I Hereby Decree

Today is Start Your Own Country Day! Many people have mentioned that I've been in my own unique state for most of my life, so I guess I am overdue for an upgrade to my property. That makes today the perfect chance to do so! I hereby claim all land within 5 feet of where-ever I go to be my country. Now that may not be technically legal in most other countries, but luckily: it is in mine! Which is, in case you haven't heard, everywhere I go. The great thing about my country, though, is that it automatically assumes the laws of whatever country it is surrounded by. So for now, my country follows America's laws. It just makes the paperwork easier. Every good country needs a name, too. ... Actually every country needs a name regardless of whether it's good or not. Enough of that nonsense, my country is named... Kyleton? Wait that's a city sounding name. Let's go with Kylia. That's good. It rolls off the tongue. It also sounds like Hylia which I am totally all for.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle (King/Ambassador/Everyone of Kylia)

Ain't Got No Alibi

Today is Ugly Truck Day! Since I am a denizen of the southern states, I see more than my fair share of ugly trucks. The thing about ugly trucks is that they are gorgeous to their owners. Every dent, stain, scratch, hole, and animal on or in the truck is another tale of a small adventure they had out on (or off) the road. In fact, some truck owners claim to have taken their truck straight from the dealership into a field to see just how off road it could go. Trucks are, after all, known for being the tough long-lasting automobiles that stay with you as long as you can keep it running. Truck owners are more likely to own dogs since they are the more loyal pet.* That doesn't necessarily mean the the truck owner is loyal, but just that that is what they appreciate in their autos, pets, and most likely their significant others, too. That's why a lot of country songs are written about somebody the singer loved leaving them.**

* This statement may not be true, but could totally be.
** Ditto

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Twain's Twang

Today is National Country Music Day! Country Music seems to be one of those genres of music that everyone either loves or hates. A majority of music made in America has it's roots in country, though, so if you aren't careful you might find yourself liking it. Since it's also the fourth day into the month of July, country music is very likely to be played very loudly in big open fields. Or as open as a field can be with hundreds of people standing in a crowded area surrounded by grills, the sun, and later on large explosions in the sky. You might say "Won't that be hot an uncomfortable?". Yyyyep.

Today is also Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day! If you haven't read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or maybe it was just "Tom Sawyer" to you, then you probably won't get this holiday or a lot of references that people make to it on a monthly basis in the south. The brief explanation is that Tom Sawyer was painting his fence and tricked his friends into painting the fence that he had been tasked with. You can celebrate today in three easy steps.

1) Get work assigned to you.
2) Trick someone else into doing it with your wit and boyish charm
3) Take the day off.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle