Sunday, April 10, 2011

Pastors' Pastime

Today is Golfer's Day! How fortuitous that today would fall on a Sunday. I'm not unwilling to confess that a huge stereotype about churchgoers is that we all love golf. I'm also not unwilling to confess that I am a churchgoer who is absolutely terrible at golf (With the exception of Mario Golf). Still, golf is apparently something that people like to do for fun and profit. This absolutely baffles me for several reasons.

1. Golf is a sport not only NOT played in rain. "Perfect" conditions are a cloudless, breezeless day. Where I live, that means heat. Lots of heat. If there's one thing I don't like about heat, it's the heat.

2. Dress code. I understand that most sports have uniforms, but golf has khaki and plaid going for it. A visor if you are really pro. Not that I'm against polo shirts. I'm just against playing a sport in sweltering heat while wearing a polo shirt.

3. The waiting. If you get there at a busy time, you have to wait for someone to finish a course before you even start. If they stink, this can take a long time. A very. Long. Time.

So in summary: Golf is not for me. I haven't been in a while, but if I am ever forced to go due to some sort of business proposal meeting seminar whatever... then I'll probably just call dibs on driving the golf cart everywhere and sitting in it while the others play through. I'll put on a wrist splint and say I sprained my wrist reaching for the horizon or some business mumbo jumbo. Will I get ahead? Not that day. Will I get sunburn? Definitely not. Will my golf stats change? Don't care. Will I be suspected of drug abuse for saying weird things like that? Probably. That's why I don't work in an office.

Thanks for reading!

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