It's a Delicacy

Today is Toasted Marshmallow Day! Today I spent... well... mostly playing video games, but I did also eat some toasted marshmallows. I also roasted criminals for information about the suburban redevelopment fund! ... in the video game. But if I were you, I'd stick with eating the toasted marshmallows today. No need to go above and beyond. I mean, marshmallows are good, and toasting them only makes them better. Especially if you wrap a fruit roll-up around it and then roast it? Delicious. ...Don't judge me.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Rosemary and Thyme

Today is More Herbs, Less Salt Day! The point of today is basically to use herbs rather than salt to spice up your food. It's healthier and, let's face it, it just tastes better. I will admit that I wasn't a firm believer in natural herb spices until I realized what salt was really good at doing: drying my food out. Also, I could never put the right amount on. Why do they make salt shakers so easily pourable? It's like they want me to over-salt my food. Especially in the summer, when things are already so dried up. Although "Summer Salt" would be an excellent brand name for salt if it isn't already taken. ... Alright, well all that aside, enjoy your herb-enhanced meals today!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Mind Over Matters

Today is World Sauntering Day! Again! Last time we had a World Sauntering Day, I told you some good ways to saunter. Don't worry, I'm not rescinding the method in that post. It is still valid. Instead, today I am here to warn you about the possible downsides of over-using the saunter.

UPSIDE: You look like you are very in control of all aspects of your own life.

DOWNSIDE: This will make people hoist their daily burdens onto you.

SOLUTION: Either learn to use the Secret Saunter* (otherwise known as the Cautionary Constitutional by some of the older viewers), or accept your role as problem receiver and prepare accordingly to solve all possible problems that are given to you that day.

*Secret Saunter may require experience in Novice to Intermediate level Sauntering. See Index in Handbook for details.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Happier Days

Today is Petroleum Day! To celebrate today, I looked at this picture.

And then I cried.

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

Pop(sicle) Culture

Today is Cherry Popsicle Day! I did what anyone who can read and has a list of holidays would do today, and enjoyed a cherry popsicle. By which I mean I ate one. I was going to say 'ate' in the first place, but you don't really eat a popsicle so much as you just kinda let it melt in your mouth. Or spontaneously and inexplicably combust due to Texan heat.

Anyway, as I was enjoyting (enjoying/eating) it, I thought about two things.
    1) I really wish this was a cherry lollipop instead.
    2) The choice of popsicle flavour can really say a lot about a person.

Maybe not so much when the sun is sending all its radiation through a focused beam towards your city, and people will take ice no matter what flavor it is, but it does when you have the luxury to casually choose. Not too casually, though, some of the people in line are very impatient. Those kind of people are what I picture as "cherry" people. They are simple, yet unmistakably exactly what they are. What I mean by that is: You get what you see. Is the popsicle red? You got cherry. Are they tapping they're foot in line because they knew what they wanted from the start? They're gonna get that cherry popsicle. If the popsicle is pink, it could be strawberry, watermelon, or some weird tropical punch mix.

Speaking of watermelon, that flavor along with grape are usually chosen by well-rounded people. You'll see them moving around the crowd getting involved in every conversation possible. It isn't that they're nosy, they just like every moment to be fresh and new. So they'll sometimes walk away when you thought you were talking with them. Don't hold it against them.

Citrus flavors are the people you'll find talking in a circle. They like the sour taste and the distance from the crowd so they can pass around cynical comments and jokes about everyone at the party. They'll be more than happy to let you throw a few jabs in the wordplay, too. However, be warned: they are much more practiced and will more than probably throw anything you give right back at you. Don't take offense, they mean it all in good fun.

Then you have the oddball flavors. There's one in every box, and there's one person at every gathering that will eat them all. They know no one else likes the flavor or really even understands it, and that's a major factor in their decision. They can enjoy their flavor without worrying about the supply running out any time soon. And they can always use the fact that they eat that flavor as a conversation starter. They also WILL use it as a conversation starter. They'll go into such detail about their past and why they like that flavor, that I might offend them trying to describe it myself.

But whatever your flavor is, enjoy the holiday today.

...But if your flavor isn't cherry, then you haven't officially celebrated.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Carry Breath Mints

Today is Kiss-and-Make-Up Day! Today would be the perfect day to go and talk with that person you've been arguing with for the past while over such a petty subject. I mean really... why did this even become a huge thing between you two? Man up (or woman up) and tell them you are so over it. Because you, like, totally are. ... Alright seriously though, today is a great day for ending an argument. Especially if you are in a relationship (in case you didn't notice that first part of the holiday (wink wink nudge nudge)).

I haven't been in an argument with anyone lately, though... So I mean... I really don't know what to do? Should I... should I start one and then just give them a smooch? Maybe? ... Worth a shot I guess. I'll keep you updated on how that goes.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Sponge + Cake

Today is National Sponge Cake Day! Sponge cake is a delicious kind of cake that tastes really good with strawberries and you should go out and find/eat some.

... I really am trying to keep this interesting, but I am now completely out of ways to tell you to eat something. I just don't have any personal anecdotes about sponge cake. So... yeah.

I mean I work at a bakery so a good chunk of my work is describing what food is to people. It's not even hard food either! People have asked me what's in our peanut butter cookies! It's a peanut butter cookie! UUUUUUGH!!!

It is really good, though. ... Sponge cake, that is.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Friendly Reminder of Friendliness

Today is Be An Angel Day! Today is a day to take some time out of your oh-so-busy schedule and try your hardest to be an angel. Before you mad scientists get excited, I'm not talking about grafting wings onto your back and bolting a yellow neon loop above your head. No, today is much simpler than that. It's a day to do something good to another human. Or animal I suppose. Angels like animals, too. I'd tell you what I did for today, but telling about my own deeds seems non-angelic. Even saying I'm not telling you because I want to be angelic seems like it's not very angelic. ... Well, just do something nice for/to/at someone today. Today's another day that should be a year-round, 24/7 kind of deal. Like when your parents used to remind you to say 'thank you', you shouldn't have to be reminded anymore. We shouldn't have to be told to be nice to others. But we were, so let's go on ahead and do it.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Radio is Retro

Today is National Radio Day! Radios were invented in the 1800's, and before Video went on a killing spree of many radio stars, it was very popular. Now it is reduced to cars and lobby music. Even then, that's only true if you don't just want to listen to your mp3 player or CD's. I think I'll celebrate radio day by listening to Pandora Radio. Mainly because I hate radio commercials. They try so hard to get the feel of what they're selling out to you that it hurts. Granted, they have to because they can't express it with facial expressions or leaping gestures, but still: tone it down, guys. I also hate talk radio. There's just no way to listen to it and be happy after you're done. So instead, I'll just listen to my Pomplamoose station and eat some pizza. Pizza has nothing to do with National Radio Day... it's just good.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Po-ta-to!

Today is Potato Day! You can celebrate potatoes in a multitude of ways, as they are perhaps the most versatile vegetable on the market. You can make french fries, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. I went with plain ol' french fries (or chips to my friends across the pond). I did, however go the american route and cover them in cheese, bacon, and ranch. I never had ranch on fries before, but I gotta say: My stomach hurts.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Butter Bends, Right?

Today is Bad Poetry Day! I've already graced you with some of my poetry in the past, and by all technical definitions, that was bad poetry. However by my high school english teacher's definitions, it was so purposefully self-satirical that it was nothing short of brilliance. Well... she said "Good Job! 100%", but you learn to translate those sorts of things.


Today, though, I have to make up some poetry that is both technically and artistically bad. It's hard to do, since in this modern world of modern thinking, anything horrible is at risk of being labelled 'modern' and then shoved into a museum for preservation. But, I'll give it the best I have.

Here is something awesomely awful,
So much so it shouldn't be lawful.
Some of these lines will be a crawful.
Like trying to eat too many falafels.


Some might think that to make a bad verse.
You don't rhyme, forget rhythm, or curse.
My opinion is quite the inverse.
You keep the rules, but makes them perverse.


Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter.
No, you keep the guidelines, but bend them like... butter?
Stretch them and skew them until they shutter.
Just enough to make readers insanely mutter.


When you've done that, you're job is done.
Blame is sought, but in you they'll find none.
You haven't broken a rule, no not one.
Just do us a favor and steer clear of puns.


Well, there ya go. That's about as horrible as I can be at poetry. It's hard to be all that bad when you enjoy poetry and know the rules. I broke quite a few, but... I mean I kinda still like it. If you can do worse, please do so and comment with your bad poem!


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Shifty Thrift

Today is National Thrift-store Day! Now, I'm not the biggest fan of thrift-stores because, quite frankly, they are usually poorly organized, smell funny, and everything seems to have been touched all over by a dirty orangutan with severe and instantaneous shedding problems. I feel similarly about online stores like eBay and Amazon, and I just prefer to get the item from where it's made.

However, there is something that I've had my eye on for quite some time. There is a thrift store near me selling an item that I need for my room: A chair. Not just any chair, though. No, this is a vintage hospital wheelchair. I know what you're thinking: "You just said you hate dirty germ-infested things, why would you want an old wheelchair from an era where disease was less solvable?" My answer is simple: I think it would be cool. I needed a chair with which to sit at my desk, but I also needed to be able to move in it. I have a carpeted room so regular wheels would mean I'd have to get a mat. However, wheelchairs move freely on mats as well as hard floors. Also, I've always wanted to see what being in a wheelchair is like without any of the... well... having to be in one. No offense meant towards my readers in wheelchairs.

This thrift store is quite a way away from me, though, so I may have to wait a few days to actually get it. I have it reserved, though! So that counts as celebrated! Right? Sure it does.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Catching Up

I'm back at home and now that I've caught up on sleep I  can spend as much time and bandwidth as I want telling you about the holidays for the past three days!

August 14th was National Creamsicle Day! The closest I got to celebrating that day was eating ice cream, because finding a creamsicle while staying in a hotel is a lot harder than it sounds.

August 15th was National Relaxation Day! I celebrated this day every spare second I could. Which turned out to be a lot since I had an international flight with an 8-hour layover.

August 15th was also National Failures Day! I also celebrated this day in the form of failing to sleep very much at all. I can't express how happy I am that I failed, but the planes and pilots succeeded.

Finally, today is Bratwurst Festival! I have to say that I'm mildly disappointed in the fact that the day I come back is a food holiday since those are so simple to talk about and celebrate. I will say that a fairly recent story I have about hot dog related things is that even though I spent eight hours in Chicago yesterday, I didn't have a chicago style dog. Why? Because no hot dog is worth eight dollars. Maybe I'll try and get one when I'm not in an airport where the prices are set almost as high as the flight paths.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

It Wasn't Me

Today is National Blame Someone Else Day! Today is the perfect day to blame anything on anybody near by. I wouldn't say that it is a day to not take responsibility for anything, as some things you do might be good. If anything goes wrong though, just point at your appointed scapegoat of the moment and run away when they aren't looking.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Stuck in the Middle

Today is Middle Child's Day! Since I am a middle child, I'm pretty much a pro on them. Middle child's are always by far the most appreciated by the public, because we are the underdog story. We aren't quite as well trained as the older child, and never got quite the recognition that was given to the younger child. I would go in to full detail on my life as a middle child, but I really don't want to ignore any of this awesome trip. So instead, I will someday regale you with tales from my past. Until then, if you are a middle child, take some extra time out of your day to let yourself know how great you are. I say extra time because we all know we already spend a lot of time doing that on a regular basis.

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

Seeing Double

Today is Twins' Day Festival! This is an actual festival that takes place in Ohio to celebrate twins! Twins are some of the most interesting duos that you will find, because they have very unique interactions with each other. If you are a twin today, then celebrate with your twin. Especially if you're in Ohio! If you aren't a twin, find someone who you share almost everything in common with and spend the day with them being 'twins for a day'. Or something. Dress alike, but not in a creepy way. There is matching and then there is just a whole other level that some people take it to that makes you wonder how they even found those types of clothes in matching patterns.

Anyway, I'm flying out to Wales tomorrow, so I don't really know how I'm going to do my blogging over there, seeing as I will be very busy and have very limited connection to the internet. So here's the deal. I will try as hard as my mind will allow to remember to update daily as per usual, but I'm not going to let this become so prevalent in my thoughts that it distracts me from what I should be paying attention to. IF I miss a day, I will tell you what that holiday was once I get a chance to update. Other than that, I'm sorry if you are for some reason addicted to reading what I think about holidays you've never heard of and I cause some major withdrawal type symptoms. I promise once I get back I'll put you back on the daily dosage.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Pie is for Eating.

Today is National Raspberry Cream Pie Day! I'm a fan of pies, but not really the cream variety. However, I'm a big enough fan of raspberries that I can put aside my differences for today and have a slice of raspberry cream pie. Which is how today should be celebrated. In case you hadn't gotten the pattern of most food holidays being celebrated by eating the food for which the day is named. I've mentioned before that there are only so many ways I can tell you that you get to eat food today. It tastes good and today gives you an excuse to eat it even if you are on some crazy diet or something. Not much else to say. So... ...yep.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle