Fickle Creatures

Today is Take Your Pants For a Walk Day! Perhaps a kinder, gentler way of saying "Get Your Butt In Shape", today is a day to go for a walk... with pants on... ON. That also means no skirts, dresses, shorts, tutus, or kilts.

Your pants need to work out too, after all. Their fitness is a little flipped compared to ours, though. When jeans seem to be getting tight around your waist, that means that you need to start working them out. The easiest way to do so is to simply wear them while you work out. After a while, you'll notice they stop becoming so needy and clinging to your hips all the time. That means that they are now ready to loosen up and be comfortable around the other articles of clothing in your closet. Of course, sometimes they become so free from your waist, that you simply have to let them go, lest they try to escape of their own accord at an inopportune moment.

Don't worry, though! You can go buy a new pair of pants and start working out with them! If you do so often enough, not only will your own physique become maintained, but you'll have helped many pairs of pants on their journey to comfiness. Soon, when you are in peak condition and have helped enough of pants-kind, they will bestow upon you a gift in the form of the perfect pair of pants. Be careful not to take it for granted, however, as they are known to start constricting those who take them for granted, and you have begin the cycle anew.

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

Personal Day

Today is Workaholics Day! Today is a day for all the people that have an addiction to work to do one of two things: try to stop working and relax for the day or celebrate the addiction. Now, I'm absolutely zero types of doctor, but in my opinion celebrating an addiction is rarely (if ever) good. So to all my workaholic readers out there, I suggest you take the day off. Eat some calming homemade food. Actually have something delivered because that's less work for you. Use me as an example: I'm updating my daily blog late at night and feeling rushed because I have a video game to get back to. A VIDEO GAME. To get back to! That's so much "not work" it almost hurts.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Clean up the Chore Board

Today is No Housework Day!

Well, darn... I had planned to do SO much housework today, but my commitment to celebrating these holidays stops me from doing any at all. Today is just a day to take a break from constantly fixing or cleaning something in your house. If I were to be perfectly honest, I'm not one of those people anyway. However, I do know those people, and I can see why there would be a holiday for them to stop. It may drive you absolutely crazy to see that granola bar wrapper on the coffee table, but today you just don't pick it up. There isn't too much that could become messy in a day unless you live with the tasmanian devil, so it shouldn't be too bad I should hope. One day away from the stresses of constant cleaning. Hopefully you didn't have guests coming today.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Workin' the Tweed

Today is Tweed Day! It's a day to wear tweed! Obviously some college professors from the 90's have an advantage on most of us because I don't know about you, but: I own absolutely no tweed. I didn't know that I didn't until I googled "tweed" and found out what it was, though. There was also a fairly (in)famous person named Boss Tweed born on this day. Judging by what wikipedia said he did, however, I don't know how or why I would want to celebrate him? I'm going to stick with celebrating the cloth. I'm sure there is some SOMEwhere in this house.

Today is also Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day! This one literally spells itself out for you, so I'm going to go ahead and assume you know what to do. But WAIT! Today is sunday and a lot of workplaces are closed anyway! Well, this is awkward... How about we tweak the meaning just a little bit. In the name of holiday spirit. Let's just not do work unless it's fun today. Sound good to you? Yeah. It does to me, too.

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle