Butter Bends, Right?

Today is Bad Poetry Day! I've already graced you with some of my poetry in the past, and by all technical definitions, that was bad poetry. However by my high school english teacher's definitions, it was so purposefully self-satirical that it was nothing short of brilliance. Well... she said "Good Job! 100%", but you learn to translate those sorts of things.


Today, though, I have to make up some poetry that is both technically and artistically bad. It's hard to do, since in this modern world of modern thinking, anything horrible is at risk of being labelled 'modern' and then shoved into a museum for preservation. But, I'll give it the best I have.

Here is something awesomely awful,
So much so it shouldn't be lawful.
Some of these lines will be a crawful.
Like trying to eat too many falafels.


Some might think that to make a bad verse.
You don't rhyme, forget rhythm, or curse.
My opinion is quite the inverse.
You keep the rules, but makes them perverse.


Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter.
No, you keep the guidelines, but bend them like... butter?
Stretch them and skew them until they shutter.
Just enough to make readers insanely mutter.


When you've done that, you're job is done.
Blame is sought, but in you they'll find none.
You haven't broken a rule, no not one.
Just do us a favor and steer clear of puns.


Well, there ya go. That's about as horrible as I can be at poetry. It's hard to be all that bad when you enjoy poetry and know the rules. I broke quite a few, but... I mean I kinda still like it. If you can do worse, please do so and comment with your bad poem!


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Blog of Nonsense [Un-lost Post]

This post was originally for the 12th, but Blogger had some problems and lost it. I explained this on the post for May 13th. Just today, I found the draft had been placed back in my post list, so here is the original.

Today is Limerick Day! Edward Lear, the writer who made limericks a cool thing to write, was born today in 1812. Today celebrates his contributions to writing, namely his book Book of Nonsense, since that was the title that popularized the limerick. A limerick is a five-line poem with a rhyming scheme of AABBA. That means that the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, while the third and fourth rhyme with themselves. I wrote a limerick back in my high school days that I am still quite proud of.



"I once was the world's greatest poet,

Though many of you didn't know it.

But I've hit my head

On the edge of my bed,

And now I can no longer rhyme."



Classic me. So spend today coming up with your own limerick, or find some good limericks to read. If you want to really celebrate hardcore, try only speaking in limericks.



Thanks for reading!

~Kyle