Today Sucks

WAIT! Before you get offended by the title and leave, it's only a pun! See, today is Create-a-Vacuum Day. Get it? So don't leave, guys. ... Thank you.

Create-a-Vacuum Day is fairly simple aside from the hyphens which really throw me off. Wouldn't it mean the same thing without them? That's off-topic, though. Today, you create a vacuum. Now, I'm fairly sure that it doesn't mean you have to go out, buy parts, and tinker around until you have your own version of the dyson vacuums. Instead, I think this is more of a scientific vacuum creation day, which is much cheaper and easier. For those of you that skipped childhood and went straight onto your... oh, we'll say late 30's, creating a vacuum is as easy as owning any kind of cup. That's because all you NEED is a cup. That's right!

Now, take that cup and put in on your mouth. No, ON it not up to it. No, not the side of the cup. No, not the bottom. No... okay start over. Take the cup and surround your lips with the lip of the cup by putting the top part of the cup around your mouth. The lip should be right under your nose, barely touching both cheeks, and on your chin now. To make sure you have it right, speak into the cup and it should sound a little echoey, and if you have it tight enough, you'll not be able to speak due to filling the cup with too much air. Good, but STOP TALKING! Filling the cup with air is exactly what we are working against here. Alright final step: Breath in, sucking all the air out of the cup. It may take several breaths, but you should reach a point where the cup will stay on your face without you even holding it! Now you turn to the person nearest you, tap them on the shoulder, and when they look at you, point at your mouth and grunt happily. They will either try to imitate you, or slap the cup off of your face. Either way, you are going to have a circle on your face for a while. This is how other holiday enthusiasts will recognize you, so wear it proudly! Beginners should start with disposable cups, and eventually you'll be able to work your way up to plastic or even glass for the risk takers.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

So the story goes...

I've never actually known a town that had a legend of it's own aside from large scale things such as the Loch Ness and other stories like it. Thanks to Cordova Ice Worm Day, I now know that there is a small town in Alaska called Cordova which has a festival to celebrate their very own legendary... beast? I mean their worms, but legendary beast sounds better than legendary worms. In fact the latter sounds like something you would want to get an immunity shot for. They are the ONLY place that has a celebration dedicated to this rarely seen worm, and they celebrate it right. By that I mean: they celebrate it in ways that I've always pictured a small town with it's own legend should. Games. Not just any games, though! Games that you would only find in a small town, which makes them rare and fun and usually very family friendly. There is the usual parade and exhibits, sure, but something tells me the real hidden fun is in such gems of games as " oyster Shuck-n-Suck, longest beard, best legs, and tastiest smoked salmon, among others". they even have a Miss Ice Worm Pageant! How would you ladies like to hold that title?


Now, unfortunately, I can't travel to alaska and back in day. I may be able to convince my family to do a few friendly competitions, and perhaps make everything I do today a game in my head. That's the best that I can do as of yet, though. Although maybe I could find some way to call someone in Cordova and wish them a happy day.


Thanks for reading!
~Kyle


P.S. A lot of the holiday info can be found here


http://cordovachamber.com/images/file/IW%20Program-2011-final-change-%201-31(1).pdf


and I got some here, too


http://www.frugalfun.com/cordova.html


And I just called Cordova. They were very nice and it makes me want to go next year. Its a week-long celebration almost!!!

iPure

Today is Purification Day, and with the power out, I only got to research so much of it. From what I can tell, it is a day celebrating one of the early moments in Jesus' life. I couldn't find one specific celebration type, but one thing is for sure, most of them involved lighting candles. I am aaaaall for lighting candles on a cold day such as this, and might even just light a fire. I also have been wanting to get rid of all songs in my iTunes that might hinder my efforts to become a better Christian, so I shall do that as well. Hopefully the internet will be back by tomorrow, and I can find out more about the 3rd's holiday.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle