Monday, May 23, 2011

Two Cents On Pennies

Today is Lucky Penny Day! Pennies aren't exactly worth what they used to be, as anybody who has ever been younger than anyone has been told constantly throughout their life. People have even talked about discontinuing them! That would be horrible! That's 1/4 of the world's good luck gone! The other 3/4 being 4-leaf clovers, rabbits feet, and horseshoes, of course. Sure, pennies don't exactly buy you candy anymore, but dimes haven't gotten me a soda lately either! So there! And what's up with arcade games being a whole dollar for one play? ...This is off-topic.

Lucky pennies are found in one place and in on manner. The ground and face-up. No, a penny with your birth year on it is not lucky just on that merit. Keepsake for a kitschy family project? Sure, but not lucky. No, a penny you find in a treasure chest isn't lucky. It's currency. By the way, your treasure hunts sound kinda weak if that's what you're pulling out of the sea. ONLY a penny found face-up on the ground is a "Lucky Penny".

You see, when a penny has charged it's luck up to a point where it feels sufficiently lucky, it jumps out of it's home in our pockets and purses in order to find it's own fortune. It lands on the ground face-up to signify to the next observant person that it is, in fact, lucky. Now, there are several ways to tell HOW lucky it is.

The first rule is: The shinier, the better. Why? Because that means it has so far been lucky enough to not run into any major troubles. with this rule comes the fact that you may just find a very young shiny penny. Those are mostly good for one lucky thing, as they were impetuous in their youth and thought themselves ready before they truly were. Hold onto them to see what small good thing happens, but don't expect too much from them, as they are a bit foolhardy. However, old shiny pennies are immensely lucky. Having obviously charged their luck for years in some sating lined wallet, they know exactly what they're doing. The danger comes when you find a scratched, worn, rusted, old penny face-up. It dares you to pick it up and accept it's challenge. Oh, sure. It's old. It's lucky. But it likes the risky road. It will make sure you DESERVE it's luck. Some of the scratches on it look almost as inhuman as Lincoln's visage on it's face. The ruins of the memorial on the back look almost apocalyptic. Sometimes, it is hard to tell whether you picked up a penny or a blackened copper disc. But what fun is luck if it falls into your lap? No, it's better to earn it. To have it thrown at you at high velocity along with a little bit of trial and a dash of fear just to see if you can handle the power of the penny! ... ...

... That got out of hand fast and I apologize.

Thanks for reading!