Is there a major difference? Nope. Why are there multiple holidays dedicated to changing your name? I have no idea. Either people really don't like their names (and can't decide on one to keep), or they are running from the law and are in constant need of a new identity. Either way, today is another chance to test out a new name for a day. It could be just your first name or all the names you have. If you are getting married, and are a girl, then you most likely already are changing one of your names.

Thanks for reading!
~Leonard Spencer

Friday, April 8, 2011

Possibilities

Today is All Is Ours Day! Today is a day to celebrate the things that we all share. I think the most important thing implied in the phrase would be 'potential'. This world was literally made for us and each of us have the potential to do at least one incredible thing during our lifetime. Take some time today to realize all of the things that you share with humanity along with the things that you may contribute to it. I hate to make this such a short post, but I think it might be better to keep it short and simple just like the name of the day itself.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Clean up the Chore Board

Today is No Housework Day!

Well, darn... I had planned to do SO much housework today, but my commitment to celebrating these holidays stops me from doing any at all. Today is just a day to take a break from constantly fixing or cleaning something in your house. If I were to be perfectly honest, I'm not one of those people anyway. However, I do know those people, and I can see why there would be a holiday for them to stop. It may drive you absolutely crazy to see that granola bar wrapper on the coffee table, but today you just don't pick it up. There isn't too much that could become messy in a day unless you live with the tasmanian devil, so it shouldn't be too bad I should hope. One day away from the stresses of constant cleaning. Hopefully you didn't have guests coming today.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Struck Out

Today is Sorry Charlie Day! Today is a day to reflect on the times that you have been turned down or rejected. I imagine everybody has experienced it at least once in their lives, so take the day to reflect on the time(s) that you were. Don't get too caught up in it, though. Today is a day to simply remember those times and perhaps realize that they didn't "totally ruin your life". I don't really have much else to say about this day because there really isn't much to do. I do worry slightly for whoever made the holiday, though. I have a job interview today at 1:00, so I hope I'm not rejected the opportunity to work there. It's at a bakery, which we all know is one of the best and best smelling places to work.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

All In

Today is Go For Broke Day! Today is a day to put everything you have into doing something that might earn you a very nice prize or reward. I hear this phrase used a lot in poker games or movies about poker games, but every once in a while people use it for random situations. However, in my opinion, it doesn't make much sense. Maybe I'm missing out on something but shouldn't it be something like "Go for it" or "Risk it all". Oh wait those phrases already exist. Still, "Go for Broke" makes it sound like you are going for the end result of being broke. I was under the impression that was not a desirable outcome in any life circumstance. Oh well, enough of that. Today, if there is something that you've been wanting to do, but thought of it as "too risky," it's time to put all your chips in and hold your poker face. Who knows? You could finally get that job/girlfriend/verdict you've been after for a while.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, April 4, 2011

100 Lies

Today is Tell A Lie Day! Today is a day to take the time to tell a lie. It doesn't matter how big or small of a lie it is, and it doesn't matter who you tell it to. Since This is the 100th post on my blog, I've decided to tell 100 lies. To you. Let's do this.

1. I live in Washington.
2. I drive a Nissan Cube.
3. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Law
4. I love my phone.
5. My room is the cleanest it has ever been.
6. I know who is making those noises downstairs.
7. I knew I wasn't home alone.
8. I never want to drink apple juice again, especially not right now.
9. I'm perfectly satisfied with the quality of social interaction I had this weekend.
10. I'm not going to play Zelda as soon as I'm done posting this.
11. I'm dreading a phone call I may get today.
12. It pleases me to no end to have my PC be broken.
13. I have no desire for a haircut.
14. I hate drawing.
15. I hate writing even more.
16. I hope nothing I write ever becomes published.
17. I can play guitar with the best of them.
18. I have a passionate love for the college I go to.
19. All of it's professors are top quality.
20. The constant construction on campus makes me smile.
21. College text book prices are totally understandable.
22. Return prices are fairer than ever.
23. I have never been pulled over.
24. I've gotten a ticket.
25. I've never been in a jail cell.
26. I've been put in jail.
27. I dislike baked goods.
28. Eating healthy is something I do not like trying to achieve.
29. I refuse to cook.
30. I like eating in public places.
31. I will never have room for dessert.
32. I watch T.V. constantly.
33. I'm almost never online.
34. I've gotten out of bed today.
35. I'm getting richer and richer.
36. I haven't applied anywhere for a job.
37. Every place that says they have job openings actually has job openings.
38. That doesn't anger me in the slightest.
39. The call I'm waiting on isn't job related.
40. I hope the call doesn't come anytime soon.
41. I hope the phone call is awkward if they do call.
42. I know the meaning of life.
43. I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
44. Listening to music while writing hinders my ideas.
45. I have very few ideas for stories.
46. I have far too much time to write them.
47. I have no ideas for nifty inventions/innovations.
48. I want a 3DS.
49. I do not want an iPad 2.
50. I hate musicals.
51. I hate movies.
52. I would hate to be involved in a movie.
53. I would hate to be involved in a stage play, too.
54. I would absolutely despise being a writer for a living.
55. I have no desire to see my ideas enjoyed by others.
56. I do not want to travel.
57. I do not want to move North.
58. I do not want a mansion.
59. I do not want it to have secret passageways and traps.
60. I want a new car.
61. The car I have now is in no need of a car wash.
62. Coming up with 100 lies is easier than I anticipated.
63. I'm not tempted to stop here.
64. I wouldn't say I lied about writing 100 lies.
65. That wouldn't be a lame excuse.
66. I'm a pro-wrestler.
67. I'm 100% American.
68. I think the world is a rhombus.
69. There are a lot of things I have to do today.
70. I'm a busy person.
71. I prefer using pens to pencils.
72. I prefer normal pencils to mechanical.
73. I always know what I'm about to draw when I start.
74. I am pleased with the progress I have made writing this story.
75. I have the slightest clue of how to publish writings.
76. I'm not almost convincing myself of some of these lies.
77. I do not need to use the restroom at all.
78. I'm not tempted to finish this in the restroom.
79. I am not afraid to sing in front of others.
80. I'm not afraid to speak in front of others.
81. I'm not afraid to exist in front of others.
82. This is taking a much shorter time than I anticipated.
83. I really knew what I was getting myself into.
84. I wish the posts I liked would get less views than the ones I half payed attention to.
85. I like the color of un-visited/visited links on my blog posts.
86. I'm under 21.
87. I'm older than 21.
88. Every fathomable colour of the universe is in my eyes. Except shades of brown.
89. I'm not white.
90. I dislike flavour in my food.
91. I'm not looking forward to the end of this list.
92. I'm not starving.
93. "Hungry Like The Wolf" didn't just get stuck in my head.
94. I know more than four words to "Hungry Like The Wolf".
95. I hope there is no bacon downstairs.
96. Bacon is nasty.
97. I don't miss the hamburgers from England's pubs.
98. I don't miss J2O at all.
99. I'm going to delete all of this and start over.
100. I'm going to do this again next year.

That was painful.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Workin' the Tweed

Today is Tweed Day! It's a day to wear tweed! Obviously some college professors from the 90's have an advantage on most of us because I don't know about you, but: I own absolutely no tweed. I didn't know that I didn't until I googled "tweed" and found out what it was, though. There was also a fairly (in)famous person named Boss Tweed born on this day. Judging by what wikipedia said he did, however, I don't know how or why I would want to celebrate him? I'm going to stick with celebrating the cloth. I'm sure there is some SOMEwhere in this house.

Today is also Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day! This one literally spells itself out for you, so I'm going to go ahead and assume you know what to do. But WAIT! Today is sunday and a lot of workplaces are closed anyway! Well, this is awkward... How about we tweak the meaning just a little bit. In the name of holiday spirit. Let's just not do work unless it's fun today. Sound good to you? Yeah. It does to me, too.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Today is Peanut Butter and Jelly Day!

I have been waiting for today for at least a week. Peanut Butter and Jelly is one of those combinations that completely changes your life forever. If you have not eaten a PB&J sandwich, I strongly urge you to make one today and savor it's flavor. There is just one rule for your first PB&J that you have to follow at all costs: Keep it simple!

White bread, Smooth Peanut Butter, and Grape Jelly are the ingredients you will use.

White bread: It is a simple yet time-tested bread and will not interfere with the flavours of the PB&J while still providing a very soft encasement for them

Smooth Peanut Butter: Doesn't really matter what brand, although I usually use Jiffy. You DO want smooth, though because it's a risk. For your first PB&J we want safety. Go smooth for a no-crunch, all-flavour sandwich.

Grape Jelly: This is where things get specific. You will need Welch's Grape Jelly. They are the masters of grape, so it would simply be foolish to choose another. Why Grape? It's the starter flavour. It is your base camp on the PB&J mountain. The foundation to your PB&J pyramid. Also the cement. After your first PB&J, you can take risks and venture out into strawberry or apple or what-have-you, but you will want to eat grape first so that you know you can always go back to it. And you WILL come back to it. Why Welch's? I've already told you: They know grapes better than any other jelly. I've tried other brands and it just never is as good as Welch's is. In fact I'm going to look up Welch's and email them a "Thank you for being so awesome" note.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

[EDIT]
Holy Cow! Welch's has a twitter and they are also celebrating PB&J Day! That makes them 10 times more deserving to be the J to your PB!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Pounds of Pennies

Today is One Cent Day! There is a lot that can be done with one cent. Not literally, of course. For example, you can pay a single penny for someone's thoughts. Can you even comprehend the great deal in that transaction? No. You can't. That's giving someone something that you find on the ground with no real use by itself, and trading them for their entire life. That's crazy! Granted, no one really respects the rules of the trade anymore, and some people just outright turn the offer down.

Okay, so there are a few uses for pennies out there, but most of them entail using more than one. Today being ONE Cent Day, I find it offensive that you would even think of using more. No, we're just gonna have to get creative here. I, for instance, am going to go try to get a job today so that I can say that I earn at LEAST a cent. ... That was a stretch. Sorry. Here's my favourite saying about pennies to make up for it.

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

Wait don't freak out! I know, I know. "Pounds are a measure of weight, Kyle! What does this mean?" Well, in some well-known areas of Europe, (We'll say England, for example) they have a unit of money called a 'Pound'. Crazy I know. I still don't know how to react over there when someone says "I've lost twenty pounds!" Anyway, the phrase means that you are committed to your completing an action once you've started it, no matter how much effort or consequence comes with it.

Example 1: Scenario - Guy is robbing a bank
Robber says "Give me all your money!"
Teller says "The cops are on their way and we have your face on camera!" (Dumb thing to say, btw)
Robber says "Give me that pen, too! And break it so I get most of the chain!"
Teller says "What? Why?"
Robber says "In for a penny, in for a pound!"

There is no Example 2, I'm saying that that one is funny/good enough for 9:30 in the morning. Time to go get a job! Might as well stop at a bunch of other places to see if there are openings, too. I'm fully committed to my current course of action no matter the amount of effort I might have to put forth into fully completing it. (See why they made a phrase to replace all that?)

April Fool's! That kind of was another Example... Now I'm just procrastinating.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle