Free pass for a meltdown.

Today is Panic Day! Today you get a free pass to be as run-around-in-circles worried as you need to be. Visiting my old high school, I can tell you that panic is in the air. It may be hard to see, but whether it be juniors stressing over an 'extremely hard' paper, or teachers trying to deal with the stresses that the spring season brings at a k-12 school: Panic is in the air.

Having recently been a substitute to a 1st grade class on a Friday, I can say with certainty that teachers have every right to panic every day they go to work. It is an act of courtesy and dignity that they choose to maintain their composure. Today, however, feel free to let your teacher know that it's okay to freak out. You won't tell their boss that they flipped a chair, or yelled at a student, or even that they plan on spending their free period curled up in the corner rocking their crazy away.

Students, you can take advantage of the Internet knowledge your generation has been gifted, and instead use facebook to let everyone you know (and around 570 people you don't know) just how many reasons you have to panic.

After all the extra panicking you do today, tomorrow should be panic free! Right? ... RIGHT?!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle


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Becoming Oscar.

Today is Be Nasty Day. Today is a day to be... well... nasty. The word 'nasty' can mean many different things, though. the first thing I thought was to be mean to everyone, and I'm sure that's what most of you thought, too. However, the first definition of 'nasty' in my handy dandy macbook dictionary is "Highly unpleasant, especially to the senses; physically nauseating". Now, I don't know about you, but there are very few people I have seen in my life that have physically nauseated me. I've met people that I thought were disgusting in a few ways, sure, but to actually be at the point of debating whether or not I could hold in an urge to throw up while in their presence? That's a rarity.

Of course, the dictionary also defines it in the way we would think normally. "Behaving in an unpleasant or spiteful way". Ah, there we go. We have all been around someone being this kind of nasty, and we have all been this kind of nasty. This kind of nasty is easier to pull off as well, because there are many different actions that various people will view as nasty.

Not I recommend going all-out in your celebration of this Holiday, but if one were to choose to do so, I would recommend following the second definition. It's not only easier, it's most likely healthier in the short-run. If this holiday were year-long, I'd recommend the second. I've contractually obligated myself to celebrate each holiday "To the best that my current circumstances allow", however. So I will be doing my best to be nasty all day. Luckily, I have the internet, which makes it just oh-so-much easier to be nasty towards others. As for being disgusting... uh... I just... won't... shower? ... It's just a day after all.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

P.S. I do not approve of internet bullying.

Bacon King

Today is National Crown Roast of Pork Day.  It is fairly obviously a day to roast and eat pork. I don't know if it HAS to be a crown roast of pork specifically, and I'm going to have to hope not for my sake. As a 20 year old college boy, I do not have the supplies to make a crown roast of pork, and even more importantly: I don't have the money to buy those supplies. What I can do is make up for that fact. I have enough pork related products in the house to trick my stomach into eating multiple crown roasts. If you are fortunate enough to be able to celebrate this holiday properly, however, please share with friends. If everyone bought and ate their own, that would only further certain thoughts about the american lifestyle.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle