Today is Take Your Pants For a Walk Day! Perhaps a kinder, gentler way of saying "Get Your Butt In Shape", today is a day to go for a walk... with pants on... ON. That also means no skirts, dresses, shorts, tutus, or kilts.
Your pants need to work out too, after all. Their fitness is a little flipped compared to ours, though. When jeans seem to be getting tight around your waist, that means that you need to start working them out. The easiest way to do so is to simply wear them while you work out. After a while, you'll notice they stop becoming so needy and clinging to your hips all the time. That means that they are now ready to loosen up and be comfortable around the other articles of clothing in your closet. Of course, sometimes they become so free from your waist, that you simply have to let them go, lest they try to escape of their own accord at an inopportune moment.
Don't worry, though! You can go buy a new pair of pants and start working out with them! If you do so often enough, not only will your own physique become maintained, but you'll have helped many pairs of pants on their journey to comfiness. Soon, when you are in peak condition and have helped enough of pants-kind, they will bestow upon you a gift in the form of the perfect pair of pants. Be careful not to take it for granted, however, as they are known to start constricting those who take them for granted, and you have begin the cycle anew.
Thanks for reading!