Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Does this still count?

Today is Stay At Home Because You're Well Day! This is, by my interpretation: a day to stay home because you are well. However, I am not feeling well today. Usually not feeling well would cause me to stay home. But if I'm supposed to stay home if I'm well today, should I go as many places as I can today because I don't feel well? ... I don't know why I'm asking. I already am doing that. I went to work, the bank, to schedule a haircut, to starbucks, to a park, to a restaurant, and now my old high school. So... I'm saying that I'm still technically following the rules of the day, and this holiday is therefore: Celebrated.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Grab Yer Pardner

Today is Square Dance Day! A pretty self explanatory day, if you ask me. Grab a partner and do some square dancing. If you know how, that is. If not, then maybe take a class on it today? Luckily for me, I'm extremely well versed in the knowledge of a respectable amount of dancing techniques, and among those techniques is square dancing. It is, however, just knowledge at the end of the day. With very little practice, I can make no claim to being good at it. But gosh dernit if I didn't try my best. At least you won't look that weird doing it, since you need a partner to do it most of the time. When more than one person does something odd, it becomes less odd. Which is basically the history of square dancing right there.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, November 28, 2011

A Head of the Game

Today is Make Your Own Head Day! There are many crafty ways to make your own head, but having none of the supplies for sculpting, molding, or even drawing, I went with a method I found on the internet! As an added bonus, you can do it, too! So have fun creating your own abstracted version of yourself today. I'm thinking far too much with my right brain today, so it didn't come out as abstract or colorful as it could have been, but it is, at least, existent.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Point Made

Today is Pins and Needles Day! I bet you were on pins and needles wondering if I was going to update today. That was totally part of my plan and it definitely isn't because I got super distracted by random things. HISTORY TIME!

Pins and Needles Day is a holiday originally meant to celebrate the opening date of the late 1930's Broadway show Pins and Needles. It was a show written in and about the Pro-Labor movement, which you know all about from history because you were a good student and payed attention. It was written by good ol' Harold Rome* and performed by the members of the I.L.G.W.U. (International Ladies Garment Workers Union). It had 1,108 performances! That's more than a lot of other ones, but not so much anymore. It held the record for a while, though! Plus, it got a holiday named after it, so... I mean that's cool.

Today, however, people mostly celebrate today by either being on pins and needles or putting others on them. Not literally, I would hope, but... y'know. Fictionally... I guess.

Being on pins and needles is usually fun. It's the kind of stressed that gets you moving or excited without feeling anything like stress. Putting people on pins and needles is even MORE fun because it's fun to see them get excited. Doing it to someone is also one of the easiest things in the world to do, too! Wanna know how? Tune in tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 26, 2011

I want an iPad 2

Today is Shopping Reminder Day! Cleverly placed after Black Friday, this is a day to remind your friends and family about everything you want for Christmas. At least that's what I'm going to say with what little (see: no) research I've done. I can't do any right now, since I'm out at a bachelor party celebrating my brother's upcoming wedding. So... Back to that I go.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 25, 2011

I'm going with caramel apple.

For some reason, the post I wrote yesterday would not upload, so I'm going to try again today, and simply include yesterday briefly. VERY briefly.

Yesterday was Use Even If The Seal Is Broken Day, and I celebrated by eating some probably too-old stuff that was in the fridge/pantry. So far, I'm not in the hospital.

More important to today's celebration, though: Today is National Parfait Day! Another food holiday that is easy enough to celebrate. Almost every fast food restaurant has a parfait. At least the ones near me do. The only problem is I'm not sure if I want McDonald's caramel apple parfait or Dairy Queen's Peanut Buster Parfait. I better make a decision in the next 11 hours!!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Gesundheit!

Today is National Cashew Day! Out of all the nuts and nutty things in the world, cashews are probably my favorite. Actually, I'll just be confident about it and claim it a my favorite. They're much better than the others. It's a universal fact. That's why they're the first to go in a mixed nut bowl. So eat some cashews today! Easy peasy.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I Hereby Decree

Today is Start Your Own Country Day! Many people have mentioned that I've been in my own unique state for most of my life, so I guess I am overdue for an upgrade to my property. That makes today the perfect chance to do so! I hereby claim all land within 5 feet of where-ever I go to be my country. Now that may not be technically legal in most other countries, but luckily: it is in mine! Which is, in case you haven't heard, everywhere I go. The great thing about my country, though, is that it automatically assumes the laws of whatever country it is surrounded by. So for now, my country follows America's laws. It just makes the paperwork easier. Every good country needs a name, too. ... Actually every country needs a name regardless of whether it's good or not. Enough of that nonsense, my country is named... Kyleton? Wait that's a city sounding name. Let's go with Kylia. That's good. It rolls off the tongue. It also sounds like Hylia which I am totally all for.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle (King/Ambassador/Everyone of Kylia)

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hello, Liar

Today is World Hello Day! Today is celebrated by simply saying "hello" to as many people as you can. You don't have to say anything more than that, although it is considered polite to unless you are simply passing them in a hallway and want to acknowledge their existence without given them the option of filling you in on their life story. Simply greet other people today in a nice, friendly way.

Today is also False Confessions Day! You can celebrate this half of today by confessing things that are not true. I wouldn't confess to a crime if I were you, but almost anything else is fair game as long as the people you choose to confess to know you well. Otherwise, they may just take it too seriously, and all of the sudden you'll be 'that guy'. The one who claims he's a real daredevil and would totally do anything for the same adrenaline rush that you got when you totally went sledding on a black diamond slope in the Alps. Totally. You so did that.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Bluh Bluh bluh

Today is Absurdity Day! A day to be illogical, nonsensical, and just all around ridiculous. I'd like to imagine that this day is celebrated more on the mental front than on the physical. Mainly because logic occurs in the brain, not out. So be sure to make things make as little sense as possible today because that's why even people would have want do today at all together!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Sing A Sad Song

Today is Have a Bad Day Day! No. Problem. Bad days are the easiest kind of days to have. It only involves simply ignoring all the good things about the day. For a critic of basically everything I see, this is an astoundingly easy thing for me to do. So have yourself a bad day today, and make sure to tell others to have a bad day, too. If they don't think they can, then help them out a little in whatever way you can find. Again, though: Keep it legal out there.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Cult Classic

Today is Occult Day! The occult is something that deals with the supernatural or paranormal, and is usually cast in a none-too-positive light. I find it hi-ho-larious that the newest Twilight movie came out today, and that hi-ho-larious doesn't come up as a misspelled word. Probably due to the hyphens. I decided that the best way to celebrate... er... acknowledge today was to perform a little magic trick. And here it is. I can't say that it turned out too well for me. Let this be a lesson to all you kids. Don't mess with magic.



Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Hike In My Head

Today is Take a Hike Day! Now, there aren't many places near me that I would qualify as a genuine 'hike', as I always thought you need at least one good hill involved to no just be on a walk or a stroll. However, I did my best to find an at least somewhat bumpy path to hike on, and did! Being a complete dummy, I forgot to take any pictures or evidence whatsoever. However, since I was pretty much alone with my thoughts, I heard them quite clearly, and actually have a mental record of what I was thinking. So here is a brief look into what goes on in my head in the easiest way I could think of to do it. Script-form.

LOGIC (Pretty much the head honcho): Alright, guys, we've made it to the park. Quick check to see how everything is going. Everybody report.

DOC (Handles almost physical stuff): The stomachs still looking good thanks to the late breakfast, the neck's a little stiff from driving, though.

LOGIC: I'll have one of the interns tell the hands to get crackin' on that.

DOC: Great. The feet seem to be wondering why they aren't being covered up. The ground is still cold before noon.

LOGIC: Look, they kept complaining about shoes being too tight, so a vote was passed to forgo wearing shoes until the new ones came in the mail.

DOC: New ones have come. They're very comfy, if lacking in arch support.

LOGIC: Well, we'll have to call another meeting about that, then, he might have gotten used to going shoeless. Right now let's focus on the task at hand: Enjoying nature. EMOTICON, what's the feel out there?

EMOTICON (A robot built to process emotion (spoken in a robotic voice)): Everything looks very fresh and new with the morning dew on it. I especially like that tree that looks like a face. :) Otherwise, I'm not getting many clear observations yet.

LOGIC: Why not?

EMOTICON: It seems that the observation deck has not turned all it's systems on yet :/

LOGIC: What?

(LOGIC swivels his chair around to face SEPIA and RUSSET, who control the left and right eye respectively)

LOGIC: What's going on, you two?

SEPIA: We haven't had our coffee yet.

LOGIC: Kyle... doesn't drink coffee.

RUSSET: He doesn't, but we do. It's cliche of our character types.

LOGIC: ... Whatever. Drink some coffee then.

SEPIA: Aw, we can't imagine good coffee.

LOGIC: You've literally had a front seat to every coffee ever seen by Kyle. Do your best.

RUSSET: ...Fine

(Coffee appears and SEPIA & RUSSET drink it)

LOGIC: Alright. Anyone else have anything to report?

CHAOS (Nobody really knows what this guy does, but he's interesting, so they let him come to the meetings): Totally. Did you guys know that the Space Jam website is still up? The original one! I saw a tweet about it yesterday and thought I'd bring it up.

LOGIC: Thanks. That's great...

EMOTICON: The sunrise is so beautiful, guys.

LOGIC: It's 10:47...

EMOTICON. It was beautiful, though.

LOGIC: Good to hear. Log it into the memory files.

EMOTICONS: Well, we've seen better, to be honest.

LOGIC: Alright, well we'll just keep it on the table until it gets in the way, then.

ANXIETY (Tries to keep the brain free of clutter or duplicate ideas): Uuuuugh! The tables so full, though. Argh... I'll just throw out some character names from Chuck. He hasn't watched that show in a while.

LOGIC: I'm getting some readings of annoyance from the brain. Anyone know what the cause is?

ANXIETY: You're wel-

RUSSET (shouting across room): Yeah, there are some mosquitos out today. We're teaming up with the guys running the hands to care of it, but there's also gnats everywhere.

EMOTICON: Why do gnats always stay above the sidewalk?! >:(

LOGIC: It's fine, it's fine. We've got a good swatting method, and as long as we don't breath during the gnat clouds, we'll be fine.

SUBCONSCIOUS (Background guy): NO! I take care of breathing just fine! If you take over, he'll just hold his breath for fun again!

LOGIC: Calm down, you still have control of... is there a word for wanting to live?

SUBCONSCIOUS: You mean the thing I do when he holds his breath for too long and I make him start breathing before he passes out?

LOGIC: Yes. I don't think there's a word for that. Make a note to try to find one later.

ANXIETY: Ugh...

DOC: Oh I think I should mention that we do need to go to the bathroom.

LOGIC: It'll have to wait, he's still hiking.

DOC: Well, it's one of those times where I should have brought it up hours ago, but just found it on my desk and realized it was never taken care of.

LOGIC: (Heavy sigh) Alright, let's head back to the car.

END SCENE!

And that's how I think of my brain. There were actually a lot more subjects talked about between other people at the meeting, but I just gave you the really pertinent things.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Don't Push My Buttons

Today is Button Day! There are quite a lot of kinds of buttons in this world. Don't even get me started on sizes and shapes. Depending on the button you're talking about, it could be practical enough to hold your shirt together so as not to accidentally reveal your totally chiseled abs that you so totally have, or it could be unlabeled enough to make you wonder what would happen if you pressed it and how many of those possible consequences is pressing that button worth?

My advice: Choose what kind of button you want to celebrate today. Whether it be your favorite button-up shirt, your favorite flair from the one restaurant where the employees wear them like chainmail, or a little portable button for you to press on whenever you feel like you need to be in control. It's all fair game.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Decide, THEN Open.

Today is Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day! Some people may see the meaning of this holiday as going through your fridge and taking out any and all spoiled items, or items that you've forgotten that you had and will probably now never use. I, however, see it as meaning: Go ahead and eat all you want out of your fridge. Besides, that covers the first one in a way, too. If you eat enough, your fridge will be like new! But please don't eat that much... it isn't healthy. Unless there isn't much in your fridge to begin with. Or if it's a mini-fridge. I guess a full size fridge with a thanksgiving dinner's worth of goods could conceivably be eaten. I wouldn't, though. Someone is probably saving that for thanksgiving. Kinda early to do that, but you can discuss that with them yourself.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, November 14, 2011

Helloooooo Nurse!

Today is Operation Room Nurse Day! These are those kindly nurses that calm you down before surgery, help make sure the operation goes according to plan during, and are super nice to you after the operation and make sure you don't do anything stupid to yourself while you're still high on painkillers. They work hard to make sure that all their patients are comfortable throughout every step of their staying at the hospital. They're pretty awesome people. I mean, I can only vouch for the ones I've met, but so far they're 100% pretty dang cool. So be sure to thank any O.R. Nurses you know today. Maybe treat them to a day out on the town or just a visa gift card. Those are good gifts to get.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Well isn't that nice.

Today is World Kindness Day! It should be pretty obvious that you celebrate today by being just a generally nice person. And that's what I did! Instead of my usual cryptic insults and underhanded compliments, I strictly stuck to overhanded compliments or nothing at all. ... Thats... kind of all there really is to say on the matter.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Pie of LIES!

Today is National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day! While I ate some pizza today, it didn't have EVERYthing on it due to domino's strict 10 topping policy. So instead I hate a supreme pizza from Pizza Hut. Because I was both mad at Domino's and I wanted Taco Bell, which is connected to Pizza Hut. So there, Dominos. Try to ruin MY year of celebration. I'll take MY business elsewhere. ...I'll still pretty much always get deliveries from you, though because your pizza is awesome and personal pans from pizza hut just do not compare.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 11, 2011

It's Everywhere!





Today is Air Day! Ah... air... what would we do without it? (Don't answer that). Air is, as we all should know by now, an essential for humans. So essential in fact, that we are wired to not even think about when we use it! Breathing is a passive action that our brain does all by itself without making us worry about all the little ins and outs. There are some times when we deem it necessary to over-ride that system, though. One of the most notable ways is the deep breath. A deep breath to calm the nerves and attempt to let go of some of the stress of the moment. Today, being a very easy day for me to celebrate is my deep breath of relaxation for the month. At least in terms of the blog. I'll be taking several real-life deep breaths in the next few months.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Forget who?

Today is Forget-Me-Not Day! Today is a day to remember (not forget) people who you don't see as often as you would like. It's also a day to appreciate the forget-me-not flower. But since I'm freezing my fingers off waiting outside a store for a certain midnight release of a hopefully awesome video game. So... I'm gonna start texting people to keep me company. People who will most likely read this and then feel used. So people, I apologize in advance.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I Ramble In This Post

Today is Chaos Never Dies Day! Today is a day to recognize the fact that there will always be some small amount of chaos in your life. It sounds depressing, but believe me: it isn't. Here, let me try to explain.

Chaos is, by definition according to my dictionary, Disorder and Confusion. Now, both or those words have a fairly obvious negative connotation to them, but disorder actually means "a state of confusion". That makes Disorder somewhat of a subsection of Confusion's whole business. So let's just focus on why I'm trying to tell you that Confusion is good. Well... not 'good'... but it isn't inherently bad.

Confusion means "A lack of understanding". Now we're getting somewhere. Instead of defining Confusion by any other word that has negative connotation, we are defining it by it's lack of a word with good connotation: Understanding, which means (most pertinently) 'the power of abstract thought'.

"WHOA, Kyle. I thought Chaos was abstract thoughts and stuff like that!"

Well, you are both right and wrong. Chaos deals with abstract thoughts, but only in the way that a baby deals with it's own diaper. See, Understanding is the power of abstract thought, meaning that it is used to harness the potential of the thoughts by putting them into patterns that can be easily remembered and later turned into ideas. That way your brain doesn't have to find it's way down memory lane twice. You made a map! Chaos, being the lack of understanding, can have all the thoughts it wants, but even if thoughts correlate, a map may never be made between the two, thus making it harder to see how they ever related.

It's almost like how you may tie a string around your finger to remember to go grocery shopping. How many things does grocery shopping have in common with tying a string to your finger? Close to none. But you see that string and it reminds you that you had something to do. Instantly your brain goes through the "Things I Have To Do" File Cabinet it has until it remembers: "Grocery Shopping". Congratulations! You have re-travelled the road you subconsciously made when you connected those thoughts in the first place. In fact, thats such a common visual stimulus, that when I see a string on someone's finger, one of the first things I think is "They must be trying to remember something". Not all abstract bridges need stimuli, though. In fact, most of my own don't.

Now that I've said ALL that, here is why chaos isn't bad: It's needed to make anything interesting. If we had only Understanding, then there would be little need for studying or exploring. Chaos, in manageable amounts, is what pushes humans forward. It causes new ideas to be had due to the fact that everyone connects the abstract thoughts differently. It makes us want to learn more and gain more understanding. However, the more we discover, the more questions there are about these new, as of yet unconnected abstract thoughts created by the new discovery. That creates an endless amount of things to discover, which makes life worth exploring! Chaos and Understanding aren't at opposite ends of any spectrum, instead it's more of a ratio of what is and isn't understood. The reason that Chaos is usually shed in such a scary light is because we can quantify how much we understand, but we will never be able to measure what we don't. I personally, find that pretty exciting, though. It would be boring if we knew how much there was left to know. Would we even want to?

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Blockhead

Today is Dunce Cap Day! The Dunce Cap was invented by a man who went by the name of "John", because that was his name. John Duns Scotis thought that the cap would increase intelligence in those that seemed to lack it by allowing the knowledge to flow from the tip of the cap and trickle down onto the wearer's head. Why is knowledge flowing out of the top? I dunno. That's just weird. anyway, it kinda backfired on the people wearing it, because everyone then knew how dumb they were. And that is why the dunce cap is now seen as a symbol of low intelligence. You can celebrate by making a make-shift dunce cap and either wearing it yourself, or you can do what I did and put it on someone else.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Monday, November 7, 2011

Aw man... Almonds.



Today is National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day! Now if there's one thing I hate about chocolate, it's nuts in it. As a double whammy, the only chocolate with almonds I can find that still qualifies as bittersweet chocolate also has coconut in it. I hate coconut. "It's not the taste, it's the texture" as I'm sure you've heard a bajillion times before. The reason is because my mother gave me some coconut flavoured medicine (good call mom) even though grape medicine is as nasty as the inners of an old man's ear, os one would assume a NON-fruit medicine would be a batrillion times worse. Coconut isn't a fruit, right? Maybe it is. It's on fruit ninja... so it must be I guess. Well, I'm not correcting myself. I'm doing this LIVE! Whatever I'm just rambling to avoid eating this Almond Joy. Here goes nothing. I'll update you on how it goes.

[UPDATE]
This is dag nasty. Gotta power through, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Saxophone Island

Today is Marooned Without a Compass Day! Being marooned is bad enough, but having no compass? Well... actually that's not all that bad if you have even the most basic survival skills. Plus, I found it nearly impossible to be without a compass today. My phone had a compass, so I just didn't use that app. Simple enough. However, every street sign, building, and several landmarks had compasses or some sort of directional instructions on them. I suppose that at this point in time, we've pretty much figure out the lay of the land as a species, so this holiday, while hard to celebrate, was celebrated to the best of my ability.

Today is also Saxophone Day! Today is in honor of the birthday of Adophe Sax, who invented the Saxophone. ... In case that wasn't apparent by his name. He made a whopping 8 different kinds of saxophones in his lifetime, as a matter of fact! This holiday was significantly easier to celebrate. There are many classic songs that incorporate quite a bit of sax, along with some really recent songs, too. For some reason, the sax has become a very popular choice for alternative rock bands lately. Not that I'm complaining. Sounds good. Sounds pretty dag good.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Remember, Remember.

Today is Gunpowder Day! Also known as Guy Fawkes Day, this is a holiday(?) celebrated(?) in England. I question whether or not I should call it a holiday or say that it is celebrated due to the confusing nature of the day. But I'll do my ignorant american best in explaining it to the internet. Just a real quick side-note before we get started, though. The movie "V for Vendetta" is very strongly related to today and if you go watch it right now, it'll make it easier to explain. So I'll wait for you to get back from doing that.

...

Alright, so just in case your powers of observation aren't as good as Evey's, that movie was fictional. Or very prophetic. Guess we'll find out. That doesn't matter much, though. If you payed attention to what historical facts there actually were in the movie, you're fairly in-the-know.

Guy Fawkes wasn't as much the brains behind the operation as V was in the movie, but instead the 'trigger-man' more or less. He was also the 'fall-man'. Oh right... I guess all of you might not have watched the movie. Well, in an american nutshell: King has laws that small group doesn't like, those guys start a somewhat underground rebellion, they are all caught, Guy Fawkes ends up taking the heaviest portion of the historical blame. Oh, and he's hanged, too.

England celebrates the fact that their plot (to blow up parliament) failed by making bonfires, setting off fireworks, and burning Guy Fawkes' effigy. Children make their own Guys out of pillowcases and whatnot and take them around saying "Penny for the Guy?" in hopes of getting money to buy their own fireworks to set off.

While I, being in America, realize that building a bonfire, setting off fireworks, and burning effigies by myself will get me put in jail no matter how into obscure holidays and European culture the judges in my local area are. Instead I settle for watching V for Vendetta and eating a candy Bo-Bomb with strawberry flavored gunpowder in it.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friday, November 4, 2011

Do You Want To Wait Forever?



Today is Waiting For The Barbarians Day! Today's holiday is related to (according to the internet), the book by J.M. Coetzee titled, oddly enough: Waiting for the Barbarians. Having never read this book or even heard about it before, and also having believed that anything with the word 'barbarian' in it is very unlikely to have anything to do with any kind of written literature; I was sorely unprepared for today. I also am sorely afraid I used that semicolon incorrectly. The basic gist of the story is: People living fairly peacefully, new government people come and claim ensuing barbarian attack, government people go out of their way to find and torture/kill barbarians, people end up evacuating the city out of fear of the barbarians, and finally: (SPOILER ALERT! SCROLL DOWN TO NOT SPOIL BOOK!) The barbarians never come because they never were going to, and the town is unprepared for winter.

I can't REALLY see how that can translate into a celebration I could easily pull off without creating my own society and then hoping my government becomes corrupt enough to try such a tactic. What I CAN do is watch Conan the Barbarian. So... Barbarian HOOOOOOOO! ... Conan didn't have a catchphrase for me to yell.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wives & Sandwiches

Today is a pretty hilarious combo of days, if I do say so myself. It's right up there with the "Sock" days from May. No doubt many of you will crack some jokes at today's coincidental (?) celebration combination. I count myself in that number of people as well.



Today's first holiday is Housewives' Day! A holiday created to acknowledge and celebrate all the hard work that a wife does to make a house into a home. What better way to acknowledge all that work by taking it on yourself to do it instead? Although, you might do it wrong and she'll just have to fix it later, I'm sure the gesture will be appreciated. I mean it seems pretty easy when you do it, but you don't realize that they also do it every day! And the kid isn't as easy to deal with as you'd think when you're with them all day! And boy oh boy does hilarity ensue when you forget your daughter at ballet practice. At least that's what sitcoms paint this picture to be like. (Author's note: I'm not married)



Today is also Sandwich Day! Sandwiches are the best thing since sliced bread. In fact, without sliced bread, there wouldn't be such a thing. Luckily for humans, we have someone to thank: John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. While the concept belongs to him, the inventor was his servant, who was told to put meat between bread and deliver it to him while he was gambling. That way, he had one hand to hold his meal in, and one hand to hold his hand in. He also did other things in his time as the Earl, but... I mean you really can't beat coming up with the idea for sandwich.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

R.I.P.

Today is Plan Your Epitaph Day! You might be thinking "Well, that's a little morbid, isn't it?". Well, I disagree. I think it's pretty important to have something so set in stone (haha) planned in advance. Besides, your planning the epitaph, not the actual death. Which WOULD be morbid. These are the few words that will instigate a specific image of you to your loved ones that you out-live, and it will tell what strangers see your grave what very little they will know about you. If I were to pick something I want my grace to say, it would either be something original and memorable. "Traveled the world, off to another one." ... I want to travel the world. I'll hire a writer for it, though because that was kind of cheesy.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I'll Stick To Salt

Today is National Vinegar Day! I'm not the biggest fan of vinegar. In fact I'm probably an average non-fan of vinegar. Something about it's overpowering odor and taste just really turn my tastes buds off. Or it makes them wish they could anyway. It overpowers the flavors of whatever it's on, and that, to me, is just a horrible thing to do. In the spirit, though, I will force down some chips with vinegar. Wish I had french fries to work with, but hey you can't always get what ya want. But if you try sometimes. Well you just might find... vinegar is just as bad a you remember it being.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle