Monday, March 21, 2011

A nose by any other name...

... would still smell.

Today is Fragrance Day! It's fairly obviously dedicated to the more fragrant things such as flowers, fresh baked sweets, and perfume. Ladies will probably be better at this holiday, so to them I say: Select your favourite perfume/soap/shampoo/over-all scent and wear it proudly today. This next talk is between me and my fellow man, so if you are a lady, feel free to stop reading here.

Okay, guys, I don't know what it is about us, but let's face it: We stink sometimes often a lot of the time and simply don't realize it. Today is a day to not do that. Take a shower, shampoo your hair and repeat the lather like it says to on the bottle. You might even go crazy and condition. It never hurt anybody. Now see that oddly shaped, smooth rock on the side of the wall? Yeah, the one with the carving in it? Yeah that's actually soap and not a decorative statue. You're gonna take that and and put it everywhere on you. Now when you're done with the shower, dry off and put some deodorant on. WHOA STOP RIGHT THERE! I know you started reaching for that body spray. No, use REAL deodorant. The kind that stops smells instead of hoping that a cloud of AXE Phoenix will just cover up anything that happens to your shirt today. I'm talking to you, 8th graders. Feel free to spray a little on, but don't overpower anybody. It helps to not use AXE, too. I'm beginning to think that AXE might mean "Ouch! My nose. Where is the gas leak?" In some ancient language. Their stick deodorant is fine though.

Well, that's about all I can do for ya. Oh don't forget to put clean clothes on. I almost wasn't going to mention clothes since today is Fragrance Day and not Fashionista Day. However, it just occurred to me how comfortable we are with wearing the same clothes for several days. Do not do that. Wear something clean. If you don't have anything clean, then go buy new clothes. And find a local laundromat. Soon. Buy some minty gum, too. Because as it turns out, girls don't like breakfast burrito breath. Who would have thought, right?

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Mango is possibly one of the best smells in my opinion.

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