Fickle Creatures

Today is Take Your Pants For a Walk Day! Perhaps a kinder, gentler way of saying "Get Your Butt In Shape", today is a day to go for a walk... with pants on... ON. That also means no skirts, dresses, shorts, tutus, or kilts.

Your pants need to work out too, after all. Their fitness is a little flipped compared to ours, though. When jeans seem to be getting tight around your waist, that means that you need to start working them out. The easiest way to do so is to simply wear them while you work out. After a while, you'll notice they stop becoming so needy and clinging to your hips all the time. That means that they are now ready to loosen up and be comfortable around the other articles of clothing in your closet. Of course, sometimes they become so free from your waist, that you simply have to let them go, lest they try to escape of their own accord at an inopportune moment.

Don't worry, though! You can go buy a new pair of pants and start working out with them! If you do so often enough, not only will your own physique become maintained, but you'll have helped many pairs of pants on their journey to comfiness. Soon, when you are in peak condition and have helped enough of pants-kind, they will bestow upon you a gift in the form of the perfect pair of pants. Be careful not to take it for granted, however, as they are known to start constricting those who take them for granted, and you have begin the cycle anew.

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

Shocking Deals

Today is Video Game Day! Now, video games have base for much controversy, yet they are an undeniably prevalent form of media used to express ideas and stories in such a way that simply cannot be done through other forms of... wait... Video Game Day?! That's awesome! Who made this holiday? Ralph Baer? Probably not, but it would be cool if it WAS him. Dang. I wasn't prepared for this at aaaaaall.

Naw, I totally was. I've been playing a little PS3 game called "inFamous" in preparation for today. Because today, I went out and bought it's sequel "inFamous 2". They didn't have any copies of it left, though. At least not any normal copies. I bought the hero edition for about ten dollars more and it came with just a BUNCH of goodies. Including (but not limited to) things that were probably worth 10-60 dollars alone. I got the whole set for around $65, though. Look at all this stuff!

Alright I'm done geeking out now. I'm just gonna go play this game for the next several hours. ... So... not... really done geeking out at all... I've just be geeking passively for a while.

Thanks for reading!

~Kyle

Paranoid Narcissist

Today is Stay Out of the Sun Day! Having just driven (drove? droven?) home in the heat of a car without air conditioning in the afternoon of the middle of the summer, I can say that today is a GREAT day to stay out of the sun. It's hot, it's unstoppable, and it's aimed right at you. A day in the summer is exactly like a natural human life. At the beginning, it's new, beautiful, and it's just a great thing to see: Newborn. Right around noon, it starts getting to be a little bit of a handful. It annoys you, it might even hurt you if you are with it too long: Pre-teen to around 23 depending on maturity levels. Right before dusk it starts calming down and mingles with the lower clouds and rooftops. It's barely getting a little more colour as it has experienced much in the hours it has been out: Middle Age. Finally there is sunset. The time when there is brilliant changes of color as it cools down and reflects on all it's done in it's time before it's gone for the night: Oldies. The moral of the story is: Stay out of the sun in the middle of the day. Also pre-teens I guess.

Today is also Compliment Your Mirror Day! Well, well, well. These holidays go hand in hand! If you choose to stay out of the sun by staying inside (wise choice), then you can take the time that you could have been spending working on your tan (or burn if you're me) telling yourself how good you look instead. It's fairly easy to do. All you need is a mirror (preferably clean), and your face (again... preferably clean). Then you just notice all the good things about your face, and compliment yourself on them. Easy peasy right? You could also take the literal route and compliment your mirror. Look how perfectly cut and reflective it is!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle

Free pass for a meltdown.

Today is Panic Day! Today you get a free pass to be as run-around-in-circles worried as you need to be. Visiting my old high school, I can tell you that panic is in the air. It may be hard to see, but whether it be juniors stressing over an 'extremely hard' paper, or teachers trying to deal with the stresses that the spring season brings at a k-12 school: Panic is in the air.

Having recently been a substitute to a 1st grade class on a Friday, I can say with certainty that teachers have every right to panic every day they go to work. It is an act of courtesy and dignity that they choose to maintain their composure. Today, however, feel free to let your teacher know that it's okay to freak out. You won't tell their boss that they flipped a chair, or yelled at a student, or even that they plan on spending their free period curled up in the corner rocking their crazy away.

Students, you can take advantage of the Internet knowledge your generation has been gifted, and instead use facebook to let everyone you know (and around 570 people you don't know) just how many reasons you have to panic.

After all the extra panicking you do today, tomorrow should be panic free! Right? ... RIGHT?!

Thanks for reading!
~Kyle


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