Chocolate Plush

Today is Plush Animal Lover's Day! Pretty simple. Today is a day to love on your favorite plush animal. almost everyone I know has some kind of plush animal or toy. They can usually be seen on or near their bed, so thats a good place to start looking if you have misplaced yours. Or if it went on an adventure of it's own free will. They tend to do that, you know.

Today is also Chocolate Day! Ah, a chocolate oriented day once again. As full of these food holidays as I can get, I always have room for another chocolate day. In fact, they are the only holidays that I have marked on a real-life, no-joking, honest-to-goodness, PAPER calendar. Take some time out of your day to enjoy some chocolate. Or if you're like me, you'll have to set aside some of your time to enjoy some of the day in the middle of all your chocolate consumption.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Today is Stupid

Today is Ask a Stupid Question Day! You may be asking: "Kyle, how do I celebrate Ask a Stupid Question Day?" Well, don't worry, because you already have. Just by asking me that! The entire idiom today is referring to is "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

The day was created in the 80's by teachers who wanted the children to be more comfortable asking questions in class, since the 80's were when children started noticing how dumb their questions could be sometimes
because some children were uncomfortable asking stupid things, knowing that others would point and laugh 
because the teachers wanted to have more stories about the dumb kids in class to share in the lounge
because the teachers knew that peer pressure was causing some of the children in class to withhold some of their questions, which wasn't conducive to a learning atmosphere.

You can celebrate today by asking all the stupid questions you want! Some might say "There is no such thing as a stupid question". However, there is! If you've been anywhere ever, you know this for a fact. I'm not saying that the person asking the question is stupid, but the question definitely is. Now, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they hadn't thought it through quite as much as they should have, but today is a free pass to ask before you think! I'm not here to judge. Unless I'm judging how stupid your question is... but I won't judge you. Unless you wear an "I'm with Stupid" shirt. That means that you're stupid enough to hang out with stupid people often enough to wear a t-shirt in order to warn people... and I might judge you for that a little.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Mind Over Matters

Today is World Sauntering Day! Again! Last time we had a World Sauntering Day, I told you some good ways to saunter. Don't worry, I'm not rescinding the method in that post. It is still valid. Instead, today I am here to warn you about the possible downsides of over-using the saunter.

UPSIDE: You look like you are very in control of all aspects of your own life.

DOWNSIDE: This will make people hoist their daily burdens onto you.

SOLUTION: Either learn to use the Secret Saunter* (otherwise known as the Cautionary Constitutional by some of the older viewers), or accept your role as problem receiver and prepare accordingly to solve all possible problems that are given to you that day.

*Secret Saunter may require experience in Novice to Intermediate level Sauntering. See Index in Handbook for details.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Chunks of Joy

Today is National Milk Chocolate Day! Milk chocolate is perhaps, the most popular form of chocolate. It may be due to the fact that as young children, we can be given a Hershey's and have nothing explained to us. I remember when my mom first introduced me to dark chocolate and I didn't understand that it wasn't just a change of color. However, today isn't about dark chocolate, it's about milk chocolate. Milk chocolate is by far the best kind, in my own correct opinion. It's good as a bar, as sprinkles, as syrup, as ice cream, and as pretty much anything that chocolate can be used for. So find a way to get some milk chocolate into your gut today (It should be a gut by now if you've been properly celebrating all these food holidays... unless you celebrated yesterday in a hardcore style beyond my comprehension). Once you've gotten your chocolate, you can cross today off the list, too! If you have a list... I do... I don't cross them off though. ... Do whatever it is you do after you celebrate a holiday.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

A Big Deal

Today is Paul Bunyan Day! Paul was one of the greatest movers and/or shakers of early America. He not only invented logging, but he created such staple landmarks like the Great Lakes while his pet ox, Babe, created the thousands of lakes in Minnesota. You can celebrate today by rubbing up on your Bunyanian history. You can easily do this by going to your local library and checking out all the books that deal in any way with Paul Bunyan and reading all of them. Or you could just google him. But nothing can replace reading about legends like him on good ol' american made paper from good ol' american logs cut by the good ol' american logging industry that he created.

... even though he is canadian.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday

Today is National Hamburger Day! What makes today so great, in my opinion, is how simple it is. It's not 1/2 pound angus burger with no onions on a wheat bun day. No, it's hamburger day. It's have it like you want it day. There are plenty of burger places that cater to that exact mentality, too. In-N-Out, Sonic, Whataburger, Five Guys, Mooyah... the list goes one. You could even grill some up at home. That's what's so great about today. So spend today with some family or friends and pick a meal to celebrate one of the greatest and most customizable main dishes on this side of the universe.

Thanks for Reading!
~Kyle

Valentine's Day II

Today is Great Poetry Reading Day! Today, you should read some of the classic poems. I'm not going to put any on here for three reasons: 1) That makes it too easy for you, 2) Who am I to say what great poetry is to everyone?, 3) That may or may not be plagiarism. Don't worry, though. Every bookstore worth it's salt has a section of poetry, and every section has at least 5-10 books that are the "greatest poems of time" or some such thing. And they rarely cost more than 10 dollars. So go buy one and read poems to people today. Or yourself if you're shy.

Today is also Kiss Your Mate Day! If, like me, you don't have a mate or are uncertain you know what that means (are we talking Australian 'mate' like a buddy, or 'mate' like someone you've had a child with?), then today ranges anywhere from difficult to impossible to do. I do not have a mate right now, so I can't kiss her. I also don't generally go around kissing people willy nilly. Especially not my mates (Australian usage). Of course maybe this holiday is talking about soul-mates? But if thats the case I wish I had some advance warning. Like "Find your Soul-Mate Day"... then again, a holiday like that would put a lot of pressure on a few people. I've heard good poetry might make it easier to give/get a kiss, though.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

New Diet Craze

Today is Something on a Stick Day! Today is a celebration of a fairly specific type of food that has a surprising amount of variants and possibilities. From corn dogs to popsicles, today is a day to eat anything and everything that comes on a stick. Roasted marshmallows, lollipops, cotton candy, shish kabobs, and even free samples at the mall can be eating today. There is, of course, a more interesting and slightly messier way to celebrate if you are so inclined. Try taking foods that are not usually seen on a stick or even eaten with silverware and put them on a stick. Some difficult ones would be pizza, hard tacos, or soup. Find a bunch of skewers or sticks and carry them with you today in case you come across food that is not already on a stick. Now that I think about it, it might even make a decent diet. The "Something on a Stick Diet™" by Kyle: Never eat any more than what fits on an average-length food skewer. Of course, then you run into problems like the fact that you could technically fit 3-4 deep dish pizzas on one skewer if you really wanted to. Well, the idea was fun while it lasted.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Catching Z's

Today is Public Sleeping Day. This may sound a little odd or hard to celebrate, but I assure you it is quite simple. Today sounds a little dangerous because celebrating it involves two things that most people are afraid of on at least some level: Being in public, and being vulnerable. Keep in mind, however, that 'public' doesn't necessarily mean you have to go and sleep in the middle of a busy intersection or down a dark alley.

Here is a list of places that you can sleep in public with only minor risk:
1) In school
2) At your job
3) While in an automobile (not driving!)
4) On the train.
We are all in one of those places at least once a day I would imagine, and they are fairly safe places to catch some z's.

If you want to take a little more of a risk you could try:
1) A park bench
2) A mall food court
3) A Theatre
4) The public pool
Sleeping in those places, depending on the kind of neighborhood you are in, can vary in results from someone kindly waking you up to you getting mugged.

For the extremists, try:
1) Someone else's lawn (front OR back)
2) On top of a stranger's car
3) On the conveyor belt of an empty grocery store check out isle
4) Sneak inside a police officer's car (also a time saver).
I wish you all a safe and happy nap.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Clashing Rattlesnake Kazoos

Today is first and foremost, National Kazoo Day. A day to play the kazoo either in a group, or go for that wicked kazoo solo you've been practicing for all those years. Anyone who can hum has already mastered the kazoo as long as they can also carry a tune.

There are two more days that I couldn't find any solid info on, though. The first being Clash Day. I couldn't find out if it had to do with simply wearing clothes that clashed or whether it had to do with some sort of astrological animal sign clash that I can't even understand. So I'll do my best to just go with the clothing one, seeing as that got more google results.

The second day I can't wrap my head around is Rattlesnake Roundup Day. Am I supposed to go out and literally roundup some rattlesnakes? No, the internet was fairly clear on saying that I wasn't supposed to do that. I did get some results that entailed looking at snakes, playing snake games (whatever that means), reading articles about snakes, and just snake-related activities in general. I suppose I could watch a few snake movies, as there are quite a few of those now. I could also go for an hour or two of playing the classic video game: Snake. They even have a playable version of that on Youtube now, I hear.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle