Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
Friday, November 18, 2011
A Cult Classic
Today is Occult Day! The occult is something that deals with the supernatural or paranormal, and is usually cast in a none-too-positive light. I find it hi-ho-larious that the newest Twilight movie came out today, and that hi-ho-larious doesn't come up as a misspelled word. Probably due to the hyphens. I decided that the best way to celebrate... er... acknowledge today was to perform a little magic trick. And here it is. I can't say that it turned out too well for me. Let this be a lesson to all you kids. Don't mess with magic.
Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
Thursday, November 17, 2011
A Hike In My Head
Today is Take a Hike Day! Now, there aren't many places near me that I would qualify as a genuine 'hike', as I always thought you need at least one good hill involved to no just be on a walk or a stroll. However, I did my best to find an at least somewhat bumpy path to hike on, and did! Being a complete dummy, I forgot to take any pictures or evidence whatsoever. However, since I was pretty much alone with my thoughts, I heard them quite clearly, and actually have a mental record of what I was thinking. So here is a brief look into what goes on in my head in the easiest way I could think of to do it. Script-form.
LOGIC (Pretty much the head honcho): Alright, guys, we've made it to the park. Quick check to see how everything is going. Everybody report.
DOC (Handles almost physical stuff): The stomachs still looking good thanks to the late breakfast, the neck's a little stiff from driving, though.
LOGIC: I'll have one of the interns tell the hands to get crackin' on that.
DOC: Great. The feet seem to be wondering why they aren't being covered up. The ground is still cold before noon.
LOGIC: Look, they kept complaining about shoes being too tight, so a vote was passed to forgo wearing shoes until the new ones came in the mail.
DOC: New ones have come. They're very comfy, if lacking in arch support.
LOGIC: Well, we'll have to call another meeting about that, then, he might have gotten used to going shoeless. Right now let's focus on the task at hand: Enjoying nature. EMOTICON, what's the feel out there?
EMOTICON (A robot built to process emotion (spoken in a robotic voice)): Everything looks very fresh and new with the morning dew on it. I especially like that tree that looks like a face. :) Otherwise, I'm not getting many clear observations yet.
LOGIC: Why not?
EMOTICON: It seems that the observation deck has not turned all it's systems on yet :/
LOGIC: What?
(LOGIC swivels his chair around to face SEPIA and RUSSET, who control the left and right eye respectively)
LOGIC: What's going on, you two?
SEPIA: We haven't had our coffee yet.
LOGIC: Kyle... doesn't drink coffee.
RUSSET: He doesn't, but we do. It's cliche of our character types.
LOGIC: ... Whatever. Drink some coffee then.
SEPIA: Aw, we can't imagine good coffee.
LOGIC: You've literally had a front seat to every coffee ever seen by Kyle. Do your best.
RUSSET: ...Fine
(Coffee appears and SEPIA & RUSSET drink it)
LOGIC: Alright. Anyone else have anything to report?
CHAOS (Nobody really knows what this guy does, but he's interesting, so they let him come to the meetings): Totally. Did you guys know that the Space Jam website is still up? The original one! I saw a tweet about it yesterday and thought I'd bring it up.
LOGIC: Thanks. That's great...
EMOTICON: The sunrise is so beautiful, guys.
LOGIC: It's 10:47...
EMOTICON. It was beautiful, though.
LOGIC: Good to hear. Log it into the memory files.
EMOTICONS: Well, we've seen better, to be honest.
LOGIC: Alright, well we'll just keep it on the table until it gets in the way, then.
ANXIETY (Tries to keep the brain free of clutter or duplicate ideas): Uuuuugh! The tables so full, though. Argh... I'll just throw out some character names from Chuck. He hasn't watched that show in a while.
LOGIC: I'm getting some readings of annoyance from the brain. Anyone know what the cause is?
ANXIETY: You're wel-
RUSSET (shouting across room): Yeah, there are some mosquitos out today. We're teaming up with the guys running the hands to care of it, but there's also gnats everywhere.
EMOTICON: Why do gnats always stay above the sidewalk?! >:(
LOGIC: It's fine, it's fine. We've got a good swatting method, and as long as we don't breath during the gnat clouds, we'll be fine.
SUBCONSCIOUS (Background guy): NO! I take care of breathing just fine! If you take over, he'll just hold his breath for fun again!
LOGIC: Calm down, you still have control of... is there a word for wanting to live?
SUBCONSCIOUS: You mean the thing I do when he holds his breath for too long and I make him start breathing before he passes out?
LOGIC: Yes. I don't think there's a word for that. Make a note to try to find one later.
ANXIETY: Ugh...
DOC: Oh I think I should mention that we do need to go to the bathroom.
LOGIC: It'll have to wait, he's still hiking.
DOC: Well, it's one of those times where I should have brought it up hours ago, but just found it on my desk and realized it was never taken care of.
LOGIC: (Heavy sigh) Alright, let's head back to the car.
END SCENE!
And that's how I think of my brain. There were actually a lot more subjects talked about between other people at the meeting, but I just gave you the really pertinent things.
Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
LOGIC (Pretty much the head honcho): Alright, guys, we've made it to the park. Quick check to see how everything is going. Everybody report.
DOC (Handles almost physical stuff): The stomachs still looking good thanks to the late breakfast, the neck's a little stiff from driving, though.
LOGIC: I'll have one of the interns tell the hands to get crackin' on that.
DOC: Great. The feet seem to be wondering why they aren't being covered up. The ground is still cold before noon.
LOGIC: Look, they kept complaining about shoes being too tight, so a vote was passed to forgo wearing shoes until the new ones came in the mail.
DOC: New ones have come. They're very comfy, if lacking in arch support.
LOGIC: Well, we'll have to call another meeting about that, then, he might have gotten used to going shoeless. Right now let's focus on the task at hand: Enjoying nature. EMOTICON, what's the feel out there?
EMOTICON (A robot built to process emotion (spoken in a robotic voice)): Everything looks very fresh and new with the morning dew on it. I especially like that tree that looks like a face. :) Otherwise, I'm not getting many clear observations yet.
LOGIC: Why not?
EMOTICON: It seems that the observation deck has not turned all it's systems on yet :/
LOGIC: What?
(LOGIC swivels his chair around to face SEPIA and RUSSET, who control the left and right eye respectively)
LOGIC: What's going on, you two?
SEPIA: We haven't had our coffee yet.
LOGIC: Kyle... doesn't drink coffee.
RUSSET: He doesn't, but we do. It's cliche of our character types.
LOGIC: ... Whatever. Drink some coffee then.
SEPIA: Aw, we can't imagine good coffee.
LOGIC: You've literally had a front seat to every coffee ever seen by Kyle. Do your best.
RUSSET: ...Fine
(Coffee appears and SEPIA & RUSSET drink it)
LOGIC: Alright. Anyone else have anything to report?
CHAOS (Nobody really knows what this guy does, but he's interesting, so they let him come to the meetings): Totally. Did you guys know that the Space Jam website is still up? The original one! I saw a tweet about it yesterday and thought I'd bring it up.
LOGIC: Thanks. That's great...
EMOTICON: The sunrise is so beautiful, guys.
LOGIC: It's 10:47...
EMOTICON. It was beautiful, though.
LOGIC: Good to hear. Log it into the memory files.
EMOTICONS: Well, we've seen better, to be honest.
LOGIC: Alright, well we'll just keep it on the table until it gets in the way, then.
ANXIETY (Tries to keep the brain free of clutter or duplicate ideas): Uuuuugh! The tables so full, though. Argh... I'll just throw out some character names from Chuck. He hasn't watched that show in a while.
LOGIC: I'm getting some readings of annoyance from the brain. Anyone know what the cause is?
ANXIETY: You're wel-
RUSSET (shouting across room): Yeah, there are some mosquitos out today. We're teaming up with the guys running the hands to care of it, but there's also gnats everywhere.
EMOTICON: Why do gnats always stay above the sidewalk?! >:(
LOGIC: It's fine, it's fine. We've got a good swatting method, and as long as we don't breath during the gnat clouds, we'll be fine.
SUBCONSCIOUS (Background guy): NO! I take care of breathing just fine! If you take over, he'll just hold his breath for fun again!
LOGIC: Calm down, you still have control of... is there a word for wanting to live?
SUBCONSCIOUS: You mean the thing I do when he holds his breath for too long and I make him start breathing before he passes out?
LOGIC: Yes. I don't think there's a word for that. Make a note to try to find one later.
ANXIETY: Ugh...
DOC: Oh I think I should mention that we do need to go to the bathroom.
LOGIC: It'll have to wait, he's still hiking.
DOC: Well, it's one of those times where I should have brought it up hours ago, but just found it on my desk and realized it was never taken care of.
LOGIC: (Heavy sigh) Alright, let's head back to the car.
END SCENE!
And that's how I think of my brain. There were actually a lot more subjects talked about between other people at the meeting, but I just gave you the really pertinent things.
Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Don't Push My Buttons
Today is Button Day! There are quite a lot of kinds of buttons in this world. Don't even get me started on sizes and shapes. Depending on the button you're talking about, it could be practical enough to hold your shirt together so as not to accidentally reveal your totally chiseled abs that you so totally have, or it could be unlabeled enough to make you wonder what would happen if you pressed it and how many of those possible consequences is pressing that button worth?
My advice: Choose what kind of button you want to celebrate today. Whether it be your favorite button-up shirt, your favorite flair from the one restaurant where the employees wear them like chainmail, or a little portable button for you to press on whenever you feel like you need to be in control. It's all fair game.
Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
My advice: Choose what kind of button you want to celebrate today. Whether it be your favorite button-up shirt, your favorite flair from the one restaurant where the employees wear them like chainmail, or a little portable button for you to press on whenever you feel like you need to be in control. It's all fair game.
Thanks for reading!
~Kyle
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