Ransom

"It says: 'If you want your children to be safe, call 985-655-2500 now!'" Bryce let his eyes linger on the paper for a few moments before looking confusedly at Sarah.

Sarah stood with eyes wide open and mouth agape "It's a ransom note?!"

Bryce caught onto the fear quickly. Unsure of whether to keep holding the note or toss it to the ground, he spoke frantically. "I- I don't know! It's so neat!"

"It's neat? You think it's neat?"

"No, I mean... not neat like 'Oh, cool!' I mean it's... it's typed up."

Sarah hesitated for a moment trying to understand what Bryce meant, giving him a look that questioned his sanity. Bryce spoke up again in his own defense. "Y'know, like, usually these things are made of magazine clippings and all wrinkly."

"Wha- usually?! How many ransom notes do you see on a daily basis?"

"You know, like ones in movies."

"Bryce! This is real life! This is a real ransom note! Obviously they aren't going to be as flashy as Hollywood!"

"Well, they had enough time to place a little picture of a crying girl on here. And look, even the crime watch signal is in the corner. What kind of weirdo does that? Is it like... his signature?"

"Bryce! Focus! There's something very wrong about this. Don't you get it?"

"Well, I guess it's just weird that it was on our car, since we don't have... a kid..."

"Right! So obviously it was meant for someone else!"

"Oh. Oh. ... OH! And if they didn't put it on their car, they don't know what number to call!"

Sarah was more frantic than ever, now that her fears had been confirmed by Bryce reaching the same conclusion she had. "Oh no, oh no, oh no, ohno-ohno-ohno!"

"No, no, no, calm down I'll just put it on the car... next to us." His last words deflated as he took notice of the cars that took the two spaces on either side of them. "I knew I should have taken the space at the end instead of one over! Then we'd know for sure who's car it belonged to. But no, you said to park one over so someone else could take the spot, that way no kids would hit the car with baseballs."

"Don't you dare blame this on me, Bryce! Someone's child is in trouble! We have bigger problems! Look, this is easy, all we do is call the police and let them know." Sarah pulled out her phone and began unlocking it before Bryce ripped it out of her hand in a swift movement.

"No, Sarah! What are you thinking?! If you call the police, who knows what they'll do to the kid? Then it'll be all our fault that the kid gets hurt!"

Sarah breaths in sharply and clasps her hands over her mouth. "You're right! You're so right. I'm sorry!"

"It's fine, don't worry, no damage done. What I think our only option is... is calling the number on the note. We'll tell them they made a mistake, then... we'll be off the hook."

"What?! First of all, I can't believe you would just do that and walk away without actually trying to help. Second of all, how is that idea any better? People don't just randomly steal kids for ransom, they only do that for families they know have money. Then, they scout them and make sure they know the family routines. So if they've done that, they'll know the parent's voices! What if they think they hired us as private detectives and we end up just making them have to pay more in the end, and get ourselves in danger?"

"Wha? And you said I was thinking too 'Hollywood'? Well, if that's not a good idea, then what is? We have to do something! We can't just drop the note on the ground and walk away like we never saw anything! It's our duty as good citizens to alert some kind of authority, or make someone else aware of this!"

Their raised voices battled back and forth for about a minute before a young looking man in business casual dress came from behind the tree line holding a large stack of crumpled papers. While the fight disconcerted him, he didn't see any reason to get involved, and put one of the small papers under the windshield wiper of the car next to theirs. Sarah noticed this happening behind Bryce, and watched as the young man continued doing the same for each of the cars in the row aside from their's and the one car separating them from the edge. Sarah walked over to one of the cars and pulled the paper out, and saw it was the same paper that had been in theirs. She took the paper from the next car down as well, and this time the young man took notice. "Hey! What are you doing with those!"

Sarah, still filled with emotion, but now very confused, shouted at the man. "What are these?!"

He responded a bit fearfully, but trying to maintain a business-like composure. "Flyers. I'm... just putting them on cars to raise awareness."

Bryce cut into the conversation "Awareness for what?"

"A start-up alarm system business I just got hired at. I'm going around town putting flyers in cars."

Bryce looked at the paper from his own car, not seeing a business name. "What business? There's no name on here!"

The young man flipped a paper from his stack, and scanned over it as his face turned a bright shade of red. "Oh, no... Oh, man, I'm gonna get so chewed out! Today stinks, man. First this whole stack gets blown away and I spend like ten minutes picking it all up, then this? I'm gonna have to reprint all of these!" He then went and took each of the flyers he had already put in cars and put them back into his disheveled stack.

Bryce and Sarah stood in silence watching this happen until he took out a key and entered the car that was acting as the buffer between theirs and the edge of the lot, tossing the stack into the back of the car and all but peeling out of the parking lot with a face as red as a tomato. They watched the car disappear as their heart rates slowed to a steady pace again. They both glanced at the incomplete flyer in Bryce's hand, then at each other with expressions unsure of whether or not they were willing to admit to what just happened. 

Bryce slowly opened his mouth to speak, but not knowing what to say, just tightened his lips and shook his head as if to shake off the confusion and disbelief, instead unlocking their car, and letting Sarah in. He closed her door, then walked around to his side and stepped in as well, handing her the flyer as he started the car. He began driving to the coffee shop they had initially planned to visit after their walk, and after a moment of looking at the flyer, Sarah began laughing heartily at what had just transpired, and Bryce soon joined in with her. They enjoyed the rest of the day, knowing that day was not one they would soon forget.

Prompt #6: "Write a story that begins with a ransom note"

It's a Nice Day.

Prompt #5: "You are an Astronaut. Describe your perfect day."

My favorite day is... actually a little corny, I guess you could say. Most people would think it's the day you get chosen for the mission, or the day you landed on the moon, or even the days it takes to go to and from. Honestly, though, I think my perfect day would have to be the day we landed back on Earth.

I mean, there's definitely something amazing about launch day. All that training that goes into that moment makes the payoff a little sweeter, and you can just feel the power in the rocket lifting you into the air. It's not enough to prepare you for what's next, though. There's this... surreal feeling as you exit the atmosphere that's almost like... leaving reality. It's the first time that you truly see the entire world in a new perspective. Then, of course, there's the obvious change of gravity. Everything is so much lighter, so weightless. You are so far away from everything you've known, that even life's stresses lose their weight. Then, being on the moon is just incredible, of course. It's such an alien landscape. Something that seems so familiar at home is this... completely different thing once you are up there. It's beautiful, but dangerous, which only lends to it's beauty, I think.

But, coming back, which is a three day trip, by the way. That's a trip unlike anything else. The last day, the arrival, is more surreal than the trip out. I remember the last hours so vividly. It was a blue canvas with splashes of green and strokes of white at first. As we got closer, though, more colors appeared. Soon, we could see yellows and reds in the deserts, then the bright outline of shores. Then we could differentiate different blues in the waters. Visually, it was like watching the world paint itself back into the pictures that we could all recognize. Physically, as we entered the atmosphere, it shook us back to reality. We were back in the familiar pull of our home's once inescapable gravity. The occasional turbulence of different pieces of our vehicle being released as our own weight came back to us. Then the parachute comes out, and we begin the slow decent. Enough time to think about everything we've done. It's hardly believable, though. Looking up at the sky and thinking 'Were we really just out there? For so long?' Not long ago, it was only being dreamed of, and that's what it seemed like. A dream.

But my favorite part of that day, bar none was after all of that. After we were picked up, and taken back, we did what we had been waiting to do for a long while. Meeting our friends and family again. Not to tell them about all the things we've seen, although we did, of course. I can't speak for my fellow travelers, of course, but my reasons were a little selfish. When I had that moment, the one where you see family after a long break, it felt the same as launch day. Seeing the smiles they had, and hugging loved ones. It all felt weightless, like all worries and troubles had been left floating somewhere far away once again. That was my favorite day.

Butter Bends, Right?

Today is Bad Poetry Day! I've already graced you with some of my poetry in the past, and by all technical definitions, that was bad poetry. However by my high school english teacher's definitions, it was so purposefully self-satirical that it was nothing short of brilliance. Well... she said "Good Job! 100%", but you learn to translate those sorts of things.


Today, though, I have to make up some poetry that is both technically and artistically bad. It's hard to do, since in this modern world of modern thinking, anything horrible is at risk of being labelled 'modern' and then shoved into a museum for preservation. But, I'll give it the best I have.

Here is something awesomely awful,
So much so it shouldn't be lawful.
Some of these lines will be a crawful.
Like trying to eat too many falafels.


Some might think that to make a bad verse.
You don't rhyme, forget rhythm, or curse.
My opinion is quite the inverse.
You keep the rules, but makes them perverse.


Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter.
No, you keep the guidelines, but bend them like... butter?
Stretch them and skew them until they shutter.
Just enough to make readers insanely mutter.


When you've done that, you're job is done.
Blame is sought, but in you they'll find none.
You haven't broken a rule, no not one.
Just do us a favor and steer clear of puns.


Well, there ya go. That's about as horrible as I can be at poetry. It's hard to be all that bad when you enjoy poetry and know the rules. I broke quite a few, but... I mean I kinda still like it. If you can do worse, please do so and comment with your bad poem!


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

She's Got Moxie.

Today is Museum Comes To Life Day! The first thing I thought of when I saw this holiday coming up on my list was think "What an excellent opportunity to watch both of the Night at the Museum movies". That is also exactly what I just got done doing. Yes, I woke up at 8, ate some breakfast, and then watched two movies in a row. In an hour, I'll go to my job. Such is the life of a college student in the summer.

The Night at the Museum movies are pretty awesome, and you'd have to admit that such an occurrence would be something that you would most definitely want to involve yourself in. Not to mention that Amy Adams (Amelia Earhart in NatM 2) is probably one of my favourite actresses of the age and I will more than willingly watch anything that she stars in. However, I'm not here to talk about how great she is.

If you haven't seen the movies, it pretty much revolves around a father's (Ben Stiller) relationship with his son (Jake Cherry) and the struggle the father goes through to fix the problems that lie within it. Oh, the father also works at a museum where everything comes to life at night because the museum holds the ancient egyptian pharaoh Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek) and his magical golden tablet. It's full of jokes, great actors, and monkeys, so you can't really go wrong. It's also family friendly, which is a big plus these days.

All the movie reviewing aside, today could be celebrated my way if you are like me and have no money, or you could go to an actual museum. I, having already been to two museums this year AND being broke, chose my way. I don't even know if there are many more museums near me that are within my budget when I DO have money. Ah well, celebrate today however you choose. As long as it's museum related. Although I do strongly recommend my way, because that Amy Adams... she is talented...

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Advanced Walking Technique #12

Today is World Sauntering Day! Sauntering is an age old art that has been learnt by many beginning walkers, but only mastered by the most agile and confident among them. To "saunter" is to walk at leisure with no particular direction, aim, or destination. It is easy to try, but hard to master for the simple reason that in this modern age, we have some task needing accomplishment at all times.

Having walked for a good amount of my life, and having set time aside when I was young to practice the trade, I am at such a level where I may be able to pass on some basic sauntering maneuvers. I am not an expert, but I am by no means a novice.

I find the first thing that absolutely must be done in order to start a true saunter, is to clear your mind of the illusion of your need to accomplish anything. This can be hard to do, so I suggest you first study in the area of Realizing How Unimportant Things Are.

Once your mind is clear of that pesky to-do list and you have literally nothing to do aside from exist, take a few steps. Keep your body relaxed and let your arms sway however they do naturally. No need to have a brisk pace, but don't go too slowly, or else you will distract yourself by concentrating too much on where your feet currently are. While it is important to know where your feet are, you shouldn't be bogged down by it.

The next key thing to do is to disconnect your mind's conscious control of your legs, and to think of nothing of particular importance. Much like your heartbeat, breathing, or blinking, your natural walk follows a pattern. If you are old enough, your walking pattern has been subconsciously imprinted into your mind so deeply, that you can walk without thinking about it. This will be hard for beginners, due to your want to learn how to saunter, it may come up in your thoughts every now and then. Do not let it.

Once you've cleared your mind and set your walk to auto-pilot, let your thoughts drift. You'll know your sauntering by the look that others give you. It will be a look comprised of disbelief in the fact that you are indeed so calm, disgust in the fact that you flaunt your calm so publicly, and the slightest hint of jealousy over your obvious freedom.

Beginners Beware! It can be easy to become lost in a saunter if you do not set into your mind certain "alarms". Perhaps use your internal clock to know when you have sauntered for long enough, or saunter until an outer event such as your ringtone or a car horn stops your saunter. Sauntering for too long is dangerous to various versions of your health. (Physical, Mental, Social, Emotional, Financial). Saunter Safely!

 Below is a picture of me with my good friends in mid-stride of a synchronized saunter.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

A Wacky Quack

Today is Donald Duck Day! Donald Duck was and is one of my major role models growing up. As a child, I perceived him as a hilarious duck with anger management issues. However, looking at him now, he feels all emotions strongly. Whether it be his flipping out at Goofy and Mickey, or his severe blushing whenever Daisy gave him a smooch. An oft misunderstood duck due to his manner of speaking, it takes a while to really know what he is trying to say, which is probably why he displays his emotions in such an incredible outward way.

My dad used to copy Donald's voice to make me and my brothers laugh when we were little, and when we were older, he tried to teach us how to do it. I wouldn't say I'm in the high ranks of experts when it comes to speaking fluent Donaldian, but I can tackle the smaller phrases such as "I love you" or "Pass the salt" or really anything 3-7 words long. His ranting is by far the easiest to do as it is sometimes just whatever syllables he can manage to push through his fury.

Overall, though, Donald Duck is one of the most beloved and memorable characters in all of Disney history. Today is the anniversary of the first day he appeared on screen in 1934 (Also his birthday)! He certainly has aged very well, and to celebrate, you should watch some of Donald's greatest works (I'll leave it to you to decide which those are) or his original cartoon "The Wise Hen".

You could also try to learn how to speak like he does. I do it by pressing my tongue against the back-left of my bottom row of teeth and breathing out of that corner in order to get the "quack" sound. From there, you just move your lips and try to talk through it. It takes practice, but it's a worthwhile talent to have since you can practice at almost any time.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Workin' the Tweed

Today is Tweed Day! It's a day to wear tweed! Obviously some college professors from the 90's have an advantage on most of us because I don't know about you, but: I own absolutely no tweed. I didn't know that I didn't until I googled "tweed" and found out what it was, though. There was also a fairly (in)famous person named Boss Tweed born on this day. Judging by what wikipedia said he did, however, I don't know how or why I would want to celebrate him? I'm going to stick with celebrating the cloth. I'm sure there is some SOMEwhere in this house.

Today is also Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day! This one literally spells itself out for you, so I'm going to go ahead and assume you know what to do. But WAIT! Today is sunday and a lot of workplaces are closed anyway! Well, this is awkward... How about we tweak the meaning just a little bit. In the name of holiday spirit. Let's just not do work unless it's fun today. Sound good to you? Yeah. It does to me, too.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Happy girls sing.

Today is I Want You To Be Happy Day! It is a day to wish happiness on your friends without looking for ways in which it might somehow benefit you in return. Make today all about others, and less about you. In fact, do a little more thank simply telling them you want them to be happy, and actually do something that will make them happy. It doesn't have to take a grand, planned effort. Just something small yet meaningful to brighten their day.

Today is also Peach Blossom Day! It is a day for girls to celebrate the fact that they are girls. I had no idea what this had to do with peach blossoms, so I looked it up. Peach blossoms were used in chinese festivals to symbolize happy marriage. They also insinuated gentility, composure, and tranquility, which are all quite lady-like things to have. So ladies, have fun being ladies today!

Today is also National Anthem Day! Francis Scott Key's song was officially made America's national anthem today. Show your patriotism by singing the national anthem at some point during your day. If you do it in a crowded place, see how many people join in!

That's it for today! Triple holiday, though! On the 3rd, no less! Pretty neat!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle