Thursday, August 18, 2011

Butter Bends, Right?

Today is Bad Poetry Day! I've already graced you with some of my poetry in the past, and by all technical definitions, that was bad poetry. However by my high school english teacher's definitions, it was so purposefully self-satirical that it was nothing short of brilliance. Well... she said "Good Job! 100%", but you learn to translate those sorts of things.

Today, though, I have to make up some poetry that is both technically and artistically bad. It's hard to do, since in this modern world of modern thinking, anything horrible is at risk of being labelled 'modern' and then shoved into a museum for preservation. But, I'll give it the best I have.

Here is something awesomely awful,
So much so it shouldn't be lawful.
Some of these lines will be a crawful.
Like trying to eat too many falafels.

Some might think that to make a bad verse.
You don't rhyme, forget rhythm, or curse.
My opinion is quite the inverse.
You keep the rules, but makes them perverse.

Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter.
No, you keep the guidelines, but bend them like... butter?
Stretch them and skew them until they shutter.
Just enough to make readers insanely mutter.

When you've done that, you're job is done.
Blame is sought, but in you they'll find none.
You haven't broken a rule, no not one.
Just do us a favor and steer clear of puns.

Well, there ya go. That's about as horrible as I can be at poetry. It's hard to be all that bad when you enjoy poetry and know the rules. I broke quite a few, but... I mean I kinda still like it. If you can do worse, please do so and comment with your bad poem!

Thanks for reading!