Yellow Submarine

Today is Submarine Day! Today can be celebrated one of two ways according to my research. It can be celebrated as a day for actual submarines, or it can be celebrated as a submarine sandwich day. There are obviously very subtle differences between how you might celebrate the existence of either thing, so I've made a helpful little comparison guide to help you out.

Submarine (ship): Go into the belly of the ship (or bowels depending on how dramatic you are/how far down you go)

Submarine (sandwich): Put one in your belly (Eventually bowels. Not an option.)

Submarine (ship): Try to make a submersible item of your own while still keeping air inside of it. It doesn't have to actual size. Maybe a water bottle in a bath tub.

Submarine (sandwich): Don't do that with a sandwich. Bread floats and tastes nasty after being in a bath tub. Possibly find something to dip your sandwich in like ranch or that french dip at Arby's.

Submarine (ship): Find out how much of a submarine you could buy. An attack one is roughly $13,951,671 per square foot. Thats an insanely rough estimate, though. Only top-result google research was involved. Still. Dang.

Submarine (sandwich): 5 Dollar Footlong.

So that's about all the ways I can think of to celebrate today that I can make into some kind of humorous joke while maintaining some semblance of slight realism. So I'm gonna go clean a garage I think and then head over to a sub-shop for lunch. I don't think there's an actual submarine anywhere near me. But, if there is. I will take a picture.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Dudley

Today is Everything You Do is Right Day! It is pretty much the counterpart to yesterday, in the sense that it celebrates the days where everything just seems to go right. Spend today trying to do things that you may have been putting off, because if you are celebrating today correctly, then you will have no problem doing the harder tasks. There isn't really much else to say about today, so get out there and do right!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Being Wrong and Buzzards

Today is Buzzard's Day! This holiday is pretty much exclusive to Ohio, as citizens spend today celebrating the return of the buzzards. Buzzards are apparently also known as turkey vultures, which makes me wonder: Why? Both turkeys and vultures aren't really animals I ever thought about outright celebrating the return of. Aside from thanksgiving or the time I have to decide between a Santa Fe Chicken Wrap or a Turkey Club Sandwich, I rarely think about turkey at all. As for vultures, I've only ever actually seen them in cartoon deserts or The Jungle Book. I thought that maybe it was Ohio's state bird, but I was wrong. Their state bird is the cardinal. I don't understand this holiday, but I suppose if I see a buzzard, I'll give it a smile.

Today is also Everything You Think is Wrong Day! This may seem like a somewhat cruel holiday, and it kind of is. Today is a day spent in the awareness of the fact that some days just do not go right. Well, to be more exact, it's for those days when everything goes wrong. No matter what you think might fix a situation, something will come along and make it worse. We all have had those days, and we all will simply give in to them eventually and watch our day fall apart around us. Don't worry, though. After days like those, the next day always seems so much better.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle