Makeing Mistkaes

Today is Rubber Eraser Day! Erasers haven't always been there for us to make our past mistakes (or at least our written ones) disappear, so today is a day to celebrate the fact that they now exist. Sure, in today's crazy age of gadgets, hoozits, and whatchamacallits, we tend to not use erasers as often because we now have text editing programs that do all sorts of tech-magic to our documents. However, if you are anything like me, then you still appreciate the feel of a pencil on paper. If you do, you probably are doubly thankful for the feel of an eraser on paper, because anyone who writes with a pencil knows that you never start writing until you are sure your eraser is at the ready. I write with mechanical pencils most of the time, and those rarely have replaceable erasers, so I've been known to just throw them away once the eraser is gone. Don't worry, I transfer the lead to a new pencil (Mechanical pencils: 1, Wood pencils: 0).

Today, write as any mistakes as you darn well please because rubber erasers are more than happy to eat your mistakes. Unless your job entails you writing quickly and accurately. Then, save the celebration for home.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Pickin' on Pecans

Today is National Pecan Day! As I have mentioned before, I'm not a huge fan of pecans. The only nuts I really like are cashews or the toffee-covered peanuts. There is one saving grace about pecans, though: Roasted Pecans. I've had them at the fair and at home, and they are quite good. They are one of the snacks that taste good fresh and warm or out of a plastic bag you've packed to snack from throughout the day. If I were to hazard a guess as to why I liked roasted pecans and not plain pecans, I would have two fairly good reasons. Those reasons, of course, are sugar and cinnamon. Sugar is just delicious and is in about everything you eat whether you like it or not. Cinnamon, however has a very distinct deliciousness to it. You can't mistake anything for cinnamon or vice versa. Put those two together and it's an amazing topping for almost anything. I know that there are other ingredients in roasted pecans (pecans for instance), but those are really the best ones.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

No Comment

Today is Winston Churchill Day! Winston had a lot going for him. He had a military and political career and served as prime minister for two non-consecutive terms. I'm sure we all studied him in school for at least a day or two, because he played some pretty major parts in some pretty major areas of history including but not limited to WWII. Today is the anniversary of the day he became an honorary U.S. citizen. An honor that I didn't know existed and has only been given to less than ten other people. Ever. So it's a pretty big deal. Today, share some fun facts about Winston with your friends and/or family. For instance: He had a stutter. A quote by him: "'No comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again."

Today is also Name Yourself Day! As none of you may remember, we have already seen a holiday almost exactly like this on February 13th. Is there a major difference? Nope. Why are there multiple holidays dedicated to changing your name? I have no idea. Either people really don't like their names (and can't decide on one to keep), or they are running from the law and are in constant need of a new identity. Either way, today is another chance to test out a new name for a day. It could be just your first name or all the names you have. If you are getting married, and are a girl, then you most likely already are changing one of your names.

Thanks for reading!
~Leonard Spencer

Struck Out

Today is Sorry Charlie Day! Today is a day to reflect on the times that you have been turned down or rejected. I imagine everybody has experienced it at least once in their lives, so take the day to reflect on the time(s) that you were. Don't get too caught up in it, though. Today is a day to simply remember those times and perhaps realize that they didn't "totally ruin your life". I don't really have much else to say about this day because there really isn't much to do. I do worry slightly for whoever made the holiday, though. I have a job interview today at 1:00, so I hope I'm not rejected the opportunity to work there. It's at a bakery, which we all know is one of the best and best smelling places to work.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

All In

Today is Go For Broke Day! Today is a day to put everything you have into doing something that might earn you a very nice prize or reward. I hear this phrase used a lot in poker games or movies about poker games, but every once in a while people use it for random situations. However, in my opinion, it doesn't make much sense. Maybe I'm missing out on something but shouldn't it be something like "Go for it" or "Risk it all". Oh wait those phrases already exist. Still, "Go for Broke" makes it sound like you are going for the end result of being broke. I was under the impression that was not a desirable outcome in any life circumstance. Oh well, enough of that. Today, if there is something that you've been wanting to do, but thought of it as "too risky," it's time to put all your chips in and hold your poker face. Who knows? You could finally get that job/girlfriend/verdict you've been after for a while.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

100 Lies

Today is Tell A Lie Day! Today is a day to take the time to tell a lie. It doesn't matter how big or small of a lie it is, and it doesn't matter who you tell it to. Since This is the 100th post on my blog, I've decided to tell 100 lies. To you. Let's do this.

1. I live in Washington.
2. I drive a Nissan Cube.
3. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Law
4. I love my phone.
5. My room is the cleanest it has ever been.
6. I know who is making those noises downstairs.
7. I knew I wasn't home alone.
8. I never want to drink apple juice again, especially not right now.
9. I'm perfectly satisfied with the quality of social interaction I had this weekend.
10. I'm not going to play Zelda as soon as I'm done posting this.
11. I'm dreading a phone call I may get today.
12. It pleases me to no end to have my PC be broken.
13. I have no desire for a haircut.
14. I hate drawing.
15. I hate writing even more.
16. I hope nothing I write ever becomes published.
17. I can play guitar with the best of them.
18. I have a passionate love for the college I go to.
19. All of it's professors are top quality.
20. The constant construction on campus makes me smile.
21. College text book prices are totally understandable.
22. Return prices are fairer than ever.
23. I have never been pulled over.
24. I've gotten a ticket.
25. I've never been in a jail cell.
26. I've been put in jail.
27. I dislike baked goods.
28. Eating healthy is something I do not like trying to achieve.
29. I refuse to cook.
30. I like eating in public places.
31. I will never have room for dessert.
32. I watch T.V. constantly.
33. I'm almost never online.
34. I've gotten out of bed today.
35. I'm getting richer and richer.
36. I haven't applied anywhere for a job.
37. Every place that says they have job openings actually has job openings.
38. That doesn't anger me in the slightest.
39. The call I'm waiting on isn't job related.
40. I hope the call doesn't come anytime soon.
41. I hope the phone call is awkward if they do call.
42. I know the meaning of life.
43. I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
44. Listening to music while writing hinders my ideas.
45. I have very few ideas for stories.
46. I have far too much time to write them.
47. I have no ideas for nifty inventions/innovations.
48. I want a 3DS.
49. I do not want an iPad 2.
50. I hate musicals.
51. I hate movies.
52. I would hate to be involved in a movie.
53. I would hate to be involved in a stage play, too.
54. I would absolutely despise being a writer for a living.
55. I have no desire to see my ideas enjoyed by others.
56. I do not want to travel.
57. I do not want to move North.
58. I do not want a mansion.
59. I do not want it to have secret passageways and traps.
60. I want a new car.
61. The car I have now is in no need of a car wash.
62. Coming up with 100 lies is easier than I anticipated.
63. I'm not tempted to stop here.
64. I wouldn't say I lied about writing 100 lies.
65. That wouldn't be a lame excuse.
66. I'm a pro-wrestler.
67. I'm 100% American.
68. I think the world is a rhombus.
69. There are a lot of things I have to do today.
70. I'm a busy person.
71. I prefer using pens to pencils.
72. I prefer normal pencils to mechanical.
73. I always know what I'm about to draw when I start.
74. I am pleased with the progress I have made writing this story.
75. I have the slightest clue of how to publish writings.
76. I'm not almost convincing myself of some of these lies.
77. I do not need to use the restroom at all.
78. I'm not tempted to finish this in the restroom.
79. I am not afraid to sing in front of others.
80. I'm not afraid to speak in front of others.
81. I'm not afraid to exist in front of others.
82. This is taking a much shorter time than I anticipated.
83. I really knew what I was getting myself into.
84. I wish the posts I liked would get less views than the ones I half payed attention to.
85. I like the color of un-visited/visited links on my blog posts.
86. I'm under 21.
87. I'm older than 21.
88. Every fathomable colour of the universe is in my eyes. Except shades of brown.
89. I'm not white.
90. I dislike flavour in my food.
91. I'm not looking forward to the end of this list.
92. I'm not starving.
93. "Hungry Like The Wolf" didn't just get stuck in my head.
94. I know more than four words to "Hungry Like The Wolf".
95. I hope there is no bacon downstairs.
96. Bacon is nasty.
97. I don't miss the hamburgers from England's pubs.
98. I don't miss J2O at all.
99. I'm going to delete all of this and start over.
100. I'm going to do this again next year.

That was painful.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Workin' the Tweed

Today is Tweed Day! It's a day to wear tweed! Obviously some college professors from the 90's have an advantage on most of us because I don't know about you, but: I own absolutely no tweed. I didn't know that I didn't until I googled "tweed" and found out what it was, though. There was also a fairly (in)famous person named Boss Tweed born on this day. Judging by what wikipedia said he did, however, I don't know how or why I would want to celebrate him? I'm going to stick with celebrating the cloth. I'm sure there is some SOMEwhere in this house.

Today is also Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day! This one literally spells itself out for you, so I'm going to go ahead and assume you know what to do. But WAIT! Today is sunday and a lot of workplaces are closed anyway! Well, this is awkward... How about we tweak the meaning just a little bit. In the name of holiday spirit. Let's just not do work unless it's fun today. Sound good to you? Yeah. It does to me, too.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Today is Peanut Butter and Jelly Day!

I have been waiting for today for at least a week. Peanut Butter and Jelly is one of those combinations that completely changes your life forever. If you have not eaten a PB&J sandwich, I strongly urge you to make one today and savor it's flavor. There is just one rule for your first PB&J that you have to follow at all costs: Keep it simple!

White bread, Smooth Peanut Butter, and Grape Jelly are the ingredients you will use.

White bread: It is a simple yet time-tested bread and will not interfere with the flavours of the PB&J while still providing a very soft encasement for them

Smooth Peanut Butter: Doesn't really matter what brand, although I usually use Jiffy. You DO want smooth, though because it's a risk. For your first PB&J we want safety. Go smooth for a no-crunch, all-flavour sandwich.

Grape Jelly: This is where things get specific. You will need Welch's Grape Jelly. They are the masters of grape, so it would simply be foolish to choose another. Why Grape? It's the starter flavour. It is your base camp on the PB&J mountain. The foundation to your PB&J pyramid. Also the cement. After your first PB&J, you can take risks and venture out into strawberry or apple or what-have-you, but you will want to eat grape first so that you know you can always go back to it. And you WILL come back to it. Why Welch's? I've already told you: They know grapes better than any other jelly. I've tried other brands and it just never is as good as Welch's is. In fact I'm going to look up Welch's and email them a "Thank you for being so awesome" note.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

[EDIT]
Holy Cow! Welch's has a twitter and they are also celebrating PB&J Day! That makes them 10 times more deserving to be the J to your PB!

Pounds of Pennies

Today is One Cent Day! There is a lot that can be done with one cent. Not literally, of course. For example, you can pay a single penny for someone's thoughts. Can you even comprehend the great deal in that transaction? No. You can't. That's giving someone something that you find on the ground with no real use by itself, and trading them for their entire life. That's crazy! Granted, no one really respects the rules of the trade anymore, and some people just outright turn the offer down.

Okay, so there are a few uses for pennies out there, but most of them entail using more than one. Today being ONE Cent Day, I find it offensive that you would even think of using more. No, we're just gonna have to get creative here. I, for instance, am going to go try to get a job today so that I can say that I earn at LEAST a cent. ... That was a stretch. Sorry. Here's my favourite saying about pennies to make up for it.

"In for a penny, in for a pound."

Wait don't freak out! I know, I know. "Pounds are a measure of weight, Kyle! What does this mean?" Well, in some well-known areas of Europe, (We'll say England, for example) they have a unit of money called a 'Pound'. Crazy I know. I still don't know how to react over there when someone says "I've lost twenty pounds!" Anyway, the phrase means that you are committed to your completing an action once you've started it, no matter how much effort or consequence comes with it.

Example 1: Scenario - Guy is robbing a bank
Robber says "Give me all your money!"
Teller says "The cops are on their way and we have your face on camera!" (Dumb thing to say, btw)
Robber says "Give me that pen, too! And break it so I get most of the chain!"
Teller says "What? Why?"
Robber says "In for a penny, in for a pound!"

There is no Example 2, I'm saying that that one is funny/good enough for 9:30 in the morning. Time to go get a job! Might as well stop at a bunch of other places to see if there are openings, too. I'm fully committed to my current course of action no matter the amount of effort I might have to put forth into fully completing it. (See why they made a phrase to replace all that?)

April Fool's! That kind of was another Example... Now I'm just procrastinating.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Bunsen Clams

Today is Bunsen Burner Day! The inventor of the bunsen burner, Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen, was born on March 31st, 1811. The bunsen burner is an important part of scientific experiments. At least it was on the high school level, but I assume real scientists use it constantly as well because that's what I see in the movies. I don't know of any way to celebrate this holiday other than playing experimenting with a bunsen burner. I suppose you could also simply spread the word about Robert. His name is a mouthful, though.

Today is also Clams On The Half Shell Day! Today, go out to a seafood type restaurant and order clams on the half shell. Or just go get some clams yourself and eat them. It's a raw dish. See what makes seafood so disgusting? I mean fruits and vegetables are also technically raw when I eat them, but they also were never sentient beings. Don't get me wrong: I eat cow/chicken/pig and all that good stuff. But aquatic things just... they don't change looks from the habitat to my plate. It freaks me out!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Taking Control

Today is I Am In Control Day! It is a day to gain some control back in your life that you may have lost over time. It's easy to feel like you've lost control, especially when things seem to be moving to fast for us to keep up with. Actually... come to think of it, I think we may only say something is "out of control" when we can't or won't own up to our own responsibility in the situation. I've NEVER heard someone say "This is out of control because of me". I most definitely HAVE heard people say "I've got this under control". That's most likely because once something becomes chaotic, we don't want any of the blame for it nor the responsibility for bringing it back to a state of calm. We will, however, take all the credit for something done right without a second thought.

That was a bit of a tangent. Today is a day to get your junk together and start being in control. It's like the scene in an action movie with thousands of bad guys charging towards the hero/heroine, who is frightened by the insurmountable army of zombies/nazis/monsters/aliens. The love interest will say something that causes the hero/heroine to have a flashback to something that a family member/friend once told him/her. When the flashback is over, the hero/heroine will say something witty to the love interest making her/him swoon/say something funny. The hero/heroine then stands up, draws his/her sword/gun and gets back on his/her horse/car/bike/spaceship and charges towards a slow-mo/slideshow fight to the tune of loud techno/operatic orchestra/We Aren't Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister. Roll Credits.

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

New Diet Craze

Today is Something on a Stick Day! Today is a celebration of a fairly specific type of food that has a surprising amount of variants and possibilities. From corn dogs to popsicles, today is a day to eat anything and everything that comes on a stick. Roasted marshmallows, lollipops, cotton candy, shish kabobs, and even free samples at the mall can be eating today. There is, of course, a more interesting and slightly messier way to celebrate if you are so inclined. Try taking foods that are not usually seen on a stick or even eaten with silverware and put them on a stick. Some difficult ones would be pizza, hard tacos, or soup. Find a bunch of skewers or sticks and carry them with you today in case you come across food that is not already on a stick. Now that I think about it, it might even make a decent diet. The "Something on a Stick Diet™" by Kyle: Never eat any more than what fits on an average-length food skewer. Of course, then you run into problems like the fact that you could technically fit 3-4 deep dish pizzas on one skewer if you really wanted to. Well, the idea was fun while it lasted.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Joe Schmoe

Today is National "Joe" Day! At first I thought that this would be a holiday celebrating coffee, which slightly excited me because I drink coffee rarely enough to make it somewhat of a treat. However, I could not have been further off. Well, I could have been, but let's save philosophical talks for later on in this blog. Today is a day to go around and either call everyone "Joe", ask to be called "Joe", or both. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Maybe because Joe is a popular name in America even in nicknames. Joe the Plumber is the first that comes to my mind. Which is odd because I'm not that into politics (which is another talk for another day). Off topic. Today go around calling everyone you see "Joe" and ask to be called "Joe". If you know someone who is actually named "Joe", be sure to let them know how special they are today. Or at least their name.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Funnel Spinach?

Today is Spinach Festival Day! Today is a day to pay some tribute to spinach by eating it or cooking it or at least watching Popeye the Sailor cartoons. I just got back from Six Flags and the combination of the hot, hot sun plus walking around for hours has left my stomach in quite a moody state, so I think I'll stick to watching Popeye. I also just don't have any spinach, and frankly am not well versed at all in what to make with it. Aside from Spinach Salad. Recipe: Spinach + Plate + Dressing?* (*may not be necessary)

Today is also Make Up Your Own Holiday Day! I assume that every year I can make a new one, and that my decision for today will not make every subsequent M.U.Y.O.H.D. the same celebration. In light of that made up knowledge, I choose to dub today "Funnel Cake Day". Funnel Cake is delicious. Even when it is as overpriced as it was at Six Flags, there is just no getting around the fact that it is an absolutely mouth watering treat. I mean look at this:

How could you not want to eat that?

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

To eat or not to eat

Today is Pecan Day! Today is a day to celebrate the pecan. I have to admit: I rarely ever eat pecans, and when I do, it has never been too delicious. I've just never been a pecan type of guy. Nutty right? (Ha) Well,  there is one kind of pecan that I'm okay with eating a few of, and that would be roasted pecans. When roasted in the right kind of flavor, I may even go so far as to eat 4 or 5 pecans!

Today is also International Waffle Day! A day to celebrate waffles is by far more understandable to me. There are so many ways to make waffles, and even top them after they are baked. Some people don't like waffles and prefer pancakes. In my humble opinion, it's all about the mood you're in. Sure, pancakes absorb a little more, but waffles just seem to have more flavor packed into them. Not to mention waffles don't flop around on your fork when you try to eat them. Speaking of flopping around, you could also spend today celebrating the first definition of waffle: Fail to make up one's mind. I've already started celebrating that way. I can't decide whether or not to celebrate these two holidays together. The waffle would make the pecan taste better, but the pecan would make the waffle taste worse. A predicament for the ages. Or at least today.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Melts in your mouth. And your hands.

Today is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day! If you are anything like me, you know the value of a good chocolate covered raisin. They are quite possibly one of the best candy treats in existence. I'm not really a fan of chocolate and fruit mixed together aside from strawberries, bananas, and raisins. I don't understand the people who can eat chocolate "infused" with orange or raspberry. That's off topic, though. Chocolate covered raisins are delicious and precious. I say precious because they melt FAST if you aren't careful in the summer, and sometimes they come pre-melted n the store. It can be hard during these coming months to enjoy them as you so easily can in the fall, winter, or early spring. So perhaps today is a day to go out and celebrate them before it is too late. A word of advice from a self-proclaimed chocolate covered raisin professional: Stick to Raisinets. There may be a better brand, but I haven't found it yet.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Ya Done Goofed

Today is National Goof-off Day! I at first thought that today would be celebrated by fun, pointless games and having a questionable sanity in public, but as it turns out, the dictionary says that a goof-off is a lazy person who does less than their fair share of work. I find this odd because when I'm lazy, I'm called lazy. I've only been called a goof-off when I joke around in a goofy way. So I'm saying that this holiday is open to debate on how to celebrate it. To be safe, I've decided to keep it simple and be slightly lazy while still having fun. I choose to watch both Goofy Movies. That should satisfy my need for seeing funny hijinks and antics happen, along with satisfying the dictionary's need for laziness (as I will be on a couch or in bed for at least an extra 4 hours).

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

A nose by any other name...

... would still smell.

Today is Fragrance Day! It's fairly obviously dedicated to the more fragrant things such as flowers, fresh baked sweets, and perfume. Ladies will probably be better at this holiday, so to them I say: Select your favourite perfume/soap/shampoo/over-all scent and wear it proudly today. This next talk is between me and my fellow man, so if you are a lady, feel free to stop reading here.

Okay, guys, I don't know what it is about us, but let's face it: We stink sometimes often a lot of the time and simply don't realize it. Today is a day to not do that. Take a shower, shampoo your hair and repeat the lather like it says to on the bottle. You might even go crazy and condition. It never hurt anybody. Now see that oddly shaped, smooth rock on the side of the wall? Yeah, the one with the carving in it? Yeah that's actually soap and not a decorative statue. You're gonna take that and and put it everywhere on you. Now when you're done with the shower, dry off and put some deodorant on. WHOA STOP RIGHT THERE! I know you started reaching for that body spray. No, use REAL deodorant. The kind that stops smells instead of hoping that a cloud of AXE Phoenix will just cover up anything that happens to your shirt today. I'm talking to you, 8th graders. Feel free to spray a little on, but don't overpower anybody. It helps to not use AXE, too. I'm beginning to think that AXE might mean "Ouch! My nose. Where is the gas leak?" In some ancient language. Their stick deodorant is fine though.

Well, that's about all I can do for ya. Oh don't forget to put clean clothes on. I almost wasn't going to mention clothes since today is Fragrance Day and not Fashionista Day. However, it just occurred to me how comfortable we are with wearing the same clothes for several days. Do not do that. Wear something clean. If you don't have anything clean, then go buy new clothes. And find a local laundromat. Soon. Buy some minty gum, too. Because as it turns out, girls don't like breakfast burrito breath. Who would have thought, right?

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

P.S. Mango is possibly one of the best smells in my opinion.

Yellow Submarine

Today is Submarine Day! Today can be celebrated one of two ways according to my research. It can be celebrated as a day for actual submarines, or it can be celebrated as a submarine sandwich day. There are obviously very subtle differences between how you might celebrate the existence of either thing, so I've made a helpful little comparison guide to help you out.

Submarine (ship): Go into the belly of the ship (or bowels depending on how dramatic you are/how far down you go)

Submarine (sandwich): Put one in your belly (Eventually bowels. Not an option.)

Submarine (ship): Try to make a submersible item of your own while still keeping air inside of it. It doesn't have to actual size. Maybe a water bottle in a bath tub.

Submarine (sandwich): Don't do that with a sandwich. Bread floats and tastes nasty after being in a bath tub. Possibly find something to dip your sandwich in like ranch or that french dip at Arby's.

Submarine (ship): Find out how much of a submarine you could buy. An attack one is roughly $13,951,671 per square foot. Thats an insanely rough estimate, though. Only top-result google research was involved. Still. Dang.

Submarine (sandwich): 5 Dollar Footlong.

So that's about all the ways I can think of to celebrate today that I can make into some kind of humorous joke while maintaining some semblance of slight realism. So I'm gonna go clean a garage I think and then head over to a sub-shop for lunch. I don't think there's an actual submarine anywhere near me. But, if there is. I will take a picture.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Being Wrong and Buzzards

Today is Buzzard's Day! This holiday is pretty much exclusive to Ohio, as citizens spend today celebrating the return of the buzzards. Buzzards are apparently also known as turkey vultures, which makes me wonder: Why? Both turkeys and vultures aren't really animals I ever thought about outright celebrating the return of. Aside from thanksgiving or the time I have to decide between a Santa Fe Chicken Wrap or a Turkey Club Sandwich, I rarely think about turkey at all. As for vultures, I've only ever actually seen them in cartoon deserts or The Jungle Book. I thought that maybe it was Ohio's state bird, but I was wrong. Their state bird is the cardinal. I don't understand this holiday, but I suppose if I see a buzzard, I'll give it a smile.

Today is also Everything You Think is Wrong Day! This may seem like a somewhat cruel holiday, and it kind of is. Today is a day spent in the awareness of the fact that some days just do not go right. Well, to be more exact, it's for those days when everything goes wrong. No matter what you think might fix a situation, something will come along and make it worse. We all have had those days, and we all will simply give in to them eventually and watch our day fall apart around us. Don't worry, though. After days like those, the next day always seems so much better.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle