Today is Submarine Day! Today can be celebrated one of two ways according to my research. It can be celebrated as a day for actual submarines, or it can be celebrated as a submarine sandwich day. There are obviously very subtle differences between how you might celebrate the existence of either thing, so I've made a helpful little comparison guide to help you out.
Submarine (ship): Go into the belly of the ship (or bowels depending on how dramatic you are/how far down you go)
Submarine (sandwich): Put one in your belly (Eventually bowels. Not an option.)
Submarine (ship): Try to make a submersible item of your own while still keeping air inside of it. It doesn't have to actual size. Maybe a water bottle in a bath tub.
Submarine (sandwich): Don't do that with a sandwich. Bread floats and tastes nasty after being in a bath tub. Possibly find something to dip your sandwich in like ranch or that french dip at Arby's.
Submarine (ship): Find out how much of a submarine you could buy. An attack one is roughly $13,951,671 per square foot. Thats an insanely rough estimate, though. Only top-result google research was involved. Still. Dang.
Submarine (sandwich): 5 Dollar Footlong.
So that's about all the ways I can think of to celebrate today that I can make into some kind of humorous joke while maintaining some semblance of slight realism. So I'm gonna go clean a garage I think and then head over to a sub-shop for lunch. I don't think there's an actual submarine anywhere near me. But, if there is. I will take a picture.
Thanks for reading!